


The Athlete's Redemption

by Draccimus



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Alex is a bit rude, Eventual Smut, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, childhood bully
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:07:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28792917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draccimus/pseuds/Draccimus
Summary: Jacob quit his well-paying but soul-draining job at Joja to take over his grandfather’s farm. With only a few college classes on agriculture, maintaining a large farm on his own will not be easy.Growing up in the anonymity of a busy city, he was looking forward to building a social life in a community that his grandfather cherished. Despite his urges to maintain a snarky attitude towards people, the new farmer quickly finds himself connecting to the inhabitants of Pelican Town. Introducing himself to them went well, until he ran into one gridball player who reminded Jacob of every single one of his childhood bullies. Much to his own surprise, he found himself both infuriated and drawn in by the handsome athlete, who appeared to be battling his own past.
Relationships: Alex/Male Player (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 121





	1. A New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I have not written anything for fun in well over 10 years. After reading the incredible "Sleepless Nights" story by ShippingMyWorld, I just had to add to this pairing myself. So bear with me while I try to figure out my own style again. 
> 
> Magic does not exist in this world, but the strange 28-day seasons still do. Let's not question Stardew Valley too much.  
> There will be some explicit scenes later on, but they will not be the main focus of the story. Instead I just want to try and write a realistic development of a relationship. Either way, I hope you enjoy the story :)

Jacob was fiddling with the letter in his hands. He had read it a dozen times and could remember every single word in it. Yet here he sat at work in one of the many cubicles at Joja Corporations, with its contents more tempting than ever before. The little thing gave him a lot of strength to work overtime at a soul-draining job. His bosses were usually yelling at him or at any other unfortunate employee to appear in their sight, and the only way to get away was to wait until they had found a new victim to berate. Jacob was not even sure what made his bosses so angry. He always finished his work before the deadlines, got along with most of his colleagues and got great ratings from customers. Yet here he was again, sat on his squeaky office chair, enduring another tirade from his supervisor. His eyes gazed into the distance, not focusing on anything as he picked up only some of the words that were being shouted in his direction. Something about only giving 99 percent instead of the 110 percent that Joja expected.   
Jacob sighed loudly. This resulted in a shocked visage from his supervisor, and a blissful moment of quiet as he spent the next ten seconds finding the words to reprimand Jacob for sighing in his face. Jacob decided that today was not the day he would endure another word. He held up a finger, in a shushing position at first, and then pointed it at the supervisor’s face. 

“Save your breath. I already know what you’re about to say. You’ve shouted it in this office a hundred times before. We all get it. I don’t need to hear it one last time before I quit. Yes, I quit. Right now, right here. Whatever promising career or salary increases you are about to offer to keep me, I don’t want to hear any of it. I know my value as an employee, and so do you. Enjoy struggling to fill my position, I already have a better one lined up.” He held up the letter and waved it in his supervisor’s face before standing up, grabbing his backpack and leaving. Luckily, it was against Joja policy to have any personal items at your desk, so he did not have to awkwardly collect his things first. A few individuals began to clap, getting a confused look from Jacob. The clapping dwindled very quickly when the angry yelling resumed. 

“Hope I didn’t get anyone fired just now,” Jacob thought to himself. He scratched the back of his head as he headed out of the office building. It was dark already, and a cold breeze stung his eyes, causing a few solitary tears to roll down his cheeks, freezing slightly in the winter air before being wiped away. At least that’s what he would claim caused the tears. Jacob was shaking, not from the cold but with anger and anxiety. He had worked for Joja for the past three years and they broke him that quickly. He was exhausted, depressed and now foolish enough to quit his job, all because of this stupid letter. He wiped away a few more tears as he arrived in his small apartment, belly flopping onto his couch. He slipped his shoes off with his feet, no longer caring about dragging dirt in. He grabbed the letter again, this time opening the envelope and immediately spotting his name written in his grandfather’s shaky handwriting. He sighed again before pulling out the rest of the letter. 

“Dear Jake,   
I wish I were writing to you under better circumstances, but my health has been deteriorating.” Jacob’s eyes already began to tear up, but he had to smile at how many times the last word had been scratched through until grandpa had managed to spell it right.   
“When we grow old, we begin to remember the good times more than the bad, and I find myself often remembering the vacations you spent here at Windflower Farm. I like to think these memories will accompany you to your old age as well.  
When I was 25, I had lost sight of what mattered most in life: real connections with other people and with nature. So I dropped everything and moved to Stardew Valley to build a farm and a place to grow old.”

Jacob continued wiping away tears as fast as he could before any could drop onto the letter and make the words harder to read than they already were. With his hands shaking, his eyes blurry and the anxiety of the past three years coming out all at once, he found himself remembering the letter instead of reading it.

“If you find yourself reaching the same point, I want you to know that you will not have to build the farm from scratch. I hereby enclose the deed to the farm for you to take over. Do not feel rushed. Whenever you feel like the city life has become too much, the farm will be waiting for you. I asked Mayor Lewis to keep it somewhat livable for you. I attached his phone number in case you want to contact him.   
I love you, Jake. Whichever path you take in life, let it be one of happiness and fulfillment.   
With love, Grandpa.”

Jacob looked up at the ceiling, taking deep breaths. He was not sure how long it took him to calm down enough to take out his phone, but surely 7 PM was not too late to call someone. He began to dial the number written in the letter, carefully entering each digit with his shaky thumb. He took another deep breath and pressed the call button. The phone began to ring. Oh Yoba, he was actually doing this. It rang two, three, four times before someone picked up the phone. The voice of an older man answered the phone. 

“Hello! Mayor Lewis of Stardew Valley here. How can I help you?” His voice sounded a bit stressed. Jacob paused for a moment; he did not plan this far ahead. Another “Hello?” shook him awake again. 

“Yes, hello. I’m sorry, got lost in a daydream there. My name is Jacob Miller. I, uh… I believe I inherited Windflower Farm?” Jacob took another few deep breaths. So far, so good. He heard some mumbling on the other side, and he could swear he also heard a woman’s voice. Eventually, the mumbling stopped, and he heard the old man clear his throat.

“Ah yes, Jacob. We had been expecting you, although that was five years ago already. Oh my, how time flies. Do you plan on taking over the farm then? When can we expect you?” A bit of guilt shot through Jacob for letting everyone wait for so long. 

“I’m not sure actually, this is a bit of a spur-of-the-moment thing for me. Spring will begin in about two weeks, how about then?” 

Some more mumbling could be heard, Jacob could swear he heard the words “Two weeks?! That’s barely enough time to clean up the house!” were spoken at some point. But after a bit, the old man continued.   
“Yes, that can be arranged. Could I call you back tomorrow? I’m a bit busy currently and we can then arrange further details, yes?”

Jacob agreed and as the phone call ended, he felt relief wash over him. He just threw away his life for a farm that was not much more than a childhood memory for him. He grabbed a pillow and held it over his face, screaming into it. “What a life. Nothing to throw away but depression,” he thought to himself. That night he ordered himself some pizza and beers, as the day required a celebration. Or some mourning. He was not yet sure which one. 

\---- 

With two weeks to clean up his city life, time passed more quickly than he would have liked. Jacob did not have any close friends that would miss him. There was however a lot of paperwork to fill out before he could properly take over the farm. The clerk responsible did not enjoy the rush she suddenly found herself in but, using his charisma (and paying a rush order fee), Jacob managed to convince her to finish everything in time. The rest of his days were spent in the library reading up on agriculture. He had taken some classes on it in college, half anticipating he would eventually take advantage of his grandfather’s offer. But this was all theoretical knowledge, most of which required urgent refreshing. He figured he would manage to use a hoe and a scythe with time and practice. 

Eventually the promised day arrived. He took a train from the suburbs to Zuzu city, from which he unfortunately had to use a taxi to get to Stardew Valley. The bus had been broken for years, and the lack of interest meant no one wanted to spend the money to fix it. Looking out of the window, the view was simply breathtaking. No concrete blocks sprouting out of the floor but plenty of trees, bushes, flowers. He could feel the excitement build inside, the same glee he used to feel as a kid when his parents would bring him here. As he stepped out of the taxi at the border of Pelican Town, he suppressed the instinct to say “Thanks for driving, dad!” to the taxi driver, paying him a large sum of gold for the long journey instead. 

Jacob began to wonder how long it would take him to think clearly again, the stress and exhaustion of the past three years still resulting in his fair share of brain farts. As he walked towards the town, he was intercepted by an old man, wearing a green shirt with a yellow tie and brown suspenders. A smile crept from beneath his gray mustache, one that was surely in style when the man was young. The old man was accompanied by a red-haired woman whose vest could not hide just how strong her arms truly were. Jacob wondered if that was the female voice he heard on the phone when he called Mayor Lewis for the first time. 

“Hey there! You must be Jacob. I haven’t seen you since you were much smaller. I’m Mayor Lewis, and this is the town’s carpenter, Robin.” The old man spoke with confidence, and Jacob wondered if he had actually met him before. Must not have been an exciting memory since he could not remember at all. Nonetheless, he shook the Mayor’s hand, and then the carpenter’s. Robin’s handshake was definitely the stronger of the two, but her voice was soft as she began to speak. “It is wonderful to meet you. Although a bit of a shame that I can no longer grab lumber from the farm without stealing.” She chuckled and Jacob wondered what lumber she was talking about. Maybe his grandpa had some reserves somewhere. He did note however, that the voice did not fit the woman on the phone, so maybe there was someone else he would meet soon. Jacob smiled at her. “Technically the farm has belonged to me for the past five years, so I guess you have been stealing this whole time. But I’m sure our businesses will come to an agreement.” He winked, realizing that his joke would have otherwise come across as too hostile for the first day. It would take some readjustment to be friendly with people, after all the abuse he endured at Joja. 

Luckily for Jacob, both Lewis and Robin seemed to laugh at the joke. “Well, I had to work for it, but you will see that soon enough” Robin replied, beginning to turn around and walk towards the location of the farm. Jacob remembered the path better than he remembered Lewis, overtaking the two in his excitement. Or maybe he misremembered, as he found an overgrown field he did not recognize. There were trees everywhere, large rocks and even bigger boulders covered everything the weeds didn’t already.   
Robin must have noticed the shock, as she put a hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “You see, your grandpa wasn’t able to do much upkeep anymore in his old age, and no one had been taking care of it in the past five years. Really, you should be thankful that I cut down some of the trees already. But don’t worry, I spent the past two weeks making sure the house was in a good state, at least. It is not very big, but it has everything you need. A bathroom, a kitchen, a bedroom, a small living room and a TV that can get a total of three channels. Your grandpa only got two back in his day!” 

Lewis cleared his throat. “Of course, the two weeks were just spent doing some small maintenance. The house was never neglected or forgotten. I, of course, honor the promise I made to your grandpa,” he nodded. Jacob and Robin just raised their eyebrows in suspicion. 

Walking along the edge of the field, Jacob found himself enjoying the smell of the trees and dirt. A faint, cold breeze, the last remnant of winter, carried the smell far. But he could not quite place it until he saw it with his own eyes.   
Eventually, the three of them arrived at the small house overlooking the field. Jacob noted that tools were already out, although slightly rusted. Robin mentioned the blacksmith in town could fix that if there was a need. Or he could just upgrade them instead, but that would require materials too. Standing on the porch, Lewis handed Jacob the key to the house and wished him good luck. He mentioned something about having other things to do and walked away at an impressive tempo for such an old man. Robin stayed behind a bit longer, explaining everything she could do to help (for a price, of course). She also explained where he could buy seeds, where the library was, how to get to the beach and many more things. She assured Jacob that he would figure things out with time, and told him not to hesitate to call her if he needed anything. Eventually, she left him alone and he entered his grandpa’s house. Well, his house now. The smell of freshly cut and painted wood filled the room, the one of dirt and trees slowly fading away. He explored his new home, already planning possible rearrangements. Noting the empty fridge, he realized he should head into town as soon as possible. 

Jacob found himself falling asleep almost immediately upon laying down. He had a restful and dreamless night that was ended too soon by a 6 AM alarm clock. Rubbing his eyes, it took him a moment to recognize where he was. The empty walls and lack of furniture did make it a bit harder to orient himself. He stumbled out of bed and into the kitchen to make himself some toast and coffee. He used to skip breakfast but figured the physical work that was waiting for him would require a bit more sustenance. He took out some milk from the fridge and the chocolate-flavored protein powder that he brought with him. He never took that stuff back in the city, despite trying to work out occasionally. But since he was about to get more exercise than ever before, he might as well try and see how buff he could get. He finished preparing the protein shake and took a first sip, immediately scrunching up his face. “Chocolate usually tastes better than this” he whispered, but forced himself to finish the shake with the hope of eventually getting used to it. He made his way to the bathroom, taking off his slightly too large t-shirt on the way. His pants were quickly dropped to the floor as he closed the door behind him. He stepped in the shower, not waiting for the water to get warm first. He would have had to wait quite some time too, since the maximal temperature appeared to be barely recognizable as lukewarm. Cursing under his breath, he made sure to shower quickly and dry off even faster. 

Coming out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and brushed his teeth. As he looked in the mirror, he began to inspect his face. Joja required him to be clean shaven every day, even though he was only conversing with customers via email and phone. So, needless to say, the first thing he did after quitting was try to grow a beard. He was surprised to see it come in with almost no empty spots. He looked a bit scruffy, but still presentable. His brown hair was kept short, he would shave it himself to save some money. He was not going to become a model, that he knew, but he felt much more handsome than he used to as a teenager. He hoped that the beard really did work like make-up for men and gave him a few more points on the attractiveness scale. Otherwise, he might have to add some actual make-up to help. He chuckled as he remembered wearing eyeliner during his short-lived emo phase.   
“Too much work, guess I just need to have a good personality instead,” he said to himself as he applied some sunscreen. He snapped a quick picture of his body with his phone so he could look back and see how he would change with all the work. He smiled at himself in the mirror and hung up the towel that he wore around his waist. Feeling a bit weird walking around naked, he hurried up to his bedroom to get dressed. Some black jeans and an old long-sleeved shirt would do for today, everything was bound to get dirty and ripped soon enough anyways. 

He stepped out into the fresh morning air and began to investigate his new property. Some trees could stay, offering shade for any livestock he may get in the future, but the vast majority will have to be cut down. Some of the areas seemed to require less work than others, so he began with cleaning up those. By lunch, he had already managed to clear out an area big enough to grow his first crops. It was also near a pond, which would make filling the watering can easy. The water was surprisingly clean compared to the rest of the farm. He had expected it to be overgrown with algae and used as a breeding ground by mosquitoes, but instead he could see right to the bottom. He was happy to see the pond so close to his house, noting the possibility of cooling off in hot summer days by jumping in. His daydreaming was rudely interrupted by his stomach demanding sustenance. He went inside to wash his hands, change his shoes into something more comfortable and began to head into town.   
His excitement of the day before must have made the village seem much closer. A good twenty to twenty-five minute walk later he finally arrived at the main square. He looked around and noticed only a few people that were walking around, none of which paid him any attention just yet. He decided to head into the saloon to try the local food first. Gus, the chef and owner of the establishment, welcomed Jacob with glee. Apparently, it had been almost two years since the last newcomer arrived in the town - an artist named Leah, who apparently lived south of the farm. Gus gave him a rundown of the most interesting personalities in the town as Jacob devoured a large size pizza. The incredible taste of the food made Jacob want to listen to all of Gus’ stories with greater care. Clearly, he was talking to a god of cooking and was expecting a prophecy any second now. The closest thing to a prophecy he got, though, was the suggestion to talk to everyone around town and get to know them.   
“There’s no nicer community in the country than Stardew Valley,” he said with love and appreciation in his eyes. 

Jacob paid his bill and thanked Gus for the conversation and the great meal. Both were things he desperately needed. He then headed straight to Pierre’s to purchase his first seeds. The two talked about future business affairs, since apparently Pierre was very interested in purchasing any produce he’d grow. In return, Pierre helped pick out which seeds to plant and explained when to best plant them. After what felt like an eternity of far too much information, the backdoor opened and two women appeared in the store. The green-haired one Jacob figured was his wife, judging by the fact that she looked to be Pierre’s age and immediately referred to him as “honey”. The other woman seemed to be barely twenty years old, with bright purple hair and a jeans vest on. She smiled and walked up to him, almost running.

“You must be the new farmer everyone is talking about! My friends and I were betting on who would show up. I said it would be a handsome bearded guy in his twenties. I got all three right, which means you just won me 300 gold!” She laughed just as intensely as she talked. Her entire body was shaking before she caught herself and blushed. “Oh my Yoba, I straight up called you handsome and told you that I bet on you. I didn’t even introduce myself! Well done, Abigail, you’re so good at people!” she smacked herself on the forehead. Now it was Jacob’s turn to laugh. He waved at her before realizing how incredibly foolish he looked waving at someone within arm’s reach. He then extended his hand for a handshake.   
“Jacob’s the name, awkwardness the game. Expect more cringy one liners to prove that. So, Abigail, was it?” Jacob asked as she took his hand, shaking it and beginning to laugh again. 

“Yeah, that’s my name. Oh boy, isn’t it hot in here?” she began to unzip her jeans jacket, readjusting herself and wiping some sweat off of her forehead. Underneath the jacket, she wore a “Journey of the Prairie King“ T-shirt and Jacob immediately began to stare. Abigail followed his eyes, noticing that he must have recognized the design. 

“Do you play? There’s an arcade system at the saloon. My friends and I usually meet on Fridays to play against each other. You could join us…If you’d like?” She seemed to speak faster and faster as the sentence went on. Jacob looked at her with amusement and began to nod. “Yes, I do! I used to own the console version and would love to try out the arcade version. I heard it is much harder.”  
Neither of them expected the ensuing conversation about strategies, favorite power ups and most hated enemies. The original awkwardness between them seemed to be forgotten and when Jacob left he made it clear he would kick her ass at the game on Friday. 

Closing the door behind him, he began to smile. “Of course, Jacob, you would be the new farmer in town and immediately establish yourself as the town nerd too. At least I may make some friends here quite quickly,” he thought to himself. He took out the small notebook he always kept in his pants just in case he had some ideas. He found it quite handy to write them down before he could forget them. He started making notes on all the villagers he had met to make it a bit easier to remember them all. After finishing the notes on Abigail and her mother Caroline, who barely got a word in over the video game discussions, he paused for a moment.   
“I should really start introducing myself to everyone, eh?” 

Jacob was on all accounts not an extrovert, but this was the beloved home of his grandpa and he would at least try to get to know its inhabitants. He would have never been able to keep up with all of them, but in a small town like this you are better off at least getting along with everyone. He thus spent the next two hours going from door to door, having a very quick introduction before moving on. He kept small notes on everyone, praying to Yoba that none of them would ever read them.   
“Jodie: Looks like she needs a break from her two sons, Sam and Vincent. Bring her wine at some point.

Haley: Complimented my eyebrows then insulted my clothes within five seconds. Bit superficial? Will buy love with flowers.

Harvey: Very smart guy, bit depressed, bit awkward. DOCTOR <\- important

Clint: Blacksmith. May need a guide on how to talk to women and not share his relationship problems with any new farmer that walks into his shop.

Marnie: Sells animals. Definitely the voice I heard on the phone. Denies ever visiting Lewis?”

The notes went on and on. Eventually he arrived at the last house for the day, close to Pierre’s and right next to a dog pen. A small look inside showed a whimpering Great Dane hiding away in his little house. Knowing better than to try and approach a scared dog without its owner present, Jacob instead headed for the house and knocked on the door. 

“Coming!” he heard from the inside, light footsteps approaching. The door opened slowly, and the familiar face of a old lady appeared. Jacob introduced himself, trying to remember where he recognized her from. Her face lit up when he mentioned his name and the farm. 

“Oh, is that so? Georgie dear, the new farmer is here! Little Jake, all grown up! Oh, your grandpa and I were such good friends! He would always plant the most beautiful flowers for me, Granny Evelyn. My George and your grandpa would often work in the mines together. Oh, there he is. Georgie, over here!” Evelyn spoke with a kindness only a grandmother could present, in a sing song voice that made Jacob feel at home immediately. He began to recognize the old lady’s smile. She would sometimes join for dinner when Jacob was visiting his grandpa, along with this cranky guy in a wheelchair. 

Jacob could barely finish that thought before said cranky guy appeared. Bound to the wheelchair, accompanied by his groaning and grumbling, George rolled out of the living room.   
“Jake, eh? Took you long enough. Was about time someone showed up and started bringing us fresh crops again.” George’s tone was cold and spiteful. He took one look at the new farmer before turning around and heading back to the living room. The duality of Evelyn’s warmth and George’s coldness made them an odd pairing but, as they say, opposites attract. 

“Pay him no mind, dear. He’s still grumpy from the cold winter. We are really glad to have you here, why don’t you stay over for cookies and tea?” Evelyn continued, completely unphased by George’s rather rude appearance. Jacob knew he should have declined, since his farm still required some work. But who was he to say no to a lovely grandma offering cookies? They sat down in the kitchen and Evelyn masterfully prepared some tea, arranging the cookies delicately on a plate before putting them on the table. As she slowly sat down Jacob could hear her hips crack and, paired with the pained noise she made, he could gather that she was clearly no longer in her prime. But she still seemed to be full of love as she began telling stories of Jacob’s grandpa, George and her when they were younger. Jacob listened carefully as the chocolate chip cookies melted away in his mouth. He would have to ask her for her recipe at some point, although he was certain she would not give it up without a fight.   
“Dear Jake, how are you holding up in that house all alone, so far away from everyone?” Evelyn eventually asked, the worry audible in her voice.

“I actually quite enjoy the quiet so far. I don’t think I have ever slept this peacefully. But it is only day two, opinions may change,” he chuckled. “Oh, and I go by Jacob these days. Frankly, grandpa was the only one to ever call me Jake.” He was not sure why he felt the awkward need to correct her, but he might as well have done it now. 

“Oh, forgive me Jacob, I will try to remember that. It is more fitting of the grown man you’ve become.” And just like that, Evelyn managed to turn an awkward moment into a nice one. She had a gift like that, to make everyone feel at ease. Gus had mentioned it during lunch already. From the hallway, the sound of a door being opened and shortly after closed seemed to get Evelyn’s attention. 

“Alex dear, why don’t you come in here for a second? The new farmer came to introduce himself.” 

A tall man, probably in his early twenties, showed up in the kitchen. His brown hair styled to perfection, paired with a tight gridball varsity jacket that showed off his athletic build. He was playing with a gridball in his hands, throwing it from one hand to another. His green eyes seemed to inspect the farmer, if not judge him. He nodded at him; Jacob nodded back. Evelyn interrupted the tension. “Alex, this is Jacob. He took over Windflower Farm. Jacob, this is our grandson Alex. He has been living with us for, Yoba, has it been twelve years already?” 

“Leeching off us!” a voice from the living room shouted. “Should really get a proper job, like the farmer,” he added, quieter than the first part.   
Alex sighed, rolling his eyes before focusing on the farmer again. “Thought a girl would show up with for a farm named “Windflower”, but guess it’s one more dude for this small town, eh?” chuckled at his own comment. One sentence. One sentence was all it took for him to annoy Jacob already. The athletic man had an aura of arrogance surrounding him. He was clearly good looking but sadly, he knew it. Judging by the high school style varsity jacket, the jock probably peaked 3 years ago as star quarterback. Now he was just mooching off his lovely grandma. These were all notes Jacob would write about Alex once he was alone, but for now, Evelyn was carefully eyeing him to see how he would respond.   
“Windflower Farm was the name my grandpa gave it. Originally it was simply called “Miller Farm”, but he renamed it to my grandma’s favorite flowers after she died when my dad was still a child. Grandpa always made sure to have a small field of them in her memory.” A small “Aww” escaped Evelyn at the mention of his grandma’s death. They probably knew each other too. Jacob looked at the jock again. “A sob story and playing with his grandma’s feelings, bet you feel like a dick now for your comment, Alex” he thought to himself, a slight smile forming on his lips, awaiting a response. 

Alex just flashed a cocky smile. “Fair enough. I gotta go, see you around.” He had already turned around before he finished his sentences. “And tryouts are in the middle of the summer, soon I’ll be a star gridball player and I’ll pay you back for taking such wonderful care of me, gramps!” he said loudly as he left through the front door. 

“Didn’t even react to the sob story…damn this guy,” Jacob thought to himself. Something about the jock got his competitive nature out. He wanted to get along with the people here, but Alex made him want to knock the arrogance out of him. He would have done it physically had he not respected Evelyn as Alex’ grandmother (and Alex’ muscles as a reason to not consider violence). Instead, he would just have to break through with the guy using words. Jacob had a feeling their paths would cross more often, especially since he could see himself coming back for cookies and tea many more times. 

As he arrived back in his house later that day, he made sure to finish his notes on everyone. He noticed himself spending way too much paper on Alex, considering he had met the guy for a total of two minutes. Jocks always triggered his need for self-defense, ever since high school bullies gave him a reason to act that way. 

“Still got another hour or two of daylight, time to clean up some more,” he said to himself as he went outside again. Looking at the mountain of rubble and weeds, he knew he would spend many more hours, days and weeks on it.


	2. First Friendships

Jacob woke at 6 AM to the sound of his alarm clock, which would soon become his new normal. For now, though, it was still torture. Turning off the ringing noise seemed like an impossible task, with his muscles still aching from the work the day before. He raised his right arm and the pain stung from his elbow to his lower back like a thousand needles all at once. Gritting his teeth, he barely managed to make the noise stop. The next challenge of the day would be getting out of his comfortable bed and into his work clothes. He would skip the shower this morning, not planning on seeing anyone all day. The day would be spent spreading his seed on the freshly cleaned land. He furrowed his brows at the phrasing of his own thoughts, but it took his mind off the aching legs that he was now standing on. He bent over to pick up yesterday’s pair of jeans, some curses escaping his lips. With a few more curses and overly dramatic sighing, he managed to put them on. He decided a hoodie without a shirt beneath would have to do it for the rest of his outfit, not wanting to lift his arms over his head to put on a shirt. He washed his face in the kitchen sink while waiting for his toast. He eyed the protein powder on the counter and knew he had to try another shake, especially with the amount of manual labor that was waiting for him. This time, he decided to add some frozen berries he found at Pierre’s to it before putting it in a blender. The berries and the fake chocolate did not work well together, but the combined weirdness of it all masked the awful bitter taste of the artificial chocolate flavoring well enough. When he was done slowly eating his breakfast, an attempt at delaying the inevitable, he stepped outside into the sun. 

Jacob required more breaks than he was proud to admit. Tilling the ground would have been awkward to figure out even without his entire body refusing to do the necessary movements. But with the help of some painful stretches (and the eventual painkillers), he had prepared and watered his first crops by the end of the day. He wondered how his grandpa managed during his first week, but knowing the old man he had probably already charmed half the town into helping him. He was a beloved guy, the older generation of the town made sure Jacob knew that when he introduced himself. He could feel the expectations they had for him taking over his grandfather’s role. But those would be the worries of future-Jacob. Present Jacob was currently looking at the stairs leading to his porch wondering how he could defy gravity for the day. He stared at his front door, eventually beginning to laugh out loud at the misery he had allowed himself to feel. He chose this life. He had survived Joja, he could survive some stupid stairs. He may have groaned loudly with every step and cursed the builders of the house with words his mother better never hear, but he made it to the top and made his way straight to the bathroom. He needed a hot shower more than anything, and while the water temperature could not keep up with his expectations, physically washing away the filth seemed to clean his mind too. He put on underwear and made himself a sandwich, which did not last long against the appetite he had built up. He briefly considered making another one, but the act of sitting down to eat already made him consider never getting up again. He forced himself to get up one last time for the day as he dragged himself to bed, falling asleep within seconds. 

Waking up in the morning, he briefly thought about how he was just as exhausted as when he worked for Joja. Unlike those times, however, he did not spend hours lying awake in bed with his thoughts racing, a development which he appreciated.   
Getting out of bed was still a painful experience, but he managed to dress himself with more dignity today. He finished his morning routine and went out to water his crops. Lifting the heavy watering can had felt easier the day before, it must have used some muscles that he had not completely ruined yet. His mind drifted to the townsfolk, wondering how they would react to their new farmer having broken himself within three days of work already. He could imagine Lewis telling stories of Jacob’s grandfather doing the same, or Evelyn worriedly baking him a delicious cake to forget all worries. Alex would probably just make fun of how weak he was the way jocks do to people that did not live and breathe sports. 

“Well, at least I am not a leech!” He found himself saying out loud, almost yelling, as he finished watering the last few crops. He hoped no one had heard that, but a barking sound from in between the rubble and trees proved the opposite. What looked to be a golden retriever mixed with about seventeen other dog breeds came running up to him, tackling Jacob to the freshly watered ground. The dog did not seem certain if it wanted to lick his face or bark at him, alternating between the two in quick succession. Jacob looked at the dog confused, trying to figure out what had just happened. Gravity had betrayed him, surely in revenge for wanting to defy it the day before. The dog seemed to stop at the sound of a whistle, the tackler and the tackled both looking at the direction where it came from. Marnie came into view with a worried look on her face.

“Are you alright there? That looked like a rough fall” she asked, a hint of guilt in her voice. Jacob managed to push the dog off himself and get back to his feet, with the dog taking this as an invitation to scratch its sides against the farmer’s jeans.  
“The breath of the beast is strong, but not strong enough to keep me down. I didn’t know you kept dogs on your ranch too.” Jacob gave an awkward chuckle, the dog now trying to climb up on him.   
“I don’t. I found him at the border of our properties and figured it may be yours. Guessing he’s not then.” Marnie sounded a bit disappointed.

“It’s not, although I’m not sure it agrees.” As if to prove a point, the dog rolled over and seemed to demand belly rubs, allowing them to at least figure out that it was in fact a boy. 

“I guess I will have to put up a poster to see who lost their dog. Although I haven’t seen it around town before. Might just be a stray.” Marnie sounded defeated. He could tell she felt responsible for it now but judging by her body language she was wishing she was not. Before thinking about the long-term consequences, he began to speak. “I could take care of him. Could train him to be somewhat of a watch dog for future animals.” He was rubbing the dog’s ears now, who seemed to push into the touch, one of his hind legs twitching.

Marnie seemed relieved at that response, her tense shoulders relaxing. “Well then, congratulations on your first animal provided by my ranch. I will make sure the next one does not tackle you to the ground. Have you considered what you would like to keep yet?” She changed the topic from the dog to business with ease. 

“Maybe some chicken, definitely some goats and sheep. But first I’ll have to clean up everything here. Should give me enough lumber and stone for Robin to build me a nice barn. Or a mansion judging by…you know.” He gestured to the rest of the overgrown field. Plenty of resources, plenty of work to be done.

Marnie nodded and wished him a good day, making her way through the aforementioned mess. Jacob waved her goodbye and looked down at the dog. He would have to find him a leash and some food. Pierre’s might have had something, but for now, he improvised a leash from some rope, using the last bit of his knot knowledge from a year of Boy Scouts training. He tied the dog to his mailbox and went inside to write a note to be put on the bulletin board outside Pierre’s. When he returned, it was still just as excited as before. Jacob took it on his first walk to Pierre’s, surprised at how well the dog walked on a leash. It must have had a previous owner, or maybe it was too scared the rope would tighten around its neck. Of course, Jacob had made sure that would not happen, he was more scared of the dog escaping the leash. Together they arrived at Pierre’s without issues and Jacob attached the note to the bulletin board. 

“Golden retriever mutt found near Marnie’s ranch. Seems friendly and used to people. If it’s your dog, please come to Windflower Farm to get him. - Jacob” seemed to do the trick just fine.   
Jacob noted a strange note from Haley, asking for fish for girl reasons. He tried to imagine what that could possibly mean, but the sound of the door next to him saved him from the weird side of his brain. Lewis walked out of Pierre’s, acknowledging the farmer with a nod before noticing the dog. 

“Is it my old age or did you not have that dog when you first arrived?” the old man asked, scratching his head. 

“Marnie found him and brought him to me. You don’t happen to know who the original owner could be, right?” Jacob sounded hopeful but he doubted his chances. 

“I’m afraid not, but good luck, son.” Lewis said, patting one of Jacob’s shoulders before leaving. Jacob sighed and quickly tied up the dog outside the store, telling him to wait just a moment and that he would be right back. Being certain the dog did not understand a word, he entered the store trying to find some dog food and a proper leash. The dog food was easy enough, the leash was not. Pierre offered to order some dog equipment and Jacob gladly accepted. It would take about a week to arrive, but he would improvise until then. Leaving the store with the supplies packed away in his backpack, he untied the dog who had begun to chew on the improvised leash. As they began to walk back, he heard a familiar cocky voice yell out from behind him. “Hey, farm boy!” 

Jacob turned around to see Alex jogging up to him, wearing his trademark gridball jacket and playing with a gridball in his hands which the dog started eagerly eyeing. 

“Didn’t know you had a dog! Guess a proper leash cost too much after buying all the seeds?” Alex laughed at his own joke, while Jacob returned the smallest possible fake smile he could muster. 

“Just found the stray and Pierre didn’t have any leashes laying around. But I’m glad to hear you worry about my finances,” Jacob coldly replied. He made sure to stress the word “finances”, considering Alex was not one to tutor him about it. If the jock understood the implication, he showed no signs of a reaction. That bothered Jacob more than he cared to admit. He clearly wanted to get a reaction out of the other man, although uncertain as to why. Instead he just received yet another cocky smile.  
“May have one of Dusty’s old ones lying around, wait here.” Alex began to jog to his grandparent’s house; Jacob began to follow but the jock repeated “Wait. Here.” His voice was stern and impatient, resulting in an eye roll from Jacob and a small wince from the dog next to him. A few moments passed and Alex returned with a used grey leash in his hands. He handed it to the farmer, also tossing a treat to the dog. 

“Great, now he’s trying to show he’s a better dog owner too,” Jacob thought to himself, trying to keep a composed face. 

“Sorry for the rude tone before.” Alex said, much to Jacob’s surprise. “Just didn’t want your dog to get too close to Dusty’s pen. Old dog gets scared easily.” 

“Understood, thanks for the leash.” Jacob held up the leash as he said it, as if it had not been obvious which leash he was talking about. Now Alex had really showed who was the better dog owner. 

“No worries, see you!” The cocky man could have left it at that, but instead he also gave a friendly punch to Jacob’s sore shoulder. 

“By Yoba, the dumb jock doesn’t even know his strength!” Jacob thought to himself, focusing on neither showing a pained grimace nor rubbing the aching area. He did not want to give Alex any satisfaction. There was that ugly side of him again that came out whenever he encountered someone stronger than he was, which was way too often. Insecurity or childhood fears of bullies, he was not sure. He was not even sure if Alex would have felt satisfaction at hurting him. Judging by the gridball jacket, Jacob figured he would. But then again, he did not know the guy and a sweet grandma like Evelyn could not have possibly raised a bully, could she?

With the athletic man disappearing to the nearby dog pen, Jacob found himself pulling on the rope leash he was still holding. 

“Come on boy, let’s go home!” He tried to sound less defeated than he felt. The dog did not seem to notice, at least, excitedly wagging his tail as they walked to the farm. It was shortly past noon when they arrived at the front door. The excitement of the day seemed to make Jacob forget about how sore his body was, but the stairs to the door were there to remind him. He took the dog inside, taking off the rope leash. The mutt quickly began to scratch his neck with his hind leg. 

“The rope was itchy, wasn’t it? Let’s try this leash instead.” Jacob put on the proper leash and it seemed to fit well enough. It was definitely less dangerous than his boy scout knots, and the material would be less itchy. He took the leash off again, petting the dog’s neck. Jacob poured some dog food into a bowl and placed it down in front of the dog. Judging by the dog’s appetite, it must not have been fed in centuries. A vacuum cleaner would have done a slower and worse job than the dog did, who was now licking the bowl. Jacob added a bit more dog food and pet the dog once that food had disappeared too. 

“Well now you need a name. Something as vicious as your tackles, as legendary as your appetite, as nerdy as your temporary owner. How about Fenrir, the wolf god? Or just Fen. Fenrir is for when I’m disappointed you.” He continued petting the dog, who clearly did not understand a single word but seemed happy to be part of the conversation, nonetheless. 

“Well Fen, welcome to the family. Now if I talk out loud, I can at least claim I was talking to you.” A bark was the only response he got, but it was the only one he needed. He could use the company on this large farm. Something to explain the strange noises one begins to imagine when you are alone in the middle of nowhere at night, after you took over your grandfather’s farm and quit your well-paying job, despite having very little idea of how to actually run a farm. 

“Oh no, I’m going to spiral.” Jacob spoke with barely any emotion in his voice, but he could feel the anxiety building. Fen must have felt it too as it began to nuzzle into Jacob’s leg. Jacob was trembling, forcing himself to breathe calmly but failing immediately. He began to scratch his left hand, digging deeper and deeper, eventually drawing blood. 

“Stay in the moment, stay in the moment, don’t get carried away” he repeated to himself over and over again. A loud bark seemed to get him back on track. He looked down at Fen, tail wagging and not a care in his eyes. He noticed the blood on the back of his left hand, quickly wiping off the small cut he made with his own nails. 

“Guess I got myself an emotional support dog by accident,” he chuckled. The laugh was forced, but he figured it would be back to normal soon enough. These moments happened daily when he used to work at Joja. The panic was subsiding rapidly. Some more manual labor would make him too exhausted for his thoughts to begin racing again, a mindset that helped him through the rest of the day despite his body trying to fight it.   
As he was taking a water break, he remembered his plans for Friday evening with Abigail. He was looking forward to an evening of mindless fun and getting to know some more people around his age from the valley, except for one little problem. He now had a dog that he needed to take care of. He briefly considered dropping the dog off at Marnie just for the evening, but he doubted she would appreciate it. He looked over to Fen, who had made the porch his throne, or rather his bed. The dog was snoring gently, sleeping without a care in the world. He could not take the dog with him into the saloon, and tying him up outside would have been too close to Dusty. It also should not have to spend an evening waiting outside a house, listening to people having fun without it. Maybe he would just leave the dog inside the house, take him for a walk first so there would be no accidents. With a little prayer to Yoba, it might not completely tear apart the furniture in his absence. 

That was exactly what he did the next day. He took Fen for a walk around the farm, making sure to play fetch throughout the day to tire the dog out. It seemed to work well enough, since at sundown the dog had made himself comfortable underneath Jacob’s bed. Fen had slept there the night before, so that was a good sign he would remain quiet.   
Jacob filled up the dog’s food and water bowl and headed for the shower. While the lukewarm water helped wake him up in the morning, he still cursed the crappy old boiler. He would have to talk to Robin about it the next time he sees her.   
Freshly cleaned up, he put on the only nice shirt he took with him. A forest green button up that was slightly too large on him, but he bought it in the hopes of eventually fitting into it on his last attempt to keep up with a gym routine. He paired it with some blue jeans that were still clean and figured the outfit would do nicely. He looked like he cleaned up, but not like he was desperate to impress. Was he desperate to impress? He had to admit, he was not sure what his goals were for the evening. His competitive side wanted to win, his more reasonable side just wanted to have some fun and make friends. Yes, that was the side he’d listen to today, as much as his competitive side hated losing to reason.   
He locked the door behind him as he left. He did not really expect anyone to try and break into his house, but it was a habit of his time in the city. Fen did not seem to react to him leaving, which was a relief. He put on a light jacket and began to walk towards the city in the brisk early spring air. A bit less than half an hour later, he was standing in front of the saloon. He entered and saw it much livelier than it was when he had lunch on Tuesday. He recognized some of the faces, but not all of them. Leah was standing next to another person with long red hair, a man who must have been an artist too, judging by the style of clothes he wore. Jacob chuckled. He had seen many art students wearing the same outfits. An older bearded man approached them with a pitcher of beer and three glasses. He wore a tattered, dirty hat, but took it off before filling the first glass, gently putting it away in his jacket’s pocket.   
Jacob then noticed a guy in his thirties standing by himself, a bottle of beer in his hand and staring into nothingness with such intensity he feared the man’s eyes would break from the stress. He had dark circles underneath his eyes, the hair at his temples beginning to gray. Jacob wondered if the man was actually in his thirties, or if he just went through a rough patch. The stench of stale alcohol and lack of hygiene he caught a whiff of while passing him to get to the arcade machines seemed to indicate the latter. Nonetheless, Jacob wished him a good evening, the response merely a quick glance and a frown. 

Shrugging, Jacob looked over to the arcade machine where he could already see Abigail cheering on a blonde guy whose hair would best be described as tall and spiky. Jacob recognized him as Sam, Jodi’s son.   
“Hey Abigail, already warming up?” Jacob approached the two, not sure if a hug or a handshake was appropriate. He decided to wave and nod instead. Abigail did not seem to accept that choice, as she quickly pulled him into a hug.   
“Hey farmer, glad you could make it. I already told the guys you could kick their ass at the game.” She pointed at Sam with her thumb. 

“As if!” The man shouted from behind, quickly followed by the Game Over music. “Or maybe.” Sam chuckled as he stretched his arms over his head. He approached Jacob with an extended hand, smiling as he shook his. 

“Hey, I’m Sam. Pleasure to meet you.” His handshake was anything but firm, but Jacob could feel the calloused fingers. Remembering the guitar he noticed in Jodi’s house, he figured Sam must be the owner of the instrument. 

“Sebi will join a bit later, he texted me. He also told us to go ahead and eat already, so lowest score pays? That attempt didn’t count!” He quickly added the last part as Jacob glanced on the scoreboard, noticing a woefully bad score.   
“Fine by me, feel free to try again.” Jacob smiled as he said it, fighting the urge to add some trash talking. That would be reserved for next week if he was invited again. 

Sam went first, this round going slightly better than the last. He seemed to be a bit of a button masher, which was not the best strategy for this game. Eventually he got too greedy trying to collect a power up, running straight into an orc.   
“Dang it!” Sam yelled, making Jacob wonder if he was used to censoring his cursing so his younger brother would not pick it up. Sam stepped away from the arcade machine, pointing at Jacob.

“You go next. I already know Abi will beat that score.” There was a slight hint of sadness in his voice, no doubt the sign of lightly wounded pride. 

Jacob shrugged and approached the machine, first trying out the sensitivity of the buttons and the joystick. They were not the controls he was used to, but they would work just fine. He inserted a coin, and the game began with some easy waves of orcs. The beginning was a good warmup to get used to the joystick, and his old video game skills came back to him. He made it past wave after wave, beating Sam’s high score before he even lost a life. Some words of disappointment coming from behind him alerted him of that feat. From the corner of his eyes he could see Sam step away, walking towards the bar from what Jacob could tell. As he tried to look over to confirm, he heard the sound of losing his first life. Sam did look like he was ordering the food already. Jacob hoped gaining that knowledge was worth losing a life over. He chuckled to himself at how seriously he was taking this, trying to remember that he was here to have fun. 

He made it a bit further into the game, now realizing why the arcade version was known to be the harder one as the waves of enemies grew bigger and bigger. Eventually, he lost his third life and the score was blinking on the screen. He had almost tripled Sam’s and felt proud of his achievement. Abigail smiled at him and pushed him aside. 

“My turn!” She exclaimed, twitching from excitement. As she focused on playing the game, Jacob noticed she was slightly sticking out her tongue. He wondered what his own focused face looked like as Sam returned with nachos, fries and chicken wings, the perfect combination for a night of video games. 

“I should not have suggested the loser pays, but in case anyone asks, I just wanted to invite the new farmer to his welcome dinner.” Sam still tried to smile, and Jacob almost felt pity at how sad the loss had made the blonde. They waited for Abigail to finish before they started eating, notified by a loud “Oh, come on!” 

If she had managed to kill two more enemies she would have won, but luck was apparently on Jacob’s side. They all sat down to eat, with the two natives eager to tell Jacob some of the gossip in town. Once started, Abigail found it difficult to stop, it seemed.

“So anyways. During every festival Lewis always tries to be as close to Marnie as possible. And Penny said that Jas said that Lewis comes by for a business inspection every day. But according to Sebastian, his mom only gets a business inspection once every two weeks. So, something is up there!” She seemed eager to share her theories out loud.

“I heard Marnie’s voice in the background when I called Lewis about the farm a few weeks ago,” Jacob said between bites of nachos. 

“They are totally a thing!” Sam half-yelled, hitting the table with his flat hand to make up for the lack of volume in his voice. Jacob shrugged and eventually they all began to laugh. As is custom in a new company, the last nacho seemed to belong to no one. As everyone was trying to offer it to the others, an arm extending from a black sleeved hoodie took advantage and stole it. Jacob followed the hand to its owner’s face, a young man with longer black hair and black earrings who was now chewing the last nacho. He nodded at Jacob and for a briefest moment the latter wondered if the ghost of his emo past had come back to haunt him. 

“I’m sorry, applying eye liner was just so scary.” He found himself thinking, hopeful the ghost would understand.

Abigail broke him out of his thoughts by jumping up at the guy, squeezing him tight. Judging by her yelling, the man’s name was Sebastian, Robin’s son. He did not seem to enjoy the close physical contact as much as Abigail did, Jacob noticed as he tried to push her away. 

“Hey, no hugs before two beers. You know the rules, Abigail.” She blew a raspberry at him in response. Sebastian ignored her and looked at the farmer instead.

“And you must be the reason why Sam has sent me fifteen whiny texts while he was waiting for food. Sebastian.” He spoke with a very relaxed voice, no emotion to be found in it even as he was telling jokes. Jacob would have felt a bit unsettled if he did not consider the guy kind of cool at the moment. He did still enjoy the emo aesthetic, and the guy had saved them from the awkward problem of the last nacho. 

“Jacob. Pleasure to beat your friend for some free food.” He extended his freshly wiped hand, but Sebastian waved it away. 

“No handshakes before the first beer, I take it?” Jacob was trying too hard to say something funny. Abigail seemed to chuckle and so did Sam, even while brooding about his secret texts being revealed. Sebastian did not show a hint of a smile. 

“That’s correct.” Sebastian replied, stating it like the fact it was. 

“Noted, I shall get the first round then so we can have our proper introduction.” Jacob stood up and headed to Gus. When he returned with the beers, the three others seemed to be huddled together talking about something. 

“Hope I don’t interrupt” he stated, placing down the drinks which were eagerly grabbed by the others. They toasted to Friday nights as the took their first sips. 

“We were actually discussing if we should invite you again next week,” Abigail mentioned openly. Jacob appreciated that in her already, he had been scared the conversation was much meaner. 

“If you are interested, of course,” Sam added.   
“Unlike Abi you actually pay for drinks sometimes, and unlike Sam you are some competition at video games. I vote for you” Sebastian said calmly, his face revealing no emotion even when the other two began to complain about his statements. He now extended his hand to Jacob, who eyed it carefully. He was a bit confused but shook it anyways. Now Sebastian was smiling. It was only a slight curl of the lips, but it would be classified as a smile. Jacob chuckled a bit awkwardly, feeling like he had just underwent the initiation ritual in the nerdiest gang. Both Abigail and Sam were cheering, with the latter spilling a bit of beer on the table as he did so. He quickly tried to wipe it up with his sleeve, immediately regretting his choice as he could feel the stickiness of the liquid against his skin. 

“Why did I do that!?” The blonde exclaimed, standing up and now rightly grabbing the napkins next to him instead. 

“Congratulations, you already broke the guy’s mind” Sebastian said, looking down into his drink and taking a sip. He was hiding a smile, Jacob knew it. But him and Abigail were less prepared and began to laugh out loud, and even Sam joined shortly after. Sebastian seemed satisfied with that reaction as he placed his glass down. He tapped the table twice before raising the glass again. “To new friends” he said, holding up an almost empty glass. 

“To new friends,” the others joined. “And to buying the second round I guess, because I do sometimes pay for it” Abigail added with an overdramatic eyeroll, standing up. 

It was the last round of alcoholic beverages for Jacob since he still had to get up early the next morning for more farm work, but the evening was still young. They played many more rounds of Prairie King, mostly a competition between Sebastian, Abigail and Jacob with Sam cheering from the side lines. Eventually he suggested they play pool instead because he was much better at that game. He was not, as they found out. The one thing he was the best at, though, was actually making Sebastian laugh, often by clumsy accidents, but also with intentional witty jokes. Jacob had not managed to get more than a chuckle out of him, but he would keep trying, next week at the same time, and the week after too. 

When he arrived at his house, he opened the door slowly, expecting to find the house devastated by his new dog. Much to his surprise, Fen did not destroy anything. He did take advantage of being home alone by cuddling up in Jacob’s bed though. The sound of the door closing managed to wake him up, looking confused at first before figuring out the source of the noise. He quickly leaped off the bed and tried to tackle Jacob again. This time though, Jacob was prepared for a dog assault, although barely. He managed to regain his balance by taking a step back, his head narrowly avoiding hitting the door behind him. 

While nothing was broken, a farm dog does have the tendency to bring dirt into the house. Dirt, which was now on his bed. Fen apparently had the decency to stick to the bottom half of the bed, which was good enough for Jacob to not bother changing the sheets before heading to bed. As he laid down, he still had the taste of beer and nachos in his mouth. Clearly, skipping brushing his teeth would not work. He dragged himself out of bed and to the bathroom, while Fen did not bother following. Jacob looked at himself in the mirror as he was brushing his teeth. As he spat out the toothpaste and cleaned his mouth up, he looked a bit closer. He still had his bags under his eyes - those might never clear up if he keeps getting up at 6 AM - but his eyes seemed lighter. He looked happier than he did two weeks ago, which was not that hard, but it still added a bit more joy to his eyes. He could not remember the last time he played games with friends, since his few city acquaintances considered them childish. They would just sit around a table drinking beer and complain about work. The way he was feeling now, it might be difficult to ever catch up with those people, since his work did not feel worthy of any complaints so far. Every muscle in his body hurt, but it was all worth it when he saw that the first parsnip seeds had already sprouted. He felt like a proud dad who could not wait to sell or eat his children. Maybe he should wait a few more years before trying to become an actual dad, though, to make sure those feelings only applied to plants.

He made his way back to his bed, this time remembering to take off his shirt and pants too. He could feel Fen making himself comfortable against his legs, his head resting on them.   
“I guess this is your new spot now, buddy. Good night.”


	3. An Unexpected Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the third chapter of this story, with Alex and Jacob interacting a bit more. Thanks a lot to my editor who salvages the messiest of sentences. Of course, also a huge thank you to everyone who is actually reading this story :)

With the first week almost over, Jacob found himself getting into a daily routine. Breakfast with Fen, getting dressed, watering the crops. On Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays, he would go into the village to buy new seeds or chat with the townsfolk. On the other days of the week he would stay on the farm and clean up the fields, till them and plant new crops. On Friday evenings, he would meet up with Abigail, Sam and Sebastian in the saloon and play games. 

The next week flew by, and by the end of it, Jacob found himself harvesting the first few crops and selling them to Pierre’s. Well, most of them. He prepared two baskets with potatoes, green beans, parsnips and garlic, adding some red and purple tulips to one of them and keeping the other for himself. On Monday afternoon he took a break from his new schedule and, taking the basket with the flowers with him, headed for the town. Briskly walking past Harvey’s clinic and Pierre’s shop, he made his way to the residence of Evelyn and George. Jacob dusted some dirt off his pants and wiped his shoes on the doormat before knocking on the door. Slow footsteps approached and an always smiling Evelyn opened the door, pulling Jacob into a hug before even saying hello.

“Hello Mr. Farmer, what brings you to our humble home on this day? Please, come in! I baked some cake and it’s always best enjoyed in company.” She moved out of the way with a graceful bow, chuckling as she lowered her head. Jacob did not hesitate to bow back before entering.

“Thank you, my lady. I would tip my hat, but I seem to have forgotten it at home. I bring gifts instead, hoping a fresh offering from the farm will do. And I also come with the promise that I will stop talking like such a dork any second now.” He raised the basket and smiled at Evelyn, her eyes wide as she inspected its contents. 

“If you keep bringing me my favorite flowers, you can keep talking like that too! Oh Yoba, look how pretty they are.” She quickly hugged Jacob again before taking the basket from him and bringing it into the kitchen. Evelyn was Jacob’s favorite person in Pelican Town. He knew that within seconds of meeting her for the first time. Whenever he visited the town, he always made sure to go by to chat with her, even if just for a brief moment. The older woman seemed to enjoy the company and loved to share stories of Jacob’s grandpa, revealing how much he had meant to everyone in town. Jacob found himself smiling at Evelyn with appreciation and daydreaming about the stories she had already told when her yelling out focused his attention again.

“Alex, George dear. Are you joining for tea and cake?” Her voice was strained from the increase in volume yet still filled with kindness. An affirmative grumbling from the living room followed by the squeaking of wheels meant that George would join. The sound of a heavy object hitting the wooden floor followed by a door opening upstairs announced Alex. 

Jacob, already sat at the table in the kitchen, watched Evelyn carefully place the tulips in a blue tinted vase. She sniffed them with glee as she filled the vase with water, adding some powder that she assured would make them last longer. George entered the kitchen, curtly nodding in the farmer’s direction as he rolled up to his favorite spot at the table. Evelyn placed the vase in the middle of the table, admiring her work for a moment before starting to prepare tea and cake. 

George eyed the vase and Jacob could see the wheels turning in the old man’s head. The faintest curl of the lip betrayed that the old man was going to attempt a joke. Jacob braced for impact as George began to speak.

“Eve, you must be getting senile. Tea requires the herbs to be chopped more finely than this.” He motioned to the vase with a wheezing laugh, quickly turning into a cough. Jacob smiled politely, having feared something worse from a grumpy old man. He looked at Evelyn whose eye roll and groan indicated that this had not been the first time the joke had been told. 

“The only one senile here is my husband, who has told this joke a hundred times already!” She said with a smile on her face, walking over to George and planting a kiss on his temples. She turned back around to cut some pieces of cake as Jacob leaned in towards George.

“She forgot to boil the water first, too.” he said, loud enough for both of them to hear. “You should be worried.” George nodded as if it were a serious concern, while Evelyn chuckled a bit. 

“Don’t you two dare team up on me. You’re lucky you brought gifts, else you’d be getting only a small piece of cake.” Evelyn waggled her finger in the air and Jacob laughed at the innocence of that threat. A taller figure entered the door, wearing a white tank top that he might as well have avoided. Every bit of muscle the athlete sported was clearly visible through the shirt. Jacob could not help but stare a moment longer than appropriate, luckily unnoticed by Alex. 

“He keeps showing up and is now bringing gifts too? I believe the farmer is trying to steal my grandma.” Alex spoke with a smile on his face, approaching Evelyn and kissing her cheek. Jacob eyed the young man with a raised eyebrow before adding his input. As he was about to open his mouth, George spoke up.

“Well, he has officially paid more rent than you have, then. I say we keep this one.” His tone was serious, and while Jacob could not quite read the old man yet, it did not sound like a joke. He decided to ignore the comment and instead replied to Alex.  
“I have read plenty of books where the sweet older lady in a remote village is actually a powerful witch, so I’m trying to be on her good side just in case. And judging by how well she bakes, I suspect sorcery.”   
This time George laughed out loud, smacking the table as he wheezed “Burn the witch!” 

“Careful now or I’ll put both of you in a stew!” Evelyn laughed as she said it, elbowing Alex next to her. Alex flashed a quick smile, the kind that did not reach his green eyes, which revealed the hurt at George’s comment. Something about the pain he saw in Alex’ eyes made Jacob want to give him a bit of a win today. 

“By the way, Alex, thank you so much for the help with my dog again. Fen appreciated having an actual leash much more and I can take him on actual walks now.” Jacob’s words were rushed as if they needed to be told immediately to protect Alex, a feeling he did not expect from himself. The jock’s eyes seemed to light up a bit as he looked at him, mouthing something that the farmer identified as a “thanks”. The tension faded a bit as cake and tea was served, helped by George’s mouth being too full to make any more hostile comments towards Alex. The younger man seemed to glance towards Jacob a few times, always looking away when the glance was reciprocated. He eventually stood up, grabbing his empty plate and putting it into the dishwasher. 

“Gotta go back to working out. Thanks for the delicious cake, grandma. See you around, farm boy.” Alex spoke with his eyes averted, missing the reassuring smile Jacob tried to give him. After he left the room, Jacob tried to imitate his actions of putting away his dirty plate and cup only to be interrupted by Evelyn who promptly took over. He knew this was not an argument he would win, so he let the older woman take care of his dirty dishes. 

“Thank you from my side as well. That was a really good cake. If you ever need a magic apprentice, you know where to find me.” He smiled at Evelyn and hugged her goodbye, nodding at George before leaving. 

He made his way north, passing the abandoned community center, and began the small ascent up the mountain to Robin’s cabin. He knocked and entered as the sign on the door advised and immediately noticed the beautifully crafted interior. Standing behind a hardwood counter with intricate carvings in the front was Robin. She appeared to be working on a birdhouse, but quickly put it away when Jacob entered. 

“Hey, farmer Jacob! How can I help you?” Her voice was always surprisingly soft in comparison to her muscly stature. Jacob approached the counter, placing his hands on it.

“Hello, carpenter Robin. I was wondering if I could hire you to build me a barn for some goats?” He smiled politely as he spoke, taking in the craftsmanship in the room. 

“Sure, you could. Assuming it’s the same design that Marnie uses for her goats, with all the necessary modifications, it would cost you about 18000 gold. Is that alright?” Jacob was shocked by the number, even more by how casually Robin mentioned it. With his savings he could afford it, but that would leave him practically broke. 

“How much for a chicken coop?” He spoke through gritted teeth, trying to force a smile. 

“Oh, that would be about 5000 gold.” Robin seemed a bit confused by the change of his choice, raising her eyebrows at him.

“That would be good. Maybe the barn next year, then” he chuckled, knowing his favorite animal would have to wait a bit longer. He took off his backpack, digging in it until he found a rolled-up piece of paper. He removed it and placed it on the counter, unrolling it as he began to explain.

“Well, I got this layout of my farm. Could it fit over here?” He pointed with his finger next to a rectangle on his hand drawn map next to the broken-down greenhouse, a project he kept for next winter. Robin looked at the scale on the map and seemed to do some calculations in her head before nodding. 

“I already have a lot of lumber and stone from cleaning up the farm, so you won’t have to bring any raw materials at least” Jacob added, which seemed to be good news for Robin.   
“4000 gold then, should take me less than a week. I can start on Wednesday.” She extended her hand for a handshake to seal the deal and Jacob obliged. 

He began to head home, taking the shortcut to his farm down the mountain. As he reached the edge of the farm, he used his fingers to produce a loud whistle. The shrill sound gathered a response of rapid footsteps as Fen ran up to him. Bracing for impact, Jacob managed to avoid landing on the ground from the tackle. Together they walked to the house to take a break on the porch. Fen curled up beneath Jacob’s chair while the farmer took out his notebook and began to plan the rest of the spring. Getting bored of the task, he eventually put away the notebook and began to contemplate his farm instead. From the porch, he could see the cauliflower field and the second batch of the potato field he had prepared the day before. Two weeks ago both of those were overgrown with trees, but that changed thanks to his hard work. Even his body ached less from the physical exertion than it did before. Unfortunately, the tension in his shoulders revealed that it would be a while longer before his body got used to it. He removed his shirt, placing it in his lap, to get a better grip on his shoulder while trying to massage it. Closing his eyes, he tried to focus on the tensest spots and applied pressure, moving his arm while doing so to release some of the tension. Satisfied with one side, he continued with the other, plucking away a stray hair growing on his shoulder in the process. He began to hear a rhythmic noise from the east, but was too focused on his shoulder to identify it. Only when Fen barked once did it seem important enough to warrant his attention. It sounded like rapid and heavy footfalls getting louder and louder as if someone were approaching. Looking towards the direction of origin, he could see a sweat-drenched man wearing a familiar white tank top. The figure, identified to be Alex, seemed to be jogging right for the house. 

“Hey, farm boy!” he shouted out in between heavy breaths, his tank top almost see-through from the sweat, hair falling into his face and sticking there from the moisture. He wiped away some sweat from his forehead as he came to a halt in front of the stairs to Jacob’s porch. 

“Hey, runner boy! New jogging route?” Jacob automatically stood up, pointing to the chair he was sitting on seconds ago. He disappeared into the house for a moment to bring out a second one and a glass of water, placing the chair next to the one that Alex seemed to gladly take over. The athlete fell back into the chair with a relieved groan, taking the glass of water that was offered and drinking it in one steady motion. Jacob did not mind the musky smell of sweat-drenched Alex filling the air it as much as he thought he would. They stayed in awkward silence for a moment longer before Alex caught his breath enough to speak.

“I already ran my round before I realized I wanted to talk to you. Didn’t have your phone number so I ran to here instead. You live farther than I thought, this was rough!” the man exclaimed, using his shirt to wipe away some more sweat, which revealed the abs underneath. Jacob was now painfully aware of his lack of shirt next to the much stronger guy. Instead of staring, Jacob went inside again to fill up a jar of water and brought out a towel. He threw it at Alex who managed to catch it with ease, immediately using it to wipe off some more sweat. Jacob used the distraction to put his own shirt back on. 

“Living on a farm is a workout, even just walking to town. You should really consider it as potential training.” Jacob joked, hoping the green-eyed man next to him did not notice his insecurities. He looked at Alex, who was now refilling his glass of water, before he resumed speaking.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” he asked without looking at Alex. Instead, he took out his notebook again and ripped off a bit of paper, writing his phone number on it. Alex seemed to hesitate, thinking how to best start the conversation. He had the same focused face George did, the gears clearly turning and the relation between the two blatantly obvious.

“I… No problem. For the leash, I mean. I didn’t say it back there and it was bothering me.” Alex was biting his lower lip, staring at the floor with intensity. 

“Let me get this straight. You ran all the way out here, after you already did your round, just to say no problem?” Jacob replied, leaning back into his chair and stretching his arms behind his head. Alex looked over at him, teeth still on his bottom lip and shook his head.

“No…No, that wasn’t it. After you left, grandpa said he was proud to hear that I helped you out. That’s the first compliment he has given me since I finished high school. He would not have done that if you had not brought it up. It felt…good.” Alex spoke slowly. Every word seemed to be carefully chosen. He could not hold eye contact while speaking, instead opting to look at and pet Fen, who had begun sniffing the athlete’s legs. Jacob could sense the man was not quite done, so he waited instead of trying to come up with a reply. After another moment of silence he was proven right.

“I’m sure you’ve wondered why I live with my grandparents. My father was not a good man. He used to drink and…” Alex hesitated, biting his lower lip again. Looking at the tension in the younger man’s jaw, Jacob was surprised to not see any blood pooling. Alex began gripping the edge of his chair, knuckles turning white from the force. 

“He was not a good man when he was sober. He was even worse when drunk. He did not treat my mom well, nor me. He would tell me how useless I am, how I would never accomplish anything. He couldn’t even get a job himself, my mom had to work two jobs just to keep us afloat. She fell ill when I was 8, died when I was 9. My father still refused to get a job or step up, so my grandparents took me in instead. Haven’t heard from him since. He never even checked if I was alive.” His voice was shaky now, something both Fen and Jacob noticed. The dog put his head on Alex’ lap, looking at the man with big puppy eyes. Jacob instinctively placed a hand on the athlete’s sweaty shoulder, not minding the stickiness. 

“So I grew up here instead. And my grandparents are great and loving and I am so grateful. But since I finished high school, grandpa has gotten increasingly more hostile with me, often talking like my father would. Back in his day, people got a job straight out of high school and he cannot understand why I don’t have one. But there are no jobs here, not really.” For the first time since he began to speak, Alex looked at Jacob. The green eyes were blurry, tears forming in them but quickly wiped away with the towel.   
“What kind of job would you like?” Jacob asked carefully, not quite sure how to respond to all the revelations. Luckily, Alex seemed to light up at that question.

“I want to be a pro gridball player! I was a star player in high school, but missed the tryouts for the Zuzu City Tunnellers because of exams. And then the next year I missed them because of a stupid injury because I trained too hard. And now this year I’m going to try again.” His face was determined, a smile forming on his lips as he looked at Jacob. 

“You got big dreams there, guess I will have to grow some more protein heavy crops to help with your training.” Jacob chuckled and squeezed the hand he had placed on Alex’ shoulder. A kind gesture that began to feel a bit too awkward to continue with someone he barely knew, so he pulled his hand away, placing it in his own lap. Alex began to blush, wiping his eyes once more. 

“I’m sorry. I just ran up here and dumped all of that on you. Wow, how pathetic.” A clearly forced laughter filled the air as Alex tried to stand up. Jacob’s hand shot out, grabbing the white tank top and pulling the man in it back down to his chair. His face was stern as he looked into Alex’ green eyes, who seemed to be confused in response.

“You are clearly a determined and hard-working guy. You would not look nearly half as big if you weren’t. Don’t ever call yourself pathetic. The voice in your head that makes you feel that way? Just the memory of an abusive monster that was incapable of loving his own child. It’s not a voice worth listening to. Neither is the grumpy voice of a guy who probably hasn’t had a dream of the future in decades. I may be the new guy here and may not understand all the intricate details of the villagers of Pelican Town, but I know a thing or two about abusive assholes trying to control you. Why do you think a guy in his mid-twenties would throw away a career in the city to start a farm, if not to escape from someone like that?” His voice was harsher and louder than intended, but it seemed to find hold in Alex’ ears, who began to nod.

“Sorry, it’s just...I only ever told Haley and she’s my best friend. You’re the new farm guy and I don’t even know you. I just ran here and began rambling about my problems.” Alex stammered, eye contact appearing to be difficult for him again. Jacob rolled his eyes in response.

“If you gotta talk, you gotta talk. It’s really no big deal and I enjoy the company here sometimes. Feel free to run over here more often, but next time with a heads up.” Jacob handed Alex the piece of paper with his phone number on it.   
“Just so you don’t run into me while watering the crops naked. You never know.” He winked, trying to joke to calm Alex down again. 

“Why would you water the crops naked?” Alex asked, having clearly missed the joke component of those words.

“Well you see, my body came with a water hose… Never mind, I was trying to joke.” Jacob began to rub his temples, regretting his words immediately. Alex pocketed the slip of paper, too deep in thought to listen much to Jacob’s relief. 

“Okay, I’ll text first next time. Thanks again. Gotta go, didn’t tell grandma where I went. See you, farm boy… Jacob.” Alex waved and began to jog away before he heard a response, never looking back as he left the farm.

“Well, that was weird and awkward. Right Fen?” Jacob snipped his fingers, getting the attention of the dog who just looked at him in confusion. “But hey, I was able to be in his presence without wanting to start a competition. Progress, buddy, progress. C’mon, let’s prepare dinner.” Jacob grabbed the dirty dishes and towel that Alex used, giving it a quick sniff and wrinkling his nose. 

“And do laundry.”


	4. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Jacob are interacting a bit more in this chapter. Jacob has a very low tolerance for bullshit in this chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

While Jacob was not a naturally gifted carpenter, he had picked up enough things from his more manually gifted father to help Robin with the coop, thus finishing the entire thing in three days. Fen, ever the guard dog, watched the entire thing carefully, using every water break as a chance to get some more ear scritching and belly rubs. Robin and Jacob looked at the finished product with pride, Robin already discussing future potential projects for the farm.   
“What are your weekend plans?” she eventually asked him while putting away her tools. 

“Just farmer things so far, taking care of the new chickens, potentially. What about yours?” He responded.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed the eyesore that we call our community center. I asked Lewis to provide the materials, but I’ve been wanting to remodel that thing for years. Well, with the kids being self-sufficient these days, I finally have the time. Clint will be helping me sometimes, which is nice as long as he stays quiet. Good craftsman but horrible at holding a conversation, that one.” She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. Jacob had only talked to the man twice so far, once to have him explain that he can upgrade and fix his tools, and the other time to tell Jacob he would have to go down into the mines to grab the required ores himself since the blacksmith was apparently too lazy to do so. Jacob had inquired about ordering them, but swiftly reconsidered when he heard the shipping prices. 

“I may get bored on Sunday, mind if I show up and help a bit?” Jacob asked. He had enough physical work in his life already, but he liked the idea of remodeling something. Building the coop had been unexpectedly enjoyable, and Robin seemed to be overjoyed at the offer.

“Someone that can hit a nail and hold a conversation? I’m interested, but I hope you know there’s no money in the work.” 

“But I get some convincing arguments if I ever need something from Lewis. Also, I don’t have any plans beyond hanging out with your son and his friends on Friday evening. Should I try to drag them along?” Jacob had spent the first day of coop building listening to Robin talk about how wonderful she found it that Sebastian and he got along.

“Yoba, no. He’s good with tech but can’t tell a hammer and a saw apart. And if I invite all the kids aside from him, he’s going to feel left out and insist on helping and end up just giving us more work.” Robin chuckled, running her hands through her hair to get rid of some sawdust. 

“Ouch, kids? They’re less than 5 years younger than I am!” Jacob dramatically put a hand over his heart, grasping at his chest as if it were breaking.

“Hey now, I’ve known them since they were toddlers. I will never see them as anything else.” Robin wiped her hands on her jeans, giving everything a final glance. 

“Well then, I got all my stuff. If you find something, be a dear and bring it over when you get the chance. I’ll send you the bill in the mail. Have a wonderful evening, and please make sure Sebastian does not get too wasted tomorrow.” The plea in her voice revealed the memory of plenty of mornings - well, afternoons, with a grumpy, hungover Sebastian. A reassuring smile and nod from Jacob seemed to be enough of an answer as she turned around to leave. He waved her goodbye before taking out his phone from his right pocket. A disappointing lack of messages from Alex stared back at him, almost taunting.

“What do you think, Fen? Is he alright? I may have to visit tomorrow to check in on him. Nothing scarier than a buff guy left alone with his feelings.” Talking to his dog had become more common than just keeping his thoughts within his own head. Fen yawned in response and wagged his tail. While he never understood anything other than “food” and “walks”, he seemed to enjoy being involved in conversations. 

“Yes, Fenrir, I know I kinda want to hate the guy for being more handsome and stronger than me and for the whole jock-bully trauma thing. But he also revealed some vulnerability and you know I’m a sucker for a tragic backstory.” Fen tilted his head to the right, then to the left.

“Don’t judge me. I saw you licking your own genitals the other day. You really need to get off your high horse, Fen.” The four-legged roommate approached Jacob and scratched his leg with his right paw, the sign of demanding to be pet. Jacob obliged while rolling his eyes. 

“Yes, I have issues. You’re wise beyond your years and I’m thinking way too much about a single conversation. People are dumb like that sometimes.” 

\---

Friday morning, Jacob made his way south through the part of his farm that was still untouched and overgrown. Another ten-minute walk past the edge of his property and Marnie’s ranch was right in front of him. He could see Jas skipping rope while singing nursery rhymes to herself near the cow barn. He waved over to her and wished her a good morning, the little girl just giggling in response and carrying on jumping, her pink dress bouncing along with her. Even from this distance, he could tell Jas liked playing in the grass by all the stains on her dress. Approaching the door, he noticed the handle lowering and the door slowly opening, laughter escaping from the inside. A familiar green-shirted old man appeared, surely up to anything but his mayoral duties. Lewis seemed to jump at the sight of the farmer in front of him. 

“Farmer Jacob, it’s a pleasure to see you on this fine morning. Just finished my early morning business inspection, as you can see.” The old man cleared his throat, trying to maintain his composure, which seemed to break quickly as Jacob put a hand on his shoulder and leaned in to whisper in his ear.

“Mayor Lewis, a woman like Marnie surely deserves better than a secret relationship, don’t you think?” It was too early in the morning for Jacob’s filter to be adjusted to dealing with people in power, even as little power as being the mayor of a small town like Pelican Town. Flustered and blushing, the man shook the farm boy’s hand off his shoulder. “I beg your pardon. I am not sure what you’re talking about. Good day.” were the last words he spoke before quickly hurrying away.   
“Bye, Uncle Lewis!” Jas shouted after him, resulting in him accelerating his pace even more and a lack of response towards the little girl.

“Strange old man, eh?” Jacob smiled at Jas, who just seemed to giggle even more at the situation. Once inside, the business went quick. Marnie was oblivious to what happened outside, and Jacob quickly left with two hens in a cage, a brown and a white one.   
Back at the farm, he presented them to Fen to let him get a sniff. 

“Meet Hen, the hen. And her best friend Ben, the brown hen. I will not hear any complaints about how Ben is a boy’s name and not a girl’s name. You will hereby swear to protect these two chickens with your life. Show your agreement by being a cute dog. Just like that, thank you.” With the introduction out of the way, he let them out of the cage inside the coop. He filled up the feeders and watched his two new purchases explore their new surroundings. After a while, he left the coop and closed it behind him, returning to the rest of his farm duties. The ground was still wet from a slight rainfall during the night, saving him the time it takes to water his crops. Saving time with the crops only meant more time to clean up this week’s segment of the farm. Chopping down trees and reducing them to small enough logs he could carry away had quickly become his least favorite part of owning a farm. Not only was it tedious work that seemed to never end, his hands were also covered in blisters and scratches from it. The days passed painfully slow, both figuratively and literally, whenever he spent them cleaning up. 

After carrying away the remains of the sixth tree of the day, the sun beginning to set, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He forced himself out of his work gloves, took it out and looked at the time, realizing he would have to hurry taking Fen for a walk if here wanted to make it in time to the saloon. The next thing he noticed was a text from an unknown number. Judging by the signature at the end, it was Alex’ number.

**Alex 5:54 pm:** “Hey. Got time tonight for me to come over and chat? Got a longer run planned. - Alex”

**Jacob 5:55 pm:** “Wish I did. Got plans with Abi, Sam and Sebi at the saloon tonight. Wanna join and play some pool?” 

**Alex 5:55 pm:** “Nvm.”

“Ouch, period at the end. He must hate the saloon.” Jacob found himself saying out loud, Fen nowhere near enough to pretend he was talking to him. A faint headache was beginning to build from the tension of his back, so he started heading to the farm to hydrate before walking around the farm with his dog. A quick shower, a painkiller and an outfit change later, he was out the door heading towards the saloon. 

Walking past Dusty’s pen, Jacob noticed Alex putting a leash on the older dog and leading it through the gate. It was walking with a slight limp, its eyes on Alex the whole time, a sign of trust, its tail wagging faintly, almost pulled between its legs. The jock noticed Jacob approaching, but quickly looked away and pulled on the leash to make Dusty walk faster. 

“Hey Alex! Everything alright?” Jacob was too fast for Alex to escape in time, now standing right next to the brown-haired man and his dog. Nonetheless, Alex still avoided eye contact and nodded.

“Yeah sure. Just enjoy your evening, see you around.” There was aggression in his voice, or was it frustration? His grip around the leash tightened, his teeth pressing against his bottom lip. Jacob was taken aback by the response.   
“Okay then, I will. What exactly is going on right now?” he replied, uncertain of the source of negativity. 

“Nothing, just go enjoy your drinks.” Alex’ got louder as the sentence went on. He pulled on Dusty’s leash again and the dog followed as he turned around and left. A groan escaped Jacob’s mouth as he turned around to walk to the saloon. His friends had already gathered around the pool table, playing their first round. 

“You’re late, farmer. Means you owe us dinner.” Abigail stated as she hugged him hello. Sam and Sebastian nodded while waving. 

“Pizza it is, then.” Jacob tried to smile, but his encounter outside was clouding his mind. When he returned with two pizzas, one with peperoni and one with pineapple for Abigail, his friends made it clear they knew something was wrong.   
“What did your god of wolves break today, Jacob?” Sebastian asked, always teasing Jacob about the name he gave his dog. 

“Nothing, he’s a good boy. And stop making fun of his name. Your mother asked me to prevent you from getting too wasted tonight, I will make sure you don’t get wasted at all if you keep making fun of me.” Again, Jacob tried to smile but his attempt at a joke came out more hostile than intended. Sam furrowed his brows and spoke with a lowered voice. 

“Is everything okay? Did we do something wrong?” He looked to Abigail and Sebastian, who both shrugged in response. This time, Jacob managed an authentic smile. 

“No, by Yoba, you three are awesome. Well, you did make me buy pineapple pizza, which is very controversial. I just had a run in with Alex outside. Few days ago, he shows up at the farm talking like we’re buddies and today he treats me like I slapped Evelyn and pushed over George.” Abigail put an arm over Jacob’s shoulders as he was speaking, pulling him close. 

“Oh buddy, don’t let that guy ruin your day. He’s a bit of a loner - not for lack of trying on our end. He kinda pushes people away, that’s his thing. Good at playing gridball, not at making friends.” Sam and Sebastian agreed with the statement, and Jacob tried to as well. But after his conversation with Alex on Monday, things did not seem to be quite as simple. They ate the pizza while continuing their game of pool. Jacob spectated on the sidelines staying quiet. He could feel the headache returning already as he kept glancing out of the window at Dusty’s pen. The last piece of pizza had been long gone, two more rounds of pool completed when one of the glances caught a hint of a green varsity jacket. Jacob turned to his friends and cleared his throat, a grimace on his face.   
“Hey guys, I’ve been having a headache for a while and with my mood being a bit tense. I think I’ll call it an early night. Don’t worry, Sam, I’ll kick your ass next week again. Have a good evening!” He felt like a dick running off because of a guy he talked to once for longer than five minutes. After three years at Joja, he was not in the mood for any bullshit and he wanted to understand what was going on. Even Sebastian hugged him goodbye that day, whispering in his ear as he did. 

“Don’t let that guy get to you. It’s not his fault he’s like that.” Jacob nodded in response, knowing he had already failed. He turned and left the saloon, speed-walking towards the dog pen outside. He saw Alex sat down on the floor in the pen with his knees pulled to his chest, Dusty next to him just enjoying the proximity. Jacob leaned over the fence, not yet noticed by the gridball player. The dog, on the other hand, heard the creaking of wood and eyed the farmer suspiciously. Jacob dug in his pockets for some dog treats he was keeping for Fen and tossed it one.

“Hey Dusty, I’m gonna have to kidnap your owner to have a conversation. Hope you don’t mind. But if he doesn’t follow, he will have to explain to his grandmother why the farmer with the kind eyes doesn’t come to visit anymore and stopped bringing fresh vegetables and beautiful tulips.” Jacob’s eyes moved from Dusty to Alex, raising an eyebrow, his face only illuminated by a nearby streetlamp. The jock got up, dusting off his jeans, his eyes fixated on Jacob who was already walking away, waving for him to follow. Alex looked at Dusty before sighing loudly, getting up and walking behind Jacob without saying a word. He followed the new guy to the front of the run-down community center. Jacob was sitting down on the stairs leading to the front door. He motioned for Alex to sit next to him, his face making it abundantly clear he wouldn’t take a no as an answer. Rolling his eyes, the jock obliged, ripping some leaves from the bush next to him. He began to rip away tiny parts and throwing them to the ground in front of him. For a moment, the two just sat next to each other in silence. Alex’ frustrated breathing got louder and louder until it climaxed in four words.

“What do you want?” the jock sounded frustrated and pained. He ripped off more leaves to destroy while waiting for a response. Jacob turned his head towards him, tension on his face.

“To figure out why I deserve this behavior from you.” Alex huffed out more air in response, but Jacob continue. “So, let’s establish some ground rules for communication. If I say something that upsets you, you immediately interrupt me and tell me so. I want both of us to walk away happier from this conversation and that requires some honesty and painful vulnerability. Much like the conversation we had at the farm, okay?” Jacob tried to remember how often he has had these conversations. When friends would inexplicably give him the cold shoulder treatment, he was always the one to take the first step towards healing the relationship, and he was growing tired of it. 

“Okay” was all Alex could muster for now. 

“What did I do to upset you today? It was not my intention and I want to know what to apologize for and what to avoid in the future.” Jacob was trying his hardest to keep his voice calm, his words rational despite his frustration at the situation. He found himself copying Alex in destroying leaves. 

“Have you been drinking today?” Alex spoke quietly, almost whispering. Jacob began to realize where this conversation was going. 

“I have not. I left the saloon before anyone even offered to buy me a drink. And I only drink more than two beers after a breakup, which I did not consider our encounter to be.” Alex glanced over at that statement, before resuming the destruction of another leaf.   
“Good. I don’t like it when people drink.” His tone was getting less and less frustrated, but sadder. Jacob looked over at him with a furrowed brow.

“Because of your father, right?” Jacob asked, briefly considering placing a hand on Alex’ shoulder. Alex only nodded in response. 

“I understand it, believe me. I’m sure you rationally understand that you cannot decide what people drink and what they don’t. But if it would make you feel more comfortable, I can try to avoid talking about alcohol and keep my distance if I did have a drink or two. Would that be good?” Now Jacob could not stop himself from placing a reassuring hand on Alex’ shoulder. The man seemed to twitch at the touch, but did not complain, even leaning into it as he nodded in response. 

“What your father did to you is despicable and unforgivable. He abused a substance that others merely use as a social lubricant, but it is a slippery slope. I promise, you will never see me drunk.” Alex seemed to relax at those words. 

“Thank you.” Alex whispered, his voice shaking. His body seemed to tremble too. 

“Sorry for being such a dick about it.” Difficult to make out in the dark, Jacob thought he saw a tear run down the guy’s face but knew better than to bring it up. Instead, he just tightened the grip on the guy’s shoulder.   
“We all have those moments. I have been the other person in conversations like this before, too. I just want to establish that you can freely talk about your problems with me. It’s more productive than just letting the other person figure out what’s wrong.” Jacob let the silence hang in the air for a moment before continuing. 

“What did you originally want to talk about when you texted me?” The question was innocent enough, but Jacob was aware of how much weight the resulting conversation could have. It was made clearer by every second that Alex hesitated to answer. The silence was only interrupted with the sound of another leaf being ripped, then another, then another. Jacob could hear Alex trying to calm his breathing, giving him the time to do so. 

“You’re good at this…The whole talking thing.” Alex began to speak. Jacob was unsure if it was an honest compliment or an attempt to further delay the answer. He squeezed the athlete’s shoulder again to confirm he heard the statement.  
“Grandpa yelled at me again. Told me I never do anything around the house, that I’m just working out all day and don’t use my muscles for anything smart. Not my fault no one ever taught me how to fix the sink or a leaking roof. I’m just so tired of it all and can’t talk to anyone about it. I feel so weak and stupid because I cannot even handle an old man. And of course, my first reaction is to beg you for help.” Alex burrowed his face in his hands, his fingers gripping onto his hair. Jacob had to chuckle at the athlete’s worries. He knew they were valid and to be taken seriously, they had just caught him off guard. Alex looked at Jacob in shock, standing up. 

“You know, maybe I was wrong. Sorry for bothering you.” Alex said through gritted teeth, not anger but fear in his voice, surprisingly. Jacob immediately shot up, grabbing the much bigger man and pulling him into a hug.   
“I wasn’t laughing at you, you dork. I was laughing at how wrong I was about you when I first met you.” He squeezed Alex a bit tighter, who, in his confusion, lifted his arms up and reciprocated the hug. 

“Let’s go through this step by step, okay? First of all, you’re not begging me for help at all. In fact, I straight up had to force you to accept it. Secondly, you could totally handle the old man but he’s your grandpa and you treat him with respect, because he’s family. Even though he may not have actually earned all the respect, blood relations make us give people undeserved exceptions. Third, I may have good news for you. Something productive to do, that will teach you how to fix things around the house and that is a good deed so not even grumpy George can complain. Robin is planning to fix this community center in her spare time. I offered my help on Sundays, Clint helps on Thursdays. We could use the extra muscle.” Jacob released the awkwardly long hug, looking straight into Alex’ green eyes. 

“You are good at this talking thing. Thanks…Seriously, thanks for everything. That would be a good way to spend my weekends. And if the gridball thing does not work out, I guess I can become a carpenter apprentice under Robin. Use the muscle, as you said.” Alex’ body language changed significantly the more he spoke. His spine straightened, he held his head higher, his chest pushed out with more confidence. He seemed so small, curled up in Dusty’s pen earlier, but now Jacob realized for the first time that the athlete was half a foot taller than him. 

“If you want, I’ll try the talking thing on George next, big guy. I feel like I’m close to breaking through that grumpy exterior. The witch joke really got him.” Jacob punched the other man’s shoulder lightly. 

“Leave me some dignity and let me fight some fights by myself, at least. Sorry for being such a dick to you earlier.” Alex’ eyes seemed much brighter than before. The younger man seemed to tremble again, but this time with energy and anticipation. Jacob wiped away some torn-off leaves from his own pants before pointing out some on Alex’ jeans. 

“One more apology about being a dick, and I’ll punch you in yours, dork. I said it’s fine. Sunday, 9AM in front of this building. If you want to thank me, bring some of Evelyn’s cookies.” Jacob extended a hand, smiling at Alex. The gridball player grabbed it and gave it a firm handshake, Jacob now painfully aware of all his blisters again. 

“You’re pretty cool for someone that hangs out with nerds.” Alex said nonchalantly during the handshake. While Jacob could maintain a poker face through physical pain, the comment made him pull a grimace. 

“We will unpack that statement another day. I have a bed that awaits me. Good night, Alex.” Jacob left with a wave, Alex staying behind at the community center for a while longer. 

At home, Jacob brushed his teeth, took off his jeans and shirt and dropped into bed. The tension headache was gone, no doubt thanks to resolving the problem with Alex. He plugged in his phone on his bedside table when it began to vibrate. He pulled up his blanket to his neck before checking the message.

**Alex 10:14 pm:** “Grandpa liked the idea with the community center, said he was proud. Thanks again. I owe you.”

**Jacob 10:16 pm:** “We’ve been through this. Cookies. Good night, big guy.”

**Alex 10:16 pm:** “Good night, farm boy.”


	5. One Rainy Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading this far! I hope you're still enjoying Jacob's life on the farm.
> 
> Fair warning for this chapter, there is a (tiny) smutty scene towards the end.

Sunday came around with light rainfall and ever aching muscles from cleaning up the farm and yesterday’s harvest. A perfect day to stay inside - if only Jacob did not have other plans. He allowed himself to sleep an extra hour, but the second alarm clock seemed to be quite persistent at reminding him that it was time to get up, scratching at his legs and whining to be let out. Fen was looking at Jacob with his best puppy eyes while the farmer could not have been more tempted to hide away underneath his blanket. Fortunately for the dog, his owner had enough of a guilty conscience to make his way out of the bed to the front door. Fen rushed outside, jumping off the stairs to relieve himself on the nearby mailbox before turning around to run back inside. Jacob observed the dark grey sky. A refreshing breeze dried off the sweat that had built on his bare chest during sleep, resulting in a slight shiver. As he was washing his face in the sink, he briefly considered texting Robin that he would not make it to the community center today. The cold water, however, helped him start forming coherent thoughts and he remembered that they would not spend the day by themselves. He caught his reflection in the mirror, smirking at the prospect of Alex being left alone with Robin. He wondered who would win in an arm-wrestling contest, Robin’s functional strength or Alex’ mountains of gym muscle. He would not put it past Robin to fight dirty, which was all the more reason to not leave her hanging today.  
Jacob’s phone vibrated shortly after he left the house. He leaned over his phone as he pulled it out to prevent the rain from hitting the screen. 

**Alex 8:37 am:** “Chocolate chip or blueberry”  
 **Jacob 8:37 am:** “Both? Chocolate, if Evelyn is holding you at gunpoint.”  
 **Alex 8:38 am:** “Why would she”   
**Alex 8:39 am:** “Okay bringing both”

Jacob was unsure if he should start training Alex to understand jokes or just enjoy the man’s confusion. Maybe Alex played dumb to make him feel awkward. He would have to test it one day. Either way, he was looking forward to something sweet on such a gloomy day. While the calendar revealed only one more week of spring, the weather had not warmed up yet. It was something that annoyed Jacob at first; the cold had never been his friend. But all the physical work made him sweat enough during the spring, so he could hardly imagine what summer would bring. He had plans for a sharper axe, which would involve digging in the mines for ore and then talking to Clint. He shuddered at the thought of talking to the blacksmith more than the dark and dank caves. A familiar deep voice asking him if everything was alright shook him from his train of thought and made him realize his feet had carried him all the way to the community center. Jacob pulled back his hood to get a better look, noticing the same green gridball jacket as always. He nodded and smiled at Alex, some raindrops hitting his face as he finally looked up.

“Feeling as beautiful as the weather. Do you ever wash that jacket, or do you just put it on and stand in the rain?” He pointed at the mentioned jacket as if Alex could not figure it out on his own, as he noticed the unreasonably large box of cookies the jock was carrying. 

“Can’t risk the wash ruining it. Rain is clean, right?” Alex’ concern appeared to be real, but 9AM on a Sunday was not the time to explain the effects of pollution on the water cycle. Luckily, Yoba seemed to agree as Robin approached like a red-haired guardian angel. She nodded at the two men standing in the rain, carrying two toolboxes that looked like they were almost bursting. 

“You brought company?” Robin asked breathlessly, sounding like she was already done with the day. Jacob could not tell if she was unhappy at the company or the weather. 

“Bodyguard. Won’t let you dispose of my body underneath the floorboards of the new community center that easily.” Jacob pushed his elbow into Alex’ ribs, the taller man seemingly barely noticing while Robin laughed out loud.   
“Lots of violence on your mind today, farm boy,” Alex whispered, leaning down to a chuckling Jacob. 

“I don’t think I need to introduce you two. Alex didn’t have anything better to do and we could use the extra hands. Well, so I say, I actually have no idea what your plan for today is.” Jacob raised both eyebrows with his toothy smile and Robin reciprocated.   
“He will come in handy. Today we will need to demolish a lot of old furniture and break in some walls that are not load bearing. We’ll rebuild them later, but some of the wood is rotten and it’s easier that way. Additionally, we’ll need to clean up. Let’s go in and take a look instead of standing out in the rain.” She nodded towards the entrance door, which Jacob promptly opened with a bit of force after experiencing resistance.

“The hinges will need to be oiled, I guess,” he said, looking at Robin whose lips curled downwards. 

“No, the door was locked. The lock was just already practically broken. Entirely broken now.” She pulled a grimace that found its way to a smile, stepping past Jacob and Alex inside the community center. The inside was dark, the only light coming in through the door and some cracks in the roof, which also resulted in water copiously dripping onto the ruined wooden floor. Jacob used the flashlight function on his phone to get a better look at everything. The remaining furniture was ripped up and cracked, the floorboards were in various states of decay, the walls were covered in unrecognizable graffiti art. Empty cans and broken bottles were scattered on the ground, some half-sunken into puddles caused by the rainwater. Jacob had expected a bad view but still found himself speechless. Alex did not seem to fare much better, a single “fuck” escaping his lips, every letter of it carefully enunciated. Robin placed down the toolboxes, shaking both her arms before raising them to present the room.

“And behind door number one, we have something that looks even worse than your farm did. Funnily enough, both were supposed to be watched by Lewis. Don’t tell him I said that.” Robin quickly grimaced, scratching the back of her head. She opened one of the toolboxes, taking out a pair of work gloves and throwing it to Alex, who deftly caught the objects, nodding in appreciation. Robin dug further and pulled out a roll of garbage bags, ripping one off and shaking it in the air, handing it to Alex as well.   
“Alex, could you start picking up all the cans and bottles in here, so we don’t have to watch our step as much? Jacob, I’ll need your help in the crafts room to fix a bigger leak in the ceiling before things get too bad.” Robin headed to the left, down a hallway. Jacob shrugged at Alex and wished him good luck before walking after the carpenter. Another left turn and some stairs later he found himself in the crafts room, standing next to Robin. He used his flashlight to look around, not finding any urgent leaks in the ceiling, nor any larger pooling of water.

“Are you sure you meant this room?” Jacob asked her, the redhead moving to the door to close it behind them. Her lips were pressed into a thin line as she looked at Jacob, eyebrows furrowed.   
“Did it have to be him you dragged along? Could’ve brought Elliot, who would’ve just spent the entire time talking in poems. Or Shane who would have helped had you offered enough beer. But no, you just had to bring the guy that bullied Sebi, didn’t you?” Robin spoke sternly and through gritted teeth. Jacob instantly realized she was holding back her anger. 

“Robin, I had no idea you have a history. He just wanted something to do on the weekend and I suggested this. I’m sorry if his presence upsets you.” He tried to deescalate, but Robin was barely getting started.  
“I held a crying Sebi every single day while this guy spent all of middle school insulting my son for every little thing he did wrong. Or things he did right too, the dumbass didn’t care. He just wanted to make others feel miserable. Now he’s here acting like nothing ever happened. I don’t care how, just get rid of him because I cannot look at him.” Robin’s bottom lip was quivering, her fists clenched tight, her head red with anger. Jacob slightly tilted his head at her, aware that he was on thin ice. Much to his disadvantage, he was not one to tread carefully. 

“Middle school? You’re freaking out over something the guy did in middle school?” Jacob paused. Robin looked like she was about to yell but he shushed her. In the distance he could hear a banging sound, insignificant to the words on his lips. 

“No, I’m talking now. You can call Alex whatever you want, but you clearly have no idea who he is. All your information is based on the child he was almost ten years ago. Stop seeing everyone as a fucking child. People grow up, people change, people earn their second chances. He’s here trying to give back to the community. Are you even going to let him try?” Jacob was now shaking with anger. He found the pain of his fingernails carving into his palm strangely grounding as he tightened his fists.

“You have no idea what it’s like to have your child live in fear of school. You don’t know what it’s like to see him more and more bruised, still begging you not to do anything about it.” The carpenter’s eyes were tearing up, her words getting shakier by the second. 

“No Robin, but guess what? I know what it’s like to be that child. I know how it feels to be confused at the hostility, to wonder why someone could be so cruel and evil for no reason. Even at that age, I understood people have their reasons. Maybe you should consider what must have happened in a child’s life to make them so cruel. They clearly aren’t born that way. Maybe you should ask Sebi, he clearly understands it better than you do. Maybe if you were a better mother, he would have told you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll spend my Sunday with more understanding people.” Jacob stormed out of the room without giving Robin a chance to defend herself, smashing the door to the crafts room shut behind him. He walked back to the entrance hall, finding it suspiciously empty. The garbage bag and work gloves were thrown on the floor, the box of cookies left behind. Jacob stopped to pick up the box when he heard a strange sound. He halted for a moment focusing on it. A weak weeping, Robin’s weeping to be exact, could be heard through the wall. He searched for the source of the sound, finding a golf ball-sized hole where something broke through moldy wood. Jacob bit his lip, realizing that the distant banging sound he heard earlier was the sound of Alex storming out after hearing Robin’s comments.   
The tension headache began to build up as Jacob left the community center, looking for any sign of the athlete. Wherever he went, it was not within viewing distance from the community center. Jacob began to jog towards Dusty’s pen, figuring Alex may have gone looking for comfort. Besides a curled-up Dusty in the doghouse, the pen appeared to be empty. Jacob headed further to Alex’ place of residence, knocking forcefully on the door. Evelyn swiftly opened the door with a smile, greeting the rain-drenched farmer.

“Sorry to bother, is Alex home?” Jacob asked, trying his best to not let the anger and worry show. 

“He just came home and went to his room. Said he wasn’t feeling well.” Evelyn sounded worried, looking at the farmer with questioning eyes. 

“Kid just already gave up on working. Lazy bastard.” George’s voice from the living room pierced straight through Jacob’s heart. 

Jacob slipped out of his shoes and entered the house before being invited in, heading straight for the living room. George appeared to be too focused on whatever was happening on TV to notice the farmer approaching and ripping away the remote in front of him. Jacob turned off the TV, which finally got the old man’s attention. 

“I was watching that!” he exclaimed, trying to grab the remote from Jacob’s firm grasp. Jacob just pulled it away and hid it in his back pocket. 

“Consider watching what you say instead. I have had a shit day and I’m currently not above punching an abusive old man in a wheelchair. Your grandson had an even worse day and maybe you should try to be anything other than miserable for once. You can have the remote back once you start being a decent human being.” Jocks had a tendency to bring out Jacob’s nasty side. That day marked the first time it was used to protect Alex, much to Jacob’s surprise. He did not care if he ended up in a feud with the entire village, at this point. His head and heart were aching, and he wanted it to stop at any cost. Evelyn glanced into the room, the worry intensified in her face. Jacob did not notice her as he was too busy glaring at George. The old man’s lips twitched as he seemed to focus. Jacob could see the wheels turning once more before George replied. 

“You either have balls the size of melons or a brain the size of a pea to talk to me like that in my own home.” The two men continued to stare each other down. Evelyn began to raise her hands, trying to calm everyone before George held out a hand to stop her. The tense silence continued for another moment before the old man began to speak again.

“I respect that. You’re right.” George looked down at the floor, a frown on his face. Jacob nodded in acknowledgment before placing the TV remote back next to the wheelchair-bound man. He mumbled a simple “Sorry” to Evelyn before heading straight for Alex’ room which he guessed by the lettering on the door that must have been there since he moved in. Jacob opened the door without knocking and entered the room for the first time ever, instantly locating the athlete. He was laying on his bed, head turned towards the man who had just walked in, eyes red and puffy from crying. Neither one of them said a word. Instead, Alex rolled over on his back again and stared at the ceiling. Jacob looked around the room, taking in all the things Alex kept in there. He saw some weights and other workout equipment in one corner, a wall with gridball players on posters surrounded by gridball cards, a dusty bookshelf and a rarely used desk occupying the other side of the room. Alex’ twin-sized bed would have been filled out by the buff athlete on a good day, but today he seemed to be small, in presence if not in stature. Alex tried to remain as quiet as possible, almost as if he were hoping that he would not be seen if he just laid sufficiently still. Jacob presented the box of cookies he was still carrying, placing it on the bed next to the other man with a sigh. 

“I don’t think I earned these. Made Robin cry and threatened to punch your grandpa today, not my finest hour.” Alex looked up at Jacob when he began to speak, carefully eyeing him. “I guess the carpentry apprenticeship is off the table. Robin didn’t even notice the hole in the wall, she can’t be trusted to take good care of you.” Jacob raised the corner of his mouth, trying a semblance of a smile. 

“Maybe she wanted me to hear.” Alex’ voice was weak and trembling. The farmer shook his head in response. “I think you left before I started yelling at her. I doubt she would have wanted you to hear that.” Jacob sat down on the bed next to Alex, his back turned to the silently crying man. His drenched clothes were soaking into the bedsheets, but neither of them seemed to mind. 

“I just wanted to help. I had no idea she felt that way about me.” Alex rolled over to his side, facing Jacob. “You know…I apologized to Sebastian and everyone yesterday because of our talk in front of the community center. Thinking about my father made me realize that I did not act any better than him.” Speaking sounded painful for Alex. He appeared to be struggling to keep himself from crying. Jacob turned around, eyebrows raised in surprise at those words.

“Sebastian said he was never angry at me, just sad. That hurt more than if he had yelled at me. I expected him to yell, not to have been pitying me for ten years.” Alex forced himself to sit up next to Jacob, sinking into the mattress. His shaking hands were resting on his knees. 

“Sam talked about how he remembered that it sucked, but it hasn’t bothered him in years. Abigail though, she couldn’t forgive me. She was angry. Very angry. Said I can come crawling back once I’ve proven I’m a better person.” Alex’ hands shot to his face, covering his eyes. Jacob could hear a quiet whimper and instinctively placed a hand on the jock’s leg. 

“And with how I acted towards you on Friday, she was probably right not to forgive me. People don’t change overnight.” Alex was whispering now, his entire body trembling. Jacob could not bear to look at the athlete as he seemed to slouched over even further. He found his eyes wandering over to the gridball posters, a tangible depiction of Alex’ hopes and dreams. 

“I’m no expert on the matter, but you can’t win a game of gridball without the other team scoring some points against you too. Well, technically you can, but that is very rare and just screams cheating’. You’re gonna mess up sometimes, I sure as hell will have to make up for my harsh words today. You’re figuring things out and you’re putting in some effort. Don’t give up on yourself, okay?” Alex chuckled faintly at the poor gridball reference, the trembling now subsiding. 

“I had quite a few bullies when I was a child. You know how much easier it would be to remember my childhood fondly if any of those had ever bothered to apologize? I doubt any of them ever realized that their actions were terrible. What you did took balls the size of melons, as your grandpa would say. For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you. I promise Abigail will come around too, maybe even Robin.” Jacob finally found the strength to look at Alex again. The jock had stopped crying, his hands wiping away the last few tears. A small upwards curve on his lips showed that he was smiling, or trying to, at least. Alex leaned over and put his head on Jacob’s shoulder, a sensation that made the farmer shiver. The warmth of the athlete’s head seemed to pierce through the wet jacket, leaving Jacob confused yet happy. For one blissful moment, the two remained in silence in that position.

“What was that about threatening to punch my grandpa?” Alex grumbled, the vibrations of his voice travelling through Jacob’s entire body. The bigger man sat up, turning to look at the farmer with a smile on his face, eyes still puffy and red. Jacob found himself blushing and stammering.

“I, uh, I may have…You know. He said some rude things about a friend of mine, and I was not in the mood to tolerate it. I’m sure we will laugh about that at some point. Maybe I should run out for today though, don’t think I can face Evelyn. She heard the whole thing.” Jacob’s face was pulled into a frown. Alex, on the other hand, seemed to find it hilarious, hitting Jacob’s back as he laughed. 

“She does not hold grudges, probably even appreciates you standing up for your friends. I know I do.” Alex smiled, his cheeks slightly red. Jacob blushed right back at him, awkwardly standing up from the bed, his clothes leaving behind a wet spot. He eyed it, mouthing a “sorry” to Alex. The taller guy stood up and shrugged, now looking down at Jacob. 

“I would’ve left a bigger wet spot on my pillow if you hadn’t shown up. Thank you.” Alex grabbed Jacob into a tight hug, the latter reciprocating it. Jacob found himself drawn to the vibrations caused by Alex’ words as he continued to speak.  
“I can’t talk to Haley like this and she’s my best friend. Whenever I try to talk feelings, I feel so small and weak. But when I talk to you, I feel stronger afterwards. You should be a therapist or something, one of those psychopaths.” Jacob laughed into Alex’ chest, pulling away from the hug. “Psychiatrist.” 

Alex blushed in response, stammering away. “Yes, oh Yoba, yes! Sorry! I’m so sorry! I mix up words sometimes.” He raised both hands in defense and Jacob high fived them both, also unsure how to deal with the mix-up. They both began to laugh but were interrupted by a gentle knock at the door. Evelyn opened the door just a slit, peaking in.

“Is everything okay in here? You shook George good, you did. He just thanked me for taking care of him.” Both Alex and Jacob laughed at those words, but her tone appeared to carry genuine concern. 

“I am so sorry for being rude, Evelyn. I lost my composure and I really should not have. I hope you can forgive me and so can George once I apologize to him.” Jacob’s laughing quickly stopped when he noticed the worry in the old woman’s voice. Alex took a moment longer to calm down, seemingly needing the laughter after this morning. Evelyn waved her hand through the air.

“Oh, don’t you worry. No one had dared to speak up against him since his accident, I think he enjoyed being seen as a human and not a cripple for once. Don’t make it a habit to threaten people, though, it’s very improper!” She wagged her finger at him in a warning, but her face remained friendly. Jacob sighed in relief, grabbing the box of cookies and taking a bite from a chocolate chip cookie.

“I needed this, I’m sorry.” He spoke with his mouth full, offering the box to Alex who grabbed a blueberry cookie. “I feared I’d have to give up these cookies because I upset George.” A single crumb fell out of his mouth on the floor. His eyes followed it until it touched the carpet, and he quickly picked it up and threw it in the trash can, awkwardly smiling at Evelyn. 

“I think it’s time I leave, thank you for your hospitality!” Jacob basically shouted at Evelyn and Alex, patting Alex on the shoulder and giving Evelyn a quick hug. He walked past the living room and gave it a quick glance. George was turned away from the door, the TV next to him was still off. The old man was looking out of a window, his hands gripping the armrests on his wheelchair. Jacob briefly considered apologizing but put on his shoes and walked out of the door instead. George looked like he would prefer the company of his own thoughts for now. The rain was still falling, but instead of being miserable and cold, it now felt warm and cleansing. The bad feelings were slowly fading away, making room for nicer ones. Jacob looked towards the south and noticed that the sky was slowly opening back up again. 

“Maybe there will a rainbow later,” he thought to himself as he began making his way back home. Unfortunately, he still got thoroughly drenched in the twenty minutes it took him to speed-walk to his farm. Fen eagerly awaited him at the door, Jacob barely managing to push past him to get inside. He headed straight for the bathroom, ripping the wet clothes off his body on the way there. Stepping out of his boxer briefs as soon as he closed the door behind him, he walked towards the shower. Jacob figured a warm shower would feel better than the rain, realizing too late that hot was not a setting his shower came with. He put his hands over his eyes, groaning loudly. Given his current relationship with Robin, he could not ask her to fix the boiler any time soon. To get his mind off the disappointingly lukewarm shower, he began to go through that day’s events again. The fight with Robin, running after the jock to his house, yelling at George, storming into Alex’ room. He remembered the man’s puffy eyes and sitting down next to him. Jacob could still feel the taller man leaning into him, the warmth spreading through his body despite his cold and wet clothes. Alex’ deep voice originating next to his ear. The way it reverberated against his shoulder. Jacob could feel himself trembling slightly, wiping some water out of his eyes and remembering that he was showering. He turned off the water and realized, to his surprise, that his body seemed to remember the touch just as well as his mind. In fact, it responded to its memory with a problem he was all too familiar with. Jacob was rock hard thinking about Alex’ touching him. 

He briefly considered turning the water to cold to wash away the filthy thoughts that now overcame him, but the day had been rough, and felt he had earned some stress relief. Therefore, he found himself giving in to his hand. His memories were now not just drifting to Alex’ touch, but also the memory of Alex in his white tank top, sitting on his porch drenched in sweat. Alex lifting his arms and revealing his fuzzy abs, the happy trail suggesting more to be found. His rhythm faster and faster, Jacob could not hold back any longer. He found himself releasing onto the floor with a quiet moan, steadying himself with his other hand against the shower wall. He looked at his sticky hand, turning the water on again to wash it off while shaking his head. 

“Don’t you dare give me these dirty thoughts again. He’s a friend! I can’t start falling for the jock right now!” Jacob was pointing at his own crotch, groaning at the ridiculousness of his actions. Fen barked outside the door in response to his yelling. 

“Not you, Fen. I’ll have you know, I often talk to things that don’t talk back. You’re not the only one,” he said, frustrated, as he was leaning against the door. He quickly dried off, wrapping the towel around his waist and leaving for his bedroom to get dressed. He threw on some old grey sweatpants and a baggy black t-shirt, dropping onto his back on the bed. He held his right hand towards the ceiling, looking at it with a wrinkled nose. He felt betrayed by his own body, guilty for thinking of his new friend in such a filthy moment, but his body felt better for having done it. Jacob was hoping that this would not turn into a regular occurrence, fearing that he could not look into Alex’ beautiful green eyes ever again. 

“No, there it goes again. STOP IT!” He yelled into the room, slapping his own forehead. Fen jumped up on the bed to investigate the noise and started licking Jacob’s face. The man could barely defend himself against the dog, eventually just giving in and laughing at the tickling sensation.

“Just can’t let your owner be a dramatic bitch for one moment, can you?” Jacob grabbed the dog into a hug, snuggling for a while before the hunger forced them both out of bed to grab some lunch.


	6. Three Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jacob is not having the best day in this chapter.  
> As always, I'm really grateful for the kind feedback this has received. It really means a lot to me <3

Monday morning came around with sunshine and plenty of work to do on the farm. The first thing Jacob took care of was feeding the chickens and spending some time petting them. Getting them used to people would make it easier if they ever needed to see a vet. He grabbed the eggs they had laid and walked back to his house to cook himself the freshest omelet he ever had. He had started using his own produce in his meals whenever possible in order to save money on ingredients. It certainly tasted better, although he admitted to himself that he may be biased. 

Jacob cleaned the dishes while humming a random melody, occasionally loudly singing his actions out to himself. He had woken up well rested, most likely due to spending most of the day before in bed. He also found himself in a better mood than usual, skipping down the stairs in front of his house to get to the mailbox. Much to his surprise, it contained three letters. He placed them on the stairs outside and disappeared into the house to get a knife to open them, as well as a mug of coffee. He sat down in the gentle spring breeze, enjoying the rays of sunshine and the faint smell of tulips he had planted as close to the house as possible. Whilst taking a sip of coffee, he briefly considered not opening any of the letters. Whatever was written in them was bound to be just more work to worry about. Instead, he contemplated just sitting there and enjoying the beautiful day, maybe even asking some of his new friends to hang out. Sadly, Jacob knew that the senders of those letters would realize sooner or later that he was avoiding his duties. He grabbed the one on top and opened it carefully, peeking as he pulled it out. He took a glance at the signature at the bottom before even reading it. The letter appeared to be from Mayor Lewis. Most of it printed, the only handwritten parts were the signature and Jacob’s name. His eyes darted from side to side as he quickly made his way through it. It appeared to be an invitation to a “Flower Dance” the following day, an event where people dance with their partners. 

“Fen, how are your dancing skills, buddy?” Jacob shouted into the house. The dog came running outside, swiftly licking Jacob’s face while wagging his tail. 

“Too much tongue to be my partner, guess we’ll skip this dance,” Jacob chuckled while wiping away saliva from his cheeks with the back of his hand. He placed the letter to his left and opened the next one. The envelope of this one was slightly damp and crinkled. He assumed it must have been delivered on Sunday, during the rain. Jacob pulled a grimace when he saw that the sender was Robin, remembering all the things he had told her the day before. He put his fingers over his eyes, peeking through the gaps as if that would protect him from the anger the words would contain. He slowly opened the gap between his fingers more as he realized that it was simply a bill for the coop Robin had built for him. He groaned in relief and let out a breath he did not realize he was holding. To his surprise, the price was only 3600 gold instead of the expected 4000 gold. He folded the letter and was about to place it to the side when he noticed a handwritten note on its back. 

“Dear Jacob, I gave you another 10% off since you will be helping me this Sunday! Looking forward to working with you!” There they were, the painful words he was dreading, and this time he did not even have his hands up in protection. He knew he would have to pay the full price for what he told the carpenter the day before, both figuratively and literally. He tossed the letter to his side and let himself fall on his back against the wooden floor of the porch, sighing loudly as he closed his eyes for a moment. This moment of self-pity was quickly interrupted by Fen, who considered a face on the floor an invitation to lick it. Jacob pushed away the dog, wiping more spit off his face. He fumbled around trying to feel the third letter. He eventually managed to grasp the envelope and held it up over his head, still laying on his back. He took the knife to open it, now much less careful than he was with the first two, and found himself holding a fully handwritten letter addressed to him. He recognized the handwriting, immediately realizing that this would be the worst of the three letters to read. He sat up and grabbed his coffee mug, emptying it in one motion. He bit his lower lip as he began to read the letter, clearly written by his mother. 

It started with “Jacob.” Not even “Dear Jacob” or “Beloved Jacob”, just his name by itself. The force he used to bite on his bottom lip increased, now threatening to draw blood. 

“Jacob.  
I cannot believe you threw away your career that your father worked so hard to get you. Your supervisor tore him a new one for recommending you, and I don’t blame him. What kind of selfish creature throws away everything just to take over that garbage farm? What kind of terrible son does not even tell his parents? We only figured out what happened because we asked your landlord. Contact us immediately.”

There was not even a signature at the end. His mother must have been aware that she would be recognized by her handwriting and her ability to ruin any day. Jacob found himself scrunching up the letter out of reflex, the metallic taste in his mouth letting him know he was bleeding. His hand was shaking from the effort he was expending in closing his fist around the piece of paper, hoping that if he just held it closed strong enough, he could forget it ever existed. Unfortunately, the venom in his mother’s words was already making his blood boil. He pocketed the ball of paper and shot up to his feet. He practically ran over to his tools and began to fill the watering can with the intention of working away his anger. Once he finished watering the last of his crops, he realized that watering plants was not the key to getting rid of anger as it had just given him more time to think about the letter. Jacob and his parents never had the best relationship; it was neutral at the best of times. They both lived for work and considered their son to be a chore or an investment, something they took care of because it may have some profit in the future. They fed him, bought him toys, sent him to a good school and once a year, when he had good grades, they told him he did a good job and that they were proud with what little emotion in their voice they could muster. The reason he would visit his grandpa on the farm during summer vacation in the first place was so his parents could work through summer without needing a babysitter. In a way, this farm had always been an escape from his parents, whose acts of love during his lifetime he could count on one hand. Jacob remembered interviewing at Joja, spending weeks preparing for potential questions after he had spent years making sure his college grades were as good as they could be. He was terrified, but he left that interview knowing that he did his best and he was proud of it, even more so when he got the job. About a month later, he heard from his supervisor that the only reason he got the job is because Jacob’s father, a higher-ranked manager at Joja, had put in a good word for his son. Jacob was furious at his father for hiding that from him, and unbearably sad for not having been good enough to get the job on his own. It motivated him to work his ass off to deserve the position he had, which only made his father take credit for any success Jacob had managed to achieve.   
Jacob found himself getting changed into some gym shorts and an old tank top before he even realized what he was doing. He needed to blow off steam and appeared to know it subconsciously. He grabbed a small towel and began to run to the north, towards the mountains. Jacob tried to focus on his breathing and the sound of his rhythmic footsteps, not allowing any coherent thoughts to form in his brain. He did not notice the exhaustion in his legs nor the pain in his ever-sore muscles. All that was on his mind was breathing and running. 

He was brutally torn from his trance when he heard someone shout at him. “Hey, Mr. Farmer!” Startled, Jacob found himself struggling to keep up the rhythm with his feet, tripping and falling to the ground, barely getting his arms up in time to protect his face from hitting the dirt. He grunted in pain, cursing under his breath as he rolled to the side. Quick and heavy footsteps approached him, his eyes struggling to focus on the figure. 

“I’m terribly sorry, I did not mean to startle you.” The voice seemed to be close, yet it felt disorienting. A hand was placed on his shoulder. Jacob closed his eyes and shook his head, slowly opening them again once the world felt like it stopped spinning. The figure next to him came into focus. The man, tall and dark skinned, was wearing a blue shirt and some black jeans, a kind and reassuring smile on his lips. Jacob had talked to him only once when he had introduced himself to everyone in town, but he still recognized the man as Demetrius, Pelican Town’s scientist and Robin’s husband. 

“Are you okay?” The man asked Jacob, helping him to his feet. Jacob nodded and he wiped away some dirt from his legs, realizing that some of it had formed sticky clumps with his blood. His arms did not appear to look any better, but at least the adrenaline of the fall appeared to dull the pain for now. 

“Just hurt my pride and my body.” Jacob spoke through gritted teeth; the impact had made it hard for him to breathe. He tried to force a smile, but he was aware of how crooked it looked. The man next to him appeared to not notice.   
“Oh, I’m glad. It looked concerning and like your injuries would affect you.” Demetrius spoke calmly and sincerely, much to Jacob’s confusion. He had thought his sarcasm must have been obvious enough to pick up on. Instead, the scientist next to him either had no ability to understand it as such, or simply did not care. 

“What were you trying to say before I fell there?” Leaning forward, still trying to catch his breath, Jacob furrowed his brow as he looked at the other man. 

“I was looking for some clarification about a conversation you had yesterday with my wife, actually.” Unprepared for this conversation, Jacob felt his heart sink in his chest. He cursed himself for running in this direction instead of going south, towards Marnie’s farm, but Demetrius just continued speaking.

“She elaborated on her side of the events and it was rather difficult to make out due to how distraught she was, so I was curious to hear yours. Would you care to tell me what happened?” The scientist spoke with an emotionless rationality, like the whole situation was just an amusing observation. Jacob found himself feeling more and more uncomfortable the less emotion he could find in Demetrius’ voice and face. He raised an eyebrow in confusion, hoping the other man would elaborate. Instead, Demetrius just waited with a slight smile on his face. On anyone else, it may have appeared to be a mocking or a taunting smile, but with Demetrius, it just felt cold. 

“I…may have gotten a bit overprotective of a friend of mine?” Jacob spoke slowly, eyeing Demetrius for any change in body language. He waited after he finished the sentence, but the other man, ever smiling, just nodded and motioned for Jacob to continue.  
“I felt Robin was being unfair to a grown man because of the mistakes he made as a child?” Jacob spoke in a questioning tone, unsure if he was answering the questions that the other man had. But still, no response from Demetrius beyond a simple nod.   
“I lost my temper and ended up telling her that people grow up and change. That the child she knew is now a much better man.” Jacob paused. “And I may have implied that if she were a better mother and spoke to her son more, Sebastian would have already told her all of that?” He rushed through that part with a much quieter voice. He found it oddly infuriating that calling Robin a terrible mother still did not get a change in Demetrius’ body language. However, at least the scientist now appeared to be ready to respond.

“I see. That explains why she spent so long talking to Sebastian yesterday. Thank you for your input, it was very helpful. Have a nice day.” Demetrius grabbed Jacob’s hand and shook it, a bigger smile on his face. He then turned around and walked towards his house, which Jacob now realized he had accidentally jogged to. Still confused by this encounter, he carefully stretched to make sure nothing was broken from his fall. His leg had begun to hurt, making him walk with a limp, but it was nothing he could not handle. He turned around and noticed that a group of construction workers were standing not far from there, staring at him with blank faces. 

“What? I’m fine, get back to work! What are you doing anyways?” Jacob found himself shouting at the men, most of which immediately turned away and tried their best to look busy. One of them tipped his helmet in Jacob’s direction.

“Just clearing the landslide to the spa and train station, sir.” The man had a deep and gravelly voice, as if he had been smoking two packs a day since he came out of the womb. Jacob rubbed his temples and hobbled away, heading back in the direction of his farm. The walk home was slow and painful. Jacob ended up breaking off a branch from one of the trees along the way to improvise a walking stick, thus taking some weight off his injured leg. It took him almost forty-five minutes to arrive at his front porch, where Fen was eagerly awaiting his return. The dog ran up to Jacob, sniffing at the wounds on his leg before noticing the giant stick. His eyes went wide, and the tail went wild. Before Jacob could react, he found his walking stick kidnapped by a dog that must have been half its size. Jacob rolled his eyes and slowly made his way up the stairs and into his house. He headed straight for the bathroom in a desperate attempt to start cleaning his now long since dried wounds. Every touch hurt, but he managed to clean everything enough to the point where he could disinfect any open spots. Most could be covered by band aids, but a particularly long cut on his right knee demanded the use of some bandages. Jacob limped back to his small living room and dropped on the couch. He grabbed his phone and opened the messaging app, trying to find Abigail. 

**Jacob 11:14 am:** “Heya. This flower festival thing, is it bad if I skip?” He had barely managed to put the phone away before it vibrated with Abigail’s reply.

**Abigail 11:14 am:** “The Flower Dance! Yes!!! You will bring shame on your ancestors if you skip!”

**Jacob 11:15 am:** “So nothing new then. Seriously, I’m not feeling it. Don’t have a partner to dance with either, will just skip. Please film it if someone does something funny though.”

**Abigail 11:16 am:** “Only the flower waltz is with a partner. The rest you can do with whoever or alone!”

**Abigail 11:16 am:** “What happens at Flower Dance stays at Flower Dance, sorry but you will have to come yourself if you want to see it!!”

**Abigail 11:17 am:** “Wait is something wrong? Are you okay?”

Jacob started typing his reply, but instead found himself interrupted by an incoming phone call from the purple-haired girl. He accepted the call hesitantly, not sure where to even start.

“Hey. I’m okay, just fell over while running today and everything hurts.” So far so good, he was not lying. He had only omitted information about his fight with Robin, the guilt over pleasuring himself while thinking of Alex and his mother’s letter where she once more made it clear how much Jacob was disappointing her. 

“Have you been to Harvey’s? He’s right next door, I can send him over if you want. Did you break something? Who’s gonna take care of the farm?” Abigail spoke faster than Jacob’s brain could keep up. It took him a few seconds of awkward silence to take apart everything she just said. 

“No, I’ll be fine. Just bruised and cut. I’ll take some painkillers and won’t remember this ever happened in two days. I got the farm under control.” Jacob was fiddling with his bandages while speaking, hoping those answers were enough to end the conversation.  
“You better be good again on Friday, you owe me some rounds of pool after disappearing last week!” Abigail started sounding overly cheerful, rambling on about how she broke her personal record at Journey of the Prairie King and how, much to everyone’s surprise, Sam won once against Sebi. Eventually Abigail’s voice started turning more somber as she was speaking, and Jacob felt another uncomfortable conversation incoming. 

“So, Jacob…speaking of last Friday. Sebi told me about that fight you had with his mom. Why did you defend that dumb jock after he was so rude to you on Friday?” Jacob groaned in response, cursing the nature of small towns and everyone knowing everyone’s business. He scratched the back of his head while considering the option to just hang up. Unfortunately, he enjoyed the Friday evenings he had with Sebi, Sam and Abigail too much to risk offending Abigail now. He sighed before responding. 

“I have my reasons. He’s not a dumb jock, trust me on that, Abigail. Can we talk about that in person another time, though? I can’t imagine it not coming up on Friday, if Sebi will still have me around?” Jacob just hoped he could delay the uncomfortable conversations for the moment. Today was not a day where he wanted any more of those. 

“Of course he will have you around! He totally thought his mom was overreacting. I just don’t get any of it. Oh well, guess you’ll tell me all about it later. Don’t think you can get out of it this easily!” Abigail began to sound more cheerful again, much to Jacob’s relief. They both wished each other a good day before ending the phone call. Jacob eyed his phone wondering who else he could text. His mind drifted to Alex, whose existence had caused a painfully large number of unpleasant moments in the past week. Despite the awkward situations the athlete seemed to get him into, Jacob still found himself grinning at the thought of him. He navigated through the messaging app to Alex, wondering what he could write to him. Almost as if he could sense it, Alex appeared to be writing a message. Jacob stared at his phone in anticipation, wondering what the jock would send him, but no message ever appeared. After a few minutes of wishful thinking, Jacob put away his phone, instead opting for a thorough inspection of his living room ceiling which quickly turned into a nap. 

He woke up a few hours later in the afternoon, covered in sweat. He realized he skipped lunch and considered getting up to make himself a snack, but he did not feel any hunger. The wounds on his legs were aching, a burning sensation where his skin had been torn away by the collision with dirt and a blunt pulsating ache where he hit some rocks. He contemplated going to see Harvey to make sure he would not be stuck with permanent problems, but he hated asking for help. Whenever possible, Jacob tried to fix his own problems, and if he could not do it, he would ignore them and start trying to fix other people’s problems instead. Maybe that was one of the reasons he felt drawn to Alex. The athlete seemed to have his fair share of problems, and a certain ineptitude when it came to dealing with them. It gave Jacob a sense of importance when he could stand up for his friend against Robin or George. As long as he was busy fixing Alex’ life, he would not have to face his troubling relationship with his parents or his struggles to maintain friendships. Jacob pulled a grimace filled with disgust and began to punch himself on the forehead.

“Stop trying to fix people, you asshole. You’re just disrespecting their independence and projecting. People fix themselves and you can only support them, you know this, Jacob!” he was yelling through gritted teeth at himself. The couch creaked every time he hit himself, a steady rhythm to accompany his self-berating. He was angry at himself for forgetting those lessons he had learned the hard way many times before. He had tried to fix other people’s lives before. He had rarely succeeded in making them better. Instead, he would just get frustrated that things were not as simple as they seemed before quitting. A few times, his friends would realize what he was doing and would be hurt that he had begun to see them as a project rather than a person. Jacob was not hurt at those comments, as much as he was sad at their truthfulness. He wondered if he was trying to protect Alex or just wanted to be in control of those situations and appear like a warrior of justice that always knows the right things to do and say. Jacob stopped hitting himself, instead opting for pinching his thigh as hard as he could with his nails, a technique he often used to ground himself when he got lost in his thoughts. The pain shot through his leg as he whimpered in response. 

“Stupid idiot! You’re arrogant! You’re more arrogant than every single person you’ve judged for it if you think you always know what’s best!” Jacob sighed loudly, his head falling to the side. Fen had been eyeing him from a distance, confused by the shouting and unsure if he should approach. Jacob tried to sit up on the couch, only managing with complaints from his entire body. He looked at his dog while biting his lower lip. 

“You know what I thought when I first saw Alex? That he’s an arrogant dick. It pissed me off so much that I wanted to punch him. And now I’m here, bleeding on my couch because I’m too dumb to run, jumping at the first opportunity to feel superior to him. To feel that he needs me to protect him. Me. I’m the arrogant dick.” Jacob’s voice went through moments of shouting and moments of whispering, sounding nothing but defeated by the end. He felt pathetic and worthless, as he usually did when he allowed himself too much time to think. He stood up, his left leg immediately giving in as soon as he tried to put a bit of weight on it. He managed to shift to his right leg at the last second, narrowly avoiding another encounter with the ground. He hobbled towards the closet containing the boiler, grabbing some tools on the way there. He opened the door and began to inspect the cause of lukewarm showers in the past three weeks. With his eyes searching for a complicated issue, it took him an embarrassingly long time to realize that it was simply a matter of readjusting the thermostat. He considered banging his head against the still cold metal of the boiler but felt like he looked beat-up enough already. Jacob wanted to cry. For one, he hoped that this problem would keep him busy for a few hours so he could get his mind off things. The other reason was that, after all this time, the fix would have been so easy if he had just stopped running away from his problems. If he had been in a better mental state, he would have learned something from this realization. Instead, he just walked to the fridge to devour a chocolate bar in self-pity. With the stains of his bad decisions all over his face, he grabbed his phone. There was a message on the screen, one that he must have missed while he was asleep.

**Alex 3:02 pm:** “I apologized to Robin. She will let me work with her on the community center on Saturday!”

Jacob groaned, an uncomfortable feeling emerging in his stomach. A combination of chocolate and guilt or disgust, he was not sure.

“See. He’s better at solving things without me.” Jacob thought to himself, throwing his phone on the couch and turning on the TV.


	7. Apologizing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this (much longer) chapter, we follow Alex and see what he had been up to while Jacob was busy drowning himself in self-pity.   
> As always, thank you all for the positive feedback and I hope you enjoy this chapter <3

Alex’ alarm rang at 7 AM as usual. He had spent most of the night lying awake, his thoughts racing. Unfortunately, the tryouts for the Zuzu City Tunnellers were in a little less than three weeks and he could not afford to skip training to catch up on sleep. He tossed away the blankets and stretched, the air causing a faint tingling against his sweaty skin. He sat up on his bed and grabbed the glass of water on his nightstand that he always kept ready for morning workouts. His thirst quenched, he wiped away some remnants of water from his lips with the back of his hand. He took a deep breath before dropping forwards, landing expertly on his hands. He lifted his legs up on his bed to distribute more weight onto his arms as he began doing push-ups. He did a quick set of ten before lifting one leg into the air to further increase the weight on his arms. After another set of ten, he switched leg, still maintaining a steady rhythm for ten more. He turned around on his back and started doing crunches until his arms felt recovered enough to do more push-ups. He alternated the two exercises until he could no longer continue either, collapsing onto the floor in a small pool of his own sweat, breathing heavily. His legs were still resting up on the same bed only yesterday the new farmer had caught him crying on. Alex closed his eyes in embarrassment, ashamed at how vulnerable he had become. When he still lived with his father, he was not allowed to cry since it would just make the drunkard angrier. He was never sure if he had learned to endure the abuse or had run out of tears to cry, but he preferred to think of it as the former. He had to be strong for his sick mother, so she had one less thing to worry about. When his father would start a fight with her, Alex would quickly try to cause trouble so the man’s anger would be directed at him instead. He could take it to protect his mother, he could take anything for her. 

When his mother died and he was taken in by his grandparents, there was nothing to protect anymore. There was no longer a reason to endure things, but he still could not cry. Alex was angry at everything and everyone in his life. He blamed his grandparents for not protecting his mother from the abuse. He was angry at his father for letting it come this far. He was angry at the kids in his new school who played without a care in the world. He was angry at all the adults who told him they were sorry for his loss and that it was okay to cry and yet he could not cry, so it felt like they were taunting him. When his father was angry, something, or rather someone, would get hurt. So, when young Alex saw this small black-haired boy smiling at him, sticking his tongue through a gap left by a missing tooth, he got angry. The world was cruel and unfair, there was no reason to smile and he would show him by pushing him to the ground. No matter how many times Alex would punch the kid or shove him to the ground, the child would not stop grinning at him whenever they looked at each other. How could that child smile through the abuse while Alex could not? Why was that kid so much stronger than him, despite being so much weaker physically? It made him angrier, and when he got angry, he had to hurt someone. That is what his father did, so that is what all men must do. 

Alex tightened his fists with a frown on his face, hissing through gritted teeth. Considering how well his thoughts were forming, he figured he must have rested up enough to continue working out. He grabbed two dumbbells and began to do lunges with the weights hanging down, alternating the front leg with every repetition. He focused on his form, making perfectly sure that he was activating all the right muscles and that no stray thoughts about his childhood could form. When he could not go on, he grabbed two different weights and began to lift them over his head. He continued his morning exercise for an hour, until his grandmother entered the room with her usual gentle smile. 

“Alex, my dear. Will you join us for breakfast?” The old woman did not think much of knocking on the door before entering, but the smell of pancakes entering the room made Alex forgive the intrusion of privacy. He nodded at her, returning the smile. 

“I will be right there. Is it okay if I shower first?” Alex sniffed his armpits, scrunching his nose in response. Evelyn laughed and promised to wait to eat if he hurried up. The sweaty athlete quickly grabbed a towel from his dresser and a change of clothes, planting a kiss on his grandmother’s cheek as he passed by her on his way to the bathroom. 

Alex sighed in relief when the hot water hit his tense back. As he lathered up, he made sure to massage his muscles to the best of his ability, an embarrassed moan escaping his lips when he managed to hit a particularly sensitive spot. For once, he was happy how old his grandparents were, since their deteriorating hearing surely meant they did not hear it. If they had they would have assumed he was doing more questionable things. Alex intensely washed his face, his eyes burning from the combination of lack of sleep, crying for most of the previous day and trace amounts of shampoo. His thoughts kept jumping back to the grinning boy, but since yesterday, the image of the kid’s red-haired mother was part of his thoughts. He remembered the way his own mother would frown and worry at every little injury Alex had. He had never even considered that he was the reason someone else’s mother went through the same. He had lived his life in Pelican Town assuming everyone from school hated him, fully understanding why they would. Now he was hating himself for being too dumb to realize it would extend to their families too. How often did Abigail and Sam go home crying because of things he did? He thought that Pierre was just not the small talk type, instead that man probably hated him just as much as Robin did. Alex turned off the water, remaining still for a while longer. The sound of water dripping on the floor filled the room while the athlete lifted his chin. He could feel himself beginning to cry, a lump in the back of his throat and a burning sensation in both eyes. He hated how he had learned to cry again, because suddenly his body appeared to try and catch up on all the missed opportunities to do so. He pulled back the shower curtain, quickly grabbing his white towel, and dried off. He grabbed some hair gel and spread the sticky substance between his hands, expertly massing it into his hair to get the shape just right. The green-eyed man proceeded to get dressed as quick as he could, fixing any displaced hair before leaving the bathroom to join his grandparents for breakfast. 

-

Alex had just finished putting away the last dishes when the doorbell rang. He hurried to the door, part of him hoping to find a brown-haired farmer on the other side that could help him with apologizing to the entire town. Instead, Alex was greeted by a cheery blonde girl his age who immediately pulled him into a hug. Her sweet perfume hit his nose, the smell neither too strong nor too weak. It was applied to perfection, just like her blue top and pink skirt accentuated her sporty figure as if she were a painting. He considered himself to be well-kept and focused on the way he presented himself, but Alex knew that, compared to this girl, he would always look like an unkempt buffoon. It would have annoyed him if the girl had not been his only friend in recent years. As they released the hug, the girl took a step back while eyeing Alex with suspicion. She raised an eyebrow expectantly, crossing her arms. The athlete tilted his head slightly in confusion, before motioning her to come in. 

“Hey Haley. What brings you here today?” Alex asked her casually, more distant than he usually would be due to his sleep deprivation. The blonde appeared to notice as her brows furrowed.

“You look like crap. Did you stay up all night watching gridball analysis videos again?” Haley was always direct with him, which he appreciated. She spoke what was on her mind and he always knew where he stood with her. Right now, he would have preferred a nicer introduction. 

“Couldn’t sleep. I still don’t know why you’re here.” He knew exactly that she could see through any lies and excuses he tried, so he tried to omit the reason he could not sleep. He could also tell that she was fully aware of what he was doing and that she did not approve of it based on the grimace on her face. The girl sighed as she shook her head. 

“Tomorrow is a very special day and we need to practice!” Her tone was cheerful and full of energy, briefly silencing the athlete with more confusion. He tried to remember what day it was. Maybe he had forgotten her birthday, but he did not understand why that would require practice. Eventually, it dawned on him and he took a deep breath. 

“The Flower Dance.” They spoke in unison, but their emotions could not have been any more different. While Haley appeared to be overly excited, Alex hated both the traditional clothing involved as well as being watched by the entire village as they did their stupid dance. This time, he was painfully aware that the stares he would get were not due to his mistakes with the choreography but instead because people hated him. The lump in his throat began to build again, and would have grown more if Haley had not grabbed him by his shirt. She proceeded to drag him straight to his room, where she closed the door behind them. She sat down on his bed as if it were her own, making herself comfortable while staring at the confused man in front of her. She rolled her eyes. 

“You’re actually looking more miserable by the second. So, either we practice for the dance, or I make you tell me all about your feelings. I know you hate both and I won’t let you go until we do at least one of them.” Her blue eyes pierced straight through him, her smile devilish. She knew that he either needed a distraction or to talk about things. Alex hated talking about his feelings, which meant he would pick the dance. If they practiced the dance, she would look better during the event, which again benefitted her. She knew exactly how to play Alex to benefit them both and it was always a terrifying sight. This time he rolled his eyes, unable to hide the smile that was creeping on his face. Haley stuck out her tongue at him, and he quickly reciprocated. 

“You’re a manipulative monster and I’ll pick the stupid dance.” Alex held his hands up in defeat, before extending one to Haley to help her off the bed. 

“I will pretend I did not hear you call me a monster, dork. I’m a beautiful lady and you’re lucky to dance with me.” She took his hand, standing up before performing a small curtsy. 

Alex was impressed by how seriously Haley took this event. She had a recorded version of the previous year’s dance to study the moves. She also had three versions of the song that would be played, slowed down to different speeds to practice. The blonde also had a zero-tolerance rule for mistakes, yelling things at the gridball player that would make a drill sergeant blush. By the end of the morning, Haley was content with his performance. She still demanded another practice session in the morning before the event, but complimented her dance partner on his improvements. Before she left to eat lunch with her sister, she pulled Alex down to whisper into his ear. 

“And if you want to talk, you know how to reach me. Don’t be a stupid man incapable of talking about his feelings.” She always managed to hide some love in her messages despite the harsher choice of words. The two of them hugged, with Alex only making an affirmative noise in response to her words. He watched her leave before retreating back to his room and dropping onto his bed. Tomorrow, Robin would watch him dance with a smile on his face, as Haley demanded. She would stare daggers into him while thinking about all the times he made Sebastian cry. The thought made his stomach turn and he wanted to scream. He should have asked Haley for help so we would not have to bear it alone. She would probably tell him to screw those that hate him and to not care about other people’s opinions. She would say it was all in the past and that Robin was probably just jealous how he’s more attractive than her husband. Alex found himself grinning because he could definitely hear Haley say those words in a joking manner. Haley’s approach to these things did not work for him though. He did not want to spend the rest of his days in Pelican Town being hated by everyone. If he left to become a gridball pro, he would want to be remembered fondly instead of being the guy that everyone hated. Alex considered who else he could talk to about this. He did not talk about his feelings with his grandparents. With how frail they have become, he did not want to burden them with the problems of a stupid young man anymore. He grabbed his phone without thinking, navigating the messaging app to Jacob. He began to type. 

“Hey man. Can I ask you for some advice with Robin?” He eyed the words carefully before deleting them again. He spent the next few minutes typing more variations of the same sentiment, but nothing felt right. He tossed his phone next to him, watching it bounce twice and narrowly avoid dropping off the bed. He could not ask Jacob for advice on this. Maybe it was because the guy was new so he clearly could not know how the village politics work. That was the explanation that Alex would have preferred, but he knew that was not it. Jacob stood up for him. He had done it multiple times already. Despite the farmer’s smaller and weaker physique, Alex felt powerless next to him. Jacob knew what he stood for and he would fight for it. He protected Alex, even though he barely knew him. The man must have seen something good in him despite his past. He made the athlete feel warm and comfortable, which was exactly why he could not be involved in this. Jacob had already done so much for him and would have made him feel like things would be alright. When it came to Robin, however, he had to accept whatever happened and could not afford the false feeling of safety. If the carpenter decided to yell at him and abuse him with all the obscenities she knew, he would have to take it because he deserved it. If she decided to never forgive him, he would have to accept it. Jacob would have never let her do that, but halting her genuine reaction would not have helped her heal. Alex had learned in his childhood how to endure undeserved abuse. He would figure out how to deal with deserved pain, he thought. He would have to learn how to do the right thing himself, without help. Whatever would have ended up happening, this was not about him. It was for Robin. It was to help her move on from the images of a hurt and crying Sebastian. Alex’ head began to hurt at all the thoughts swirling around in his brain. He felt like he was beginning to understand something important, while also feeling unequipped to deal with the situation. He groaned while stretching. From a distance, he could hear his grandmother yell that lunch was ready. He would have to become a better person independent of Robin forgiving him. If he only did it to be despised less by the townsfolk, he did not deserve forgiveness either. He hoped his brain would work better if he had a full stomach. 

-

With a hearty lunch in his stomach, Alex returned to his bedroom, still lost in thought. He had barely spoken a word during the meal, much to Evelyn’s worry. His grandmother did not ask him if something was wrong. Instead, she just kept glancing at her unusually quiet grandson with kind yet sad eyes. When Alex left the kitchen, she had yelled a simple “Love you!” after him. He returned the words to her, but it had felt closer to a habit than a genuine show of appreciation. 

Alex took out some paper and a pencil from the drawers of his desk. He sat down in his office chair, wondering when he had last used the thing. Maybe it had been when he was still in high school, to quickly do enough homework so his teachers would not yell at him. He sighed before the pencil could even touch the paper. Writing has always been painful for him. He struggled with visualizing the words and writing them down. He would mix up letters and angrily scratch out the entire word just to repeat the same mistake on his next attempt. Yet here he was, trying to write down his feelings in the hopes of making sense of them. He began with writing an apology to Robin, slowly writing each letter with a shaky hand. He tried to formulate all the things he was sorry for, but nothing felt right. When he tried to read what he had already written, there was no sentence that could be salvaged. He had written whatever came to his mind, whenever it popped up as a coherent thought. Unfortunately, his thoughts were even messier than the scribbling they caused on paper. He balled up the first sheet, tossing it towards his bin in the corner. The ball hit the rim before dropping into a pile of used tissues, a reminder of all the tears he had tried to wipe away the past day. His green eyes darted back to the empty sheet in front of him. He pushed down the pencil, trying to force any words to come out. The force increased with every passing second, eventually causing the tip to break off and fly towards the edge of the table. Alex fell back into his chair, groaning while rubbing his eyes. He considered asking Elliot to write a beautiful poem to apologize to Robin, before remembering that he had to do this on his own. He did curse the writer’s ability to combine words into something beautiful, rather than the garbage pile of guilt that he himself could come up with. The athlete stood up from his chair and walked towards the door. A bit of fresh air might do him good, he thought, or so his grandmother claimed at least once a day. He told his grandparents he would be back for dinner as he left their home and began to walk without any direction in mind. He looked down at his feet, mesmerized by the way they kicked up small amounts of dirt whenever he took a step. It was a beautiful and warm day, the sun shining onto his back causing him to sweat within minutes of being outside. He took off his green gridball varsity jacket, tossing it over his shoulder. A faint breeze evaporated the droplets of sweat that had formed on his skin, a pleasant relief from the warmth. The athlete did not walk with any purpose in mind, but he still recognized his destination when he arrived. Before him were the once white, now dirty-brown and broken walls of the community center. The door was slightly ajar, the inside of the building completely quiet. A quick inspection revealed that the lock had been completely broken, most likely by Jacob when they had first opened it. Alex pushed the door open and entered, finding everything in the dark room just as it had been the day before. Some of the puddles had evaporated, but the rest looked just the same. He could still see all the garbage that was lying around, as well as the trash bags he was supposed to use to clean up. Robin had even left her toolbox there, placed right next to the entrance. The young man bent down to the floor, picking up the work gloves that he threw there during his rushed exit. His eyes glanced back and forth between the toolbox and the garbage on the floor, his stomach twisting with guilt. Robin had been so upset by his presence she had left all her tools and given up for the day. He had barely spoken a word to her and yet it had been enough to ruin the carpenter’s day. Alex clenched his jaw, choking down the urge to scream at himself and punch the walls. He looked at the gloves in his hands, nodding to himself as he put them on. He removed his jacket from his shoulder and tossed it next to Robin’s toolbox. Focusing on nothing but the task at hand, he began to clean up all the garbage in the main room. The sun had managed to warm up the building, which did not pair well with the stale and humid air inside the community center. Alex’ hair was dripping sweat onto his face while his back had completely drenched the shirt he was wearing. The uncomfortable experience was not enough to deter the brown-haired man from continuing. Without a single complaint running through his head, he had managed to fill three garbage bags with empty cans and bottles. Any broken furniture had been gathered and placed next to the exit for easy disposal later. He wiped the sweat from his brows with his forearm as he inspected his work. His shirt was covered in dirt and dust, small tears marking where broken wood got caught on it. He made a quick round through the rest of the rooms, managing to fill another garbage bag with random bits of trash. He added it to his collection with a hint of pride on his face. It was not an apology to Robin, but at least he had done what she had asked of him. He grabbed the toolbox and left, taking a quick break on the steps outside the community center. Alex closed his eyes for a moment, soaking in the sun and the breeze. By the time he opened them again, the sweat in his hair had almost dried up. He expelled a breath he had not realized he was holding. An unexpected sense of peace had overcome him, a feeling that he enjoyed but did not feel worthy of. Not yet at least. He jumped to his feet and walked determinately towards the mountains. Fifteen minutes later, he found himself in front of Robin’s house. He had never actually stopped in front of it, usually just passing by on his way to the gym near the train tracks. He lifted his right hand to knock before realizing what he looked like. He quickly put his gridball jacket over his dirty and torn shirt and tried to somewhat fix his hair. He hoped he looked presentable enough despite feeling as disgusting as he did in that moment. He knocked at the door, taking a deep breath. Every second without a response felt like daggers piercing his heart. A few seconds that felt like an eternity later, he heard a female voice invite him in. His hand was shaking as he pushed the door open, unsure of what would happen. He immediately saw the familiar long, red hair of Robin when he entered, her eyes wide in surprise that Alex had shown up at her door. His heart sank as he noticed her face tense in response, her jaw clearly clenched. He carefully placed the toolbox on the floor next to him, maintaining eye contact with her as if she were to pounce at him any second. The air between them felt suffocating, neither of them speaking for an uncomfortable amount of time. Eventually, Alex cleared his throat, breaking the silence. 

“I, uh… I was cleaning up the community center because I didn’t do it yesterday. I saw your tools and thought I’d bring them to you. I’m sorry for not doing the work yesterday.” If Robin did not already think that he was a stupid jock, then she surely would now, he thought. He was speaking painfully slow, as if the concept of languages had just been introduced to him this morning. He was terrified of offending her, of causing her more pain. Yet the first thing he did was to apologize for the day before instead of all the previous years. The carpenter was eyeing him suspiciously, her lips quivering. Alex could tell she was trying to restrain herself. 

“Thanks.” Robin’s harsh tone could have broken the walls of the community center. It was clear that she was angry, but Alex could also pick up the sadness in her eyes. She also appeared to be confused, but the athlete was unsure by what. The tension in the room had changed with neither of them knowing how to approach the situation. Alex just wanted to run away and try again some other time, but it would not have helped either one of them. He lowered his head in disappointment of himself, clenching his fists in the pockets of his jacket. He bit his lower lip and took a quick glance at the mother of his childhood victim. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but could not find the strength to open her mouth. Instead, Alex found himself speaking. 

“I’m sorry for a lot more. I was so terrible to everyone. The things I did to Sebastian and the others are unforgivable. I’m so sorry for what I did to him. I’m sorry for all the pain his bruises caused you.” Once he began to speak, he found himself unable to stop. Tears were beginning to blur his vision, so he closed his eyes in an attempt to stop them from coming out. 

“I’m sorry that I have been such a terrible person that my presence alone hurts you. I can’t imagine how much you must hate me for everything, but I know I deserve it. I deserve it and I hate myself for it too. I can’t believe how ignorant I was. How could I not see what I did to people? I’m so angry at myself for taking so long to understand it. Robin, I’m sorry I...” Alex was interrupted by the feeling of someone laying a hand on his shoulder. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times before recognizing the shape next to him as Sebastian. He quickly looked over to Robin, who was now hiding her face behind her hands. Her faint whimpering filled the room. To Alex’ surprise, Sebastian was smiling next to him. The dark-haired man did not even glance towards his mother, instead just focusing on the crying man next to him. 

“I’m glad you’re here, Alex. It makes me happy to see you trying to be a better person. No, you’re not just trying. You’re succeeding.” Sebastian’s voice carried a sense of calmness with it. The room had felt angry, tense and sad, but now the negativity seemed to wash away. Despite two out of the three people crying, it felt like the first ray of sunshine after a thunderstorm. Sebastian’s smile grew wider. 

“Personally, I had already forgiven you long ago. You had your reasons, I was always sure. While they may not be an excuse, they’re an explanation. Figured hating you won’t make you happier and you were hurting too, weren’t you?” Alex was astonished at the composure and understanding that the other man was showing. He could not imagine himself being half the man that Sebastian was, despite being almost twice his weight. He glanced over to Robin, who still had her face buried in her hands.

“You raised a very kind son.” Alex spoke softly in her direction. Sebastian chuckled quietly next to him. The carpenter’s rough hands lowered slightly, revealing teary eyes. Her arms dropped to her side, her strong physique trembling as she shook her head. 

“I didn’t. I wanted him to hate you just as much as I did. He became this kind all on his own.” Her voice was trembling with every word. Robin was not able to hold eye contact with either of the two men in the entrance to her house. Instead, her vision seemed to focus on the toolbox that Alex brought in with him. 

“For years, I was angry at this stupid, arrogant, evil jock for what he did to my boy. I could not understand why that kid would hurt my son day after day. Every single time I saw you, I expected to see you hurt Sebi again, because terrible people never change.” Her hands clenched into fists as she raised her eyes towards her son. 

“Then you show up at my house and just…Apologize? You dare stand here after everything, and you completely destroy the image I had of this stupid jock. This kid I was able to hate for Sebi’s bruises, this kid I still saw every time I encountered you. What am I supposed to do?” Robin’s voice was somewhere between anger and devastating sadness. Her hand punched the desk she was standing behind, the decoration on it shaking from the impact. 

“What can I do when my son and this kid I hate show that they’ve grown up more than I have?” Her whimpering quickly turned into a painful wailing. Sebastian’s smile faded as he looked at his mother. He quickly grabbed Alex by the sleeve, pulling the taller man down to whisper into his ear. 

“Can you just wait outside for a moment? I want to talk to her for minute.” Alex looked at him and nodded. The athlete stepped outside, closing the door behind him quietly. He could feel his heart still racing in his chest, his breathing heavy as if he had just run a marathon. He leaned against the wall of the house, trying to regain his composure as the minutes passed. He expected his thoughts to race, but instead he just felt empty. It was not an uncomfortable emptiness, but an unexpected one. Out of all the outcomes he had imagined, this had not been one of them. Eventually, he heard the door open next to him. Robin stepped out, her eyes puffy and red. She looked around before seeing Alex leaning against the house, nodding at him. 

“I clearly don’t know who you are. Sebi suggested we try to get to know each other. Want to help me with the community center on Saturday?” Robin did not sound happy, but she also lacked any ill intent in her voice. Instead, she just seemed exhausted and tired. Alex’ eyes widened at the offer. 

“I’d love to. It would be a step towards giving back to the community. I can’t just apologize to everyone. I also have to show I’m no longer a stupid bully.” Robin smiled at Alex repeating the words that Jacob used the day before. 

“Giving back to the community, eh? That sounds nice. Let’s meet at 9 AM on Saturday, then. Now I need a hot bath and a nap.” Robin presented it as a joke, but they both knew that they needed to recover from their conversation. They shook hands on their plans and said their farewells. As Alex turned around, he could hear a whisper from Robin.

“I’m sorry, too.” 

Alex kept walking, now with a bittersweet smile on his face. A few steps away from the house, he took out his phone and began to text Jacob. 

**Alex 3:02 pm:** “I apologized to Robin. She will let me work with her on the community center on Saturday!”

He proudly grinned to himself as he put the phone away into his jeans pocket. He walked the rest of the way home without that smile ever fading. Only when he entered his house and heard Evelyn gasp did he stop smiling for a moment. His grandmother was shocked by the amount of dirt he had dragged into the house, his clothes still filthy from cleaning the community center. He chuckled and planted a small kiss on her forehead as he passed her, getting some dust on her red dress. She quickly wiped off the dust and looked at her grandson with slight confusion. He never came home dirty unless he stumbled and fell while running. The few times that happened, he would come home angry and limping, but this time was different. The young man was smiling and walking with a confidence she had not seen in a long time. While she was lost in her thoughts, Alex disappeared to his room. He had left behind a trail of dirt and dust which Evelyn did not want to clean up herself. She hurried over to his room, entering as always without knocking. She found her grandson shirtless, in the process of taking off his pants. He quickly stopped when he noticed the door opening, as they both looked at each other in confusion.  
“I’ll clean up in a minute, just wanted to change out of the dirty clothes. And please knock before entering!” Alex played up the frustration in his voice. He had told her to knock before entering many times before, but the sweet old lady did not seem to care much for it. She just nodded in response and turned around, leaving the door open. He sighed and moved over to close it all the way before changing his clothes. Now wearing some old and worn-out sweatpants and a grey tank top, he left the room to uphold his promise and clean the mess he had made. 

-

The night brought the most peaceful sleep Alex has had in a while. He dreamt of his mother and the way she would hug him close whenever he injured himself. It made him feel safe and confident, knowing that no matter how often he fell down, he could get up again and she would hold him close. Much to his surprise, he woke up with a smile on his face. Most dreams he had of his mother filled him with sadness and pain, but not this one. He wiped away some drool from his mouth using the back of his hand as he sat up on his bed. He looked over to his nightstand where his mother’s music box was placed. He did not have many keepsakes of her, but he treasured that one with his life. He placed a hand on it and sat in silence for a moment. The first rays of sunshine poked in through a gap in the curtains and the sounds of some early birds chirping filled the room. Alex basked in the tranquility of the moment for a while longer before grabbing his phone. It was 7:22 AM, and Jacob had not responded to his text. In a little more than half an hour he would have to meet with Haley for morning rehearsals for the Flower Dance, but he would have preferred to run to the farm to check in with its owner. Alex stretched his arms, dropping back onto his bed for a moment longer. He figured he would be able to talk to Jacob during the dance to catch him up on everything. That thought was good enough to focus on getting ready to face the rest of the day. He rolled out of bed and walked to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. His grandparents were still sound asleep, so he avoided any noisy cooking and made himself a large bowl of cereal instead. The athlete’s large appetite made the contents of the bowl disappear in record time, which allowed him to quickly shower and dress. He put on the traditional blue suit, as would all the other young men of the village, and checked his hair once more in the mirror. The suit was tighter than last year, which meant he must have put on some muscle after all. He cursed himself for not trying it out sooner so Evelyn could have made it a bit wider, but it would have to do for the day. He took a mental note not to eat too much of the lunch buffet. 

Alex made it to Haley’s place just in time. She had just finished her makeup and twirled in her dress in front of Alex with pride. She bowed before him with a smile, extending a hand to the man with anticipation in her eyes. He smiled as he rolled his eyes, grabbing her hand and placing a kiss on the back of it. 

“Is the lady ready for her dance practice?” Alex tried his best at sounding like a nobleman, even though his knowledge of nobility was limited to black and white movies his grandmother would sometimes watch. In response, Haley rolled her eyes and chuckled. 

“If anyone needs practice, it has to be you. But at least you cleaned up very nicely.” He knew this was a very high compliment coming from her and gladly accepted it. She motioned Alex to follow her into her room where she had made space for them to practice. With the music playing from Haley’s phone, the two practiced for almost an hour before taking a break. They both automatically wandered to the kitchen for refreshments, not needing any words after having been friends for so long. Haley also did not require any words to notice that Alex was acting differently than the day before. She decided to just stare at him until he would open his mouth to break the awkward silence. With her eyebrows raised, she waited and looked into his eyes. The green-eyed man tried to move out of her gaze, but her eyes followed his. He sighed in defeat, giving her a weak smile. 

“Okay, you win…Monster. I was feeling like crap because I found out how much Robin hated me for bullying Sebi in middle school. It made me realize that there were probably way more people here that hated me because of it. And let’s be honest, I never did much to change their opinions either. Are you happy now?” He groaned when he realized that Haley was still staring, now with her brows furrowed. She clearly knew he was not finished yet. 

“Okay, okay. I went to Robin’s place yesterday to apologize and we talked it out and I’ll help her with rebuilding the community center. That’s all you’re getting!” He felt like a rambling toddler next to her seemingly all-knowing gaze. Fortunately, that answer seemed to satisfy her thirst for knowing everything that was going on. She smiled at him and pulled him into a hug, careful not to wipe her makeup onto his suit. 

“I’m proud of you, dork.” She whispered into his ear, releasing the hug but still smiling in his direction. 

“And if she gives you any more trouble, tell me and I will burn down her house.” She gave her best wicked grin. Alex did not appear to understand that she was joking as he began to stammer. The blonde girl gently knocked against his forehead, leaning in closer.

“I’m clearly joking, you idiot. I think Robin is smart enough to realize that you’ve become a big softy. Look at you, talking about your feelings and apologizing for hurting other people.” She pinched both his cheeks in excitement, the tall man trying to swipe away her hands as if they were an annoying fly. 

“Can we just go to this stupid dance now?” Alex tried to groan but ended up just chuckling in relief. He was happy to hear that Haley was proud of him. 

Haley ended up going ahead with her sister Emily, whereas Alex walked back home first to meet up with his grandparents, offering to push an already complaining George to the forest. As every year, Evelyn complimented how handsome Alex looked in his suit, making the young man blush. She then proceeded to ramble on about how much she used to enjoy dancing at the festival. Her talking did not stop until they reached the festival area, where most of the town had already assembled. The old lady then pointed out all the flower arrangements she had made for this year’s festival, and her pride was infectious. Alex was impressed by the variety of spring flowers in the decoration. The different flowers placed in pots on top of fences presented a perfect gradient of color. They almost managed to complete a rainbow that surrounded the entire area. Different tables were equipped with snacks and their own individual flower arrangements. Every flower was beautiful in its own right, but together their beauty seemed to be enhanced even more. Alex hugged his grandmother, telling her how proud he was of her. She blushed and thanked him before taking over the control of her husband’s wheelchair. She pushed the old man towards Mayor Lewis, leaving Alex behind. He waved over to the mayor, who nodded in response, before looking around. Haley was alone in the dancing area, moving elegantly to the piano song that was currently playing. Her blue-haired sister appeared to busy herself by sniffing every single flower arrangement with glee before moving onto the next one. Penny was squatting next to Vincent and Jas, fixing the young boy’s tie despite his best efforts to get out of it. Alex was surprised to see that the town’s teacher had put on makeup and styled her hair. She looked stunning in her blue dress, whereas usually she tried to seem as invisible as possible. He briefly wondered if she looked like this every year for the festival, and if he just had not noticed until now. The feeling of guilt made itself apparent as he remembered the past few years where all he did was focus on the dance with Haley and then get out as fast as possible. His eyes continued scanning the area, eventually finding Robin with her husband Demetrius and her daughter Maru. Once Robin noticed him, they both nodded at each other carefully. They were a long way from friends, but at least they could acknowledge each other’s existence now. Demetrius, unaware of the tense eye contact his wife was holding, dragged her by the hand onto the dance floor, leaving their daughter behind. Maru was also wearing one of the traditional blue dresses, meaning she would be part of the flower waltz for the first time. She appeared to look around for a familiar face, eventually finding Harvey and approaching him with a smile. The town doctor was also wearing a blue suit for the first time, and judging by their friendship, Alex figured the two would be dancing together. Since Maru worked as a nurse for Harvey, the jock felt a bit odd at the idea of the two dancing in a romantic event. Then again, he was not dancing with a romantic interest either. Him and Haley had tried dating in high school for a solid three weeks, but they both realized they were better off as friends. She would often complain about a lack of sparks and fireworks when they kissed, much to the detriment of his confidence. He quickly shook off those memories, still trying to find a certain someone in the crowd, but the farmer was nowhere to be seen. Combined with the lack of response to his text message the day before, Alex began to worry. He checked his phone and there were still a few hours until the flower waltz. He quickly walked over to Haley who was still dancing to the music. He tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. Annoyed at being interrupted while dancing, she raised her furrowed brows at him. 

“Hey, I will disappear for a bit. I promise I’ll be back for the dance, okay?” Alex did not stick around for a response, which did not keep Haley from trying. “Wait, where are you…? Hey! You better be back!” She shouted after him, causing a few people to turn around and look at her. With a simple glare back, all the prying eyes stopped, and Haley continued dancing on her own.

Alex made his way through the small crowd at the entrance, walking quickly in the direction of the farm. Unfortunately, even with his quickened pace, the farm was still a solid thirty-minute walk away. He arrived at the southern overgrown parts of the farm and traversed the area with great care, making sure he did not get his suit dirty. If he did, Haley would surely have his head. Eventually, he found the crop fields, and in the middle was Jacob. 

“Hey farm boy, not joining the Flower Dance?” He shouted in the other man’s direction, the farmer’s entire body tensing up as it got his attention. He was not wearing a shirt, revealing a bruised and scratched upper body. He was carrying his watering can with a pained grimace, slowly limping from plant to plant. Alex hesitated in shock, his worry increasing at the view.

“Wait, what happened to you?” Alex began to run over to him, carefully avoiding stepping on any crops. He placed a hand on the shorter man’s shoulder, inspecting the wounds, but it was swiftly shrugged off. 

“I tripped.” Jacob responded quietly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. The man turned around and continued his watering duties, ignoring the worried jock behind him. 

“Dude, you can barely walk! You shouldn’t be doing any physical exercise! Let me help at least.” Alex practically shouted at him, the worry in his voice was apparent. He tried to take away the watering can from Jacob with no success. 

“The farm needs work whether I’m fine or not. And get away before you get your pretty suit dirty.” Usually, the words would have been a joke or a bit of banter, but the farmer’s voice was unusually cold. The taller man wanted to continue offering his help, not caring about the dance as much as he cared about a friend in trouble, but something was off. Jacob’s eyes seemed hostile and his body never relaxed from the tension since the other man arrived. A sense of recognition to how he treated Jacob a few days before made itself apparent in Alex’ head. 

“Did I do something to hurt you? Jake, I’m sorry if I did. But you said we can talk about things, right? I just want to help.” He practically whimpered when he spoke. The athlete was still not used to apologizing, but he was terrified of having already ruined a new friendship. The shorter man scoffed in response.

“Just let me do my work here and go back to your dance. You’re making this take way too long. And don’t ever call me Jake.” He avoided even looking into the visitor’s direction as he spoke. The green eyes were now staring daggers into his back. 

“Hey, you did not let me get away with my shitty behavior and I’m not gonna leave you alone either!” Alex responded with anger, grabbing Jacob’s arm and forcing him to turn around to face him. The other man tried to remove himself from the grip but failed. 

“Well, you’re shit at it so why don’t you just let me go and fuck off?” They both stared at each other. Jacob spoke with an empty voice, devoid of any emotion despite the harsh nature of the words. Alex expected anger, yelling or even crying. Instead, he was looking at a man that just seemed empty, and it stung. He went over to check in on someone he was worried about, and that person did not even care in the slightest. He tightened his grip around the farmer’s arm before pushing him back. Jacob winced in pain as he put too much weight on his injured leg to keep himself from falling over. They continued staring at each other. 

“Guess I just got lucky on those days you were being a decent person.” Alex whispered before turning around and leaving. He did not look back once as he walked away, and the only response from Jacob was the sound of him continuing to water his plants. 

\- 

Alex waited outside the Flower Dance until he was calm again. Jacob had managed to rile him up enough to the point of shaking and he did not want Haley to realize it. Eventually, he felt calm enough to head back into the crowd. More people were now dancing, and he still had some spare time before the dance with Haley. He tried to grab himself a drink but was interrupted by someone hugging him from behind. He caught a glimpse of blonde hair before the smell of her perfume hit his nose. He could have figured that only Haley would do such a thing. Alex tried his best to make his smile seem genuine as he turned around to her. He was met by sad eyes staring right into his. 

“You’re hurting again, aren’t you?” The worry in her voice was clear as day. He could not understand how she read him like a book every single time before he could even say a word. Sadly, she was right, and it sucked. He simply nodded and pulled her back into a hug. 

“Can we just get this over with so I can go home?” He whispered into her ear, tightening the hug. She nodded slowly into his chest. 

“If you want, we can skip this dance too. It’s just a stupid dance, after all.” Haley spoke softly so only Alex would hear. Now it was his turn to read her like a book and recognize that she was lying. The dance had always meant a lot to her, and it meant the world to him that she would be willing to give it up so he could go home. He wanted to hug her even tighter but was afraid he would break her bones. “My best friend deserves this stupid dance with stupid me.” Despite feeling anything but alright, he found himself chuckling and the girl in his arms joined in. 

When the time came, they performed their dance flawlessly. All the practice paid off and Alex was able to focus on his dancing partner. Every person that watched, every other person that was involved in the group dance, none of them mattered. For the few minutes, Alex did not care if some of the people staring actually hated him. He forgot about his fight with Jacob. Nothing mattered compared to seeing the smile on Haley’s face as she danced. This was her moment, and he would do his best to make it a memorable one. When they finished, everyone around them clapped and cheered. Evelyn approached them with two flower crowns, placing them on their heads. Alex had to kneel down so she could reach his head, getting a giggle out of Haley in response. 

“For my handsome boy and his beautiful friend. You two looked wonderful.” The old lady said as she pulled them both into a hug. Even George seemed to smile from the sidelines. Alex walked over to him and gave him a hug as well, much to the old man’s surprise. He felt calm and happy now. He had a supportive best friend and two (mostly) loving grandparents. Who needed that farmer anyways?


	8. A Broken Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Fair warning, this chapter contains an explicit scene.  
> Hope you enjoy Jacob's further descent into self-pity <3

The last week of spring was nothing short of agony for Jacob. He had mistimed the planting of some of the crops, which resulted in all of them being ready to be harvested at the same time. He tried his best to take care of everything, but his injuries made him slow and irritated. He cursed every step he needed to make, every vegetable he had to pick up and, most importantly, every friend he was neglecting. He had not gone to the village in five days, which made some of its inhabitants worry. He replied to their texts with messages long enough to prevent people from running to his place to check up on him, but short enough to allow him not to think about his friends too much. The new farmer was hurting from guilt more than from the fall. His wounds and bruises had faded slightly and, if he was to be honest with himself, they did not hurt that much anymore. Yet they were still noticeable, and with every step he remembered falling in front of Demetrius, talking about Robin, realizing he was meddling in Alex’s life and lastly, pushing the man away when all he wanted was to care for him. Being helped was something Jacob had never allowed. He was independent to a fault, and would have rather struggled through life than let himself feel like a charity case. No matter how often his friends assured him that it was alright to accept help, or how often he himself helped others because it felt good, accepting help felt anything but right. It made him feel weak and useless, just like he felt when he was getting beaten up in the school courtyard or being berated by his parents for making those harmless mistakes every child makes. Everything made him feel useless. Alex clearly did not need his help after all and did just fine on his own. Jacob wished he could say the same about himself. He was looking like a mess and feeling even worse. If he had not had a farm to take care of, he would have spent the past few days in bed, wallowing in self-pity. Instead, he felt obligated to take care of the dog, of the chickens, of the crops that would feed the town. That, at the very least, was making him feel somewhat useful after all.

He rested on his front porch for a moment after finishing the last potato field. He played with a tear in his jeans, making it bigger by accident and revealing the scratches on the skin underneath. He despised himself for the way the past week had gone. What hurt more was that he felt powerless in stopping himself from making things worse. He cancelled his plans to play games in the saloon for the evening instead of talking to his friends about what was going on. He knew that they would be understanding and supportive and would make him feel better, but he could not allow himself to accept their help. That was what it all came back to, in the end, and it made him furious enough to punch the wooden post next to him. The resulting noise alerted Fen, who carefully approached the stairs. His big brown eyes looked at the broken farmer, unsure of how to help. The dog could sense that something was wrong, but Jacob had pushed him away as well when it had tried to cuddle up to him. Suddenly, the farmer jumped up and grabbed his larger backpack. Fen began wagging his tail, expecting a hike through the forest, but instead, he was told to wait at the farm as his owner left without as much as a single glance back. 

Jacob had delayed buying the seeds for the summer to the best of his ability, but he figured it was time to finally do it, despite the shop being dangerously close to Alex’s house. No matter how much he tried to drown himself in work, farming did not get his mind off things and all hopes of moving on like nothing had happened had been destroyed. When he arrived at Pierre’s, he was relieved to not see the familiar gridball varsity jacket anywhere outside. He kept the small talk with the red-headed shopkeeper short, only thinking about disappearing as fast as it was possible. He filled his backpack with seeds to the brim, requiring additional bags for the food for him and the dog. As he began to leave, the door opened before he could reach for the handle and, on the other side of it, appeared the owner of the cursed green jacket, grabbed onto by a giggling blonde girl. Alex and Haley must have had a funny experience, because the latter could barely walk from laughing and had to hold onto the tall man just to keep herself on her feet. Seeing both of them so happy made Jacob sick to his stomach. The feeling grew worse when he noticed how quickly the gridball player’s smile faded, turning into a cold, angry stare facing in his direction. The farmer desperately squeezed past them in a successful attempt to get out of the shop as quickly as possible. No words were exchanged. The silence from the previously giggling pair was now deafening. Jacob walked as fast as he could out of the village, practically running back to his farm. The exhaustion from the heavy backpack and the gut-wrenching feeling caused by the guilt made it impossible for him to him to hold his lunch down, and he threw up into some bushes on the side of the path just outside the farm. A flock of birds quickly took to the sky, startled by the loud noise that escaped the man’s throat. He screamed as soon as the last drop of vomit landed on the floor. It was a guttural scream, filled with pain and guilt. He was sad, angry and disappointed all at once, and it was too much for him to take. Things needed to change, or he could not keep up with this much longer. He dropped the bags on the ground, sitting down only a few steps away from the pool of his own vomit. He broke out in cold sweats, his entire body trembling. He awkwardly fumbled for his phone, dropping it in the process. His shaking hand-picked it back up and tried to navigate to the messaging app. He needed to send something to Alex, but pressing his trembling fingers onto the phone screen felt like an impossible task. Alerted by the sound of his scream, Fen had ran up to him, barking loudly, before Jacob could write a single word. The dog nudged against its owner’s legs and barked at him, trying to get a response. It did not give up until the leg pushed back, which was enough to stop the barking. It slowly sat down, carefully eyeing the man. Meanwhile, Jacob had managed to formulate the first message. 

**Jacob 2:36 pm:** “I’m not okay. I need help, but I can’t accept help.”

He managed a few deep breaths, calming his fingers down enough to send a second message.

 **Jacob 2:38 pm:** “I’m a mess and you deserve something else. I should have stayed away.”

It was not an apology as much as it was an admission of guilt. It came far too late to heal the damage, but he prayed to Yoba it would not make things worse. He was unsure of how much time had passed as he sat in the dirt, waiting for a response that did not seem to come. Alex had read the messages, the app indicated as much, but sent nothing in return. Tears started forming in Jacob’s eyes as she slowly stood back up. He grabbed his bags and walked back to his house, ordering Fen to follow him. His eyes were blurry as he stored away the food. He left the backpack with seeds untouched after he threw it next to the door. Instead, he just dropped onto the couch and finally allowed himself to feel the pity he so desired. 

With the arrival of the first days of summer, the events that had transpired seemed distant enough for Jacob to resume a semblance of a normal life. He spent Monday and Tuesday planting the summer crops, and it was finally enough to get his mind off things. There was still a lack of response from Alex, and Abigail and friends had stopped checking in on him every few hours. The former still bothered him while the latter was a relief. He had the time to move on from a ruined friendship and a mental breakdown at his own pace. It was almost funny to him how all of it had started with a letter from his mother and how that woman still had the talent to ruin his days, despite being so far away. He actually found himself laughing at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Maybe, he has finally gone mad, he thought to himself. He did not care much about that prospect. The weather forecast announcing rain for the next day, Jacob began preparing for a trip into the mines. The crops would get watered on their own, his dog preferred to sleep away the bad weather and Pierre’s would be closed. All of it combined into a perfect day to delve into a dank cave to gather some ore. He called Clint to get an explanation of how the mines were structured and ask what to watch out for. It did not sound like the safest way to spend his time, but fortunately, his current mindset made high risk sound all the more tempting. He stocked his backpack with sandwiches for lunch, several batteries for his torch and a towel to dry off before venturing into the mines so the colder air inside would sting less. 

When the morning came around, he quickly fed the chickens and filled up Fen’s bowl with enough food to last the day. He propped the front door open so the dog could let itself out to pee just in case, certain that no visitors would let themselves in. The farmer put on his thickest jeans and a warm hoodie before covering himself with his rain jacket. The hood pulled up, his backpack on and the axe and pickaxe ready, he began the long walk towards the mines through the summer rain. His path led him past Robin’s house and he instinctively averted his eyes, as if that could shield him from the unpleasant memories it conjured. It did make him realize the landslide had been removed, however. He made a mental note to inspect what was behind it after he was done with the mine. 

As he arrived at the entrance, he quickly grabbed his towel to dry off his face. The wind was not strong, but it was enough to make protection from the rain near impossible. Judging by how the entrance was already much colder than the outside air, Jacob feared the temperatures further down the mine. Therefore, he took his time to dry off and left his rain jacket upstairs. Clint had mentioned that he should use the elevator to go down to the fifth level for some copper ore. The rusty piece of metal at the other side of the cavern, however, did not appear to be trustworthy. He inspected the metal bars that functioned as a door, happy that they opened easily, at least. The inside of the elevator was equipped with some rails so that minecarts containing ore could be transported upstairs more easily. As the clicked the button for the fifth floor, it lit up with a soft yellow light and a dinging noise. Gears began to turn, and the sounds of squeaky machinery accompanied his descent into the mines. The deeper he went, the more the air smelled of dank dirt. He found himself thinking that it was not far removed from the smell inside of the community center. The elevator came to a halt rather abruptly, allowing him to open the door and exit into a large open cavern. Jacob turned on the lantern that was placed on the floor in front of him and started inspecting the place. The mine had clearly been extensively used, which made finding ore a bit more difficult. On the other hand, there were a lot of support beams that made his job slightly less suicidal. A system of rails and abandoned minecarts meant he would not have to carry any more for long distances. He began removing chunks of the greenish-brown ore, searching for the greenest parts he could possibly find. Clint had explained how the green color indicated larger copper content, which in return meant less ore was needed. He broke off bigger chunks from the wall and then hacked away at them until they were small enough to carry to the minecarts. The work was exhausting, and he found himself spending more time taking breaks then he did working. By mid-afternoon, he had managed to fill a single cart with usable ore. He had also managed to gain an intimate knowledge of how the dust made his sandwich taste a lot more disgusting than it needed to. Nevertheless, he managed to load the minecart into the elevator and squeeze in with it. Despite the noises of struggling machinery, he made his way to the top floor. The daylight coming in was an appreciated sight and the found himself wondering how the miners could spend day after day in the dark cave. Despite it being a cloudy day, it still seemed to be too much for his eyes at first. When he eventually adjusted to it, he began loading the ore from the minecart he had filled to the one installed at the entrance. That one apparently lead straight to the blacksmith’s place and was how Jacob was supposed to deliver the ore and his axe he wanted to upgrade. The minecart had a motor installed to it and a simple ON and OFF button. Despite Clint’s reassurances that it would stop on its own when it arrived, he still hesitated in letting the minecart go off alone. He gingerly placed his axe next to the heaps of ore he had loaded inside, praying to Yoba it would all arrive safely. The farmer sighed and pressed the ON button, which started up the motor immediately, accompanied by the smell of gasoline. It slowly began to move forwards, steadily speeding up as it went along the rail leading underground until it disappeared out of sight. A part of Jacob considered running after it to see where it went, but he had spent enough in a dangerous cave system for one day for his taste. Instead, he picked up his jacket and headed out into the rain.

By now, the rain had picked up and was pouring down hard enough to soak through his jacket and clothes. Trekking through the resulting mud, he began his walk to where the landslide had been removed. He figured since he could not possibly get any more wet, he could afford the detour. The newly opened path lead further up the mountain, clearly manmade as a way though parts of it. The way opened up a few minutes later, revealing an area encased by the mountain. A rail and a rundown train station revealed that long ago, Stardew Valley must have had some sort of public transport available. On the other side of the area, the rail lead into dark tunnels, the lights inside now clearly broken. Once more, Jacob found himself highly uninterested in entering another dark place. Much to his surprise, there was a much better maintained building nearby. As he approached it, he could see a large sign reading “HOT SPRINGS/ GYM/ SPA” positioned above the double door that marked the entrance. He felt pure glee when he realized there was light on the inside and the door could be opened. He swiftly entered, giddy at the idea of soaking in a hot spring after a day in the mines. A notice board at the entrance explained now it was free for use, maintained and sponsored by Joja. The mention of his old workplace slightly soured his experience, but he was glad that at least they would not profit off it.

Jacob entered the men’s locker room, finding it as empty as the rest of the building was. He stored his backpack in one of the lockers, taking out the towel which he was now even more glad to have brought with him. He practically ripped the wet clothes off his body, hanging them up wherever he could. He found a small functioning heater on which he placed his drenched pants in the hopes of putting on some dry and warm jeans once he was done. The farmer caught his naked reflection in one of the mirrors, carefully eyeing his own body. He was surprised to see how much it had changed since he started working at the farm. Ignoring the scars and the bruises he had collected, the daily protein shakes seemed to do their job. He noticed some muscles that had definitely not been there a few weeks ago or were hidden underneath a healthy layer of fat. While he had spent the past week hating himself, he did find himself feeling pride at his progress for one blissful moment. He followed the signs towards the hot spring with only a towel wrapped around his waist. The sound of heavy breathing caught his attention shortly after making his way out of the locker room. He followed the noise, finding himself at the entrance to the gym area, and poked his head around the corner to find the source of those labored breaths. 

Just a few meters away from him, laying on his back on top of a bench in between some weights, he recognized Alex. The athlete was shirtless, and as Jacob’s eyes followed further along his body, he realized his pants were at his ankles. The muscular man was drenched in sweat and, much to Jacob’s surprise and joy, Alex was jerking off. The man’s eyes were closed, enjoying the sensation of his right hand running up and down the shaft of his above average cock with a slight twist. With every movement, his hips involuntarily thrusted into his hand, as if the mere movement of his elbow was not enough. His left hand was gently caressing his own nipples, squeezing and pulling at them as soft moans escaped his throat. Jacob watched in awe at every single muscle movement that the athlete’s body made as he pleasured himself. He stared at the man’s foreskin effortlessly sliding back and forth on the head, lubed up by a mixture of sweat, spit and precum. The glistening liquid dripped down his cock agonizingly slow, a further detail in the artwork that presented itself in front of Jacob. He could feel himself hardening underneath the towel, and he was unsure for how long he sat there staring, but the athlete did not seem to realize he was being watched. He was too focused on his own body and the pleasure he was deriving from it, smiling more and more with every stroke. A smarter man would have blessed his luck to have witnessed such a beautiful display and moved away before he got caught staring but, in that moment, Jacob was not feeling smart. He had to say something, and the only thing that came to his mind was a dumb joke.

“I thought you were supposed to be pumping iron here, not your dick.” The sound of Jacob’s voice startled the other man. He quickly attempted to cover himself up, his hand failing to hide the entire length of his member. He tried to jump up but ended up hitting his head against the barbell above him. The caught man cursed Yoba’s name as the pain made him slide off the bench. Jacob quickly looked over to make sure that he was not seriously injured. Alex’s eyes showed fear and confusion, his hands fumbling to pull his shorts over his erection, his face burning red with embarrassment. 

“Make sure to wipe the bench after you’re done,” Jacob added before turning around. He was not sure how to recover from this situation and he was not even the one that got caught jerking off in a public space. In hindsight, a second dumb joke was not the best idea, especially considering his history with Alex, but the athlete did not respond, nor did he follow when the farmer left for the hot springs. Jacob quickly hopped in the showers to wash away the soot and the dirt from the mines, the only other person in the building still nowhere to be seen. He quietly chuckled to himself at the hilarity of the situation. This might have been the least likely thing he had expected to happen between him and Alex. It was not like he hadn’t fantasized about what the man looked like naked, but a part of his lower body really seemed to enjoy the confirmation. He turned the shower water to cold to calm himself down. A minute later, he turned it off entirely and began to walk towards the hot springs, glad that the signs validated his choice of going without clothing. He entered the steamy room, removing his towel and placing it on a rail near the water. He sat down on the ledge, dangling his feet into the warm water. It smelled slightly sulfuric, but not in an unpleasant way. Jacob slowly lowered himself into the water, noticing a tingling sensation as the water touched his still cold skin. He folded his arms on the ledge, resting his head on them as his feet barely touched the floor of the pool. He could feel his muscles relax in the warm water, sighing in relief as the tingling stopped. He had barely closed his eyes when the sound of shoes stomping on the tile floor got his attention. Alex stormed in, now completely dressed in his gym attire, a burning fire in his eyes as he stared intently at Jacob.

“I swear to Yoba, I will kill you if you tell anyone what you saw!” he started shouting. Jacob was unsure if the dominant emotion in the athlete’s voice was fear or anger. This was a new side of Alex he was unfamiliar with, so he chose to remain quiet, just staring back at him. The lack of a response just seemed to anger the other man even more.

“What is fucking wrong with you!? Is everything just a dumb joke to you!? Say something, asshole!” His voice cracked as he was yelling, now crystal clear that he was furious. Still, Jacob could not muster a response. He turned his head away in shame, slightly lowering himself into the water.

“Is this how it is now!? You just ignore everything I say!? Two weeks ago, you were supportive and cared for me and now I don’t even deserve an answer anymore!? What the fuck did I do wrong!?” The hurt and the betrayal in Alex’s voice were glaringly obvious, and yet they paled in comparison to the agony Jacob felt when he realized that, in spite of everything he did to the jock, the stupid idiot blamed himself.

“I ignore your text, I push you away out of nowhere and lock myself in my farm for a week and you think it’s your fault...?” he asked, his voice surprisingly meek. Alex did not seem to expect that reply, his eyes now widening in confusion. Jacob punched himself in the forehead in frustration. “I act like a complete asshole and you kind-hearted idiot think it’s your fault?” They were both looking at each other sheepishly, the anger in the room deflating. Alex nodded faintly. 

“I…I don’t even know how to apologize to you. I fucked up. Big time. You got caught up in my mess of a life, and I am so sorry, Alex,” he stammered his way through his answer. The taller man sat down on the wet floor, shaking his head in confusion but continuing to listen. 

Alex…I have a lot of problems in my life, and they ended up hurting you. I don’t know how to explain it all, but I beg you to accept my apology. Know that I will take full responsibility for the pain I’ve caused.” Jacob’s head began to spin and ache, the sulfuric smell of the water reminding him of the personal hell he had built himself. 

“So…You don’t hate me?” Alex asked quietly. He looked so small and lost, in glaring contrast with his large stature. An involuntary chuckle, caused by the anxiety of the situation, escaped Jacob’s lips. 

“Yoba, no! I hate myself. More than you can imagine, and more with every stupid thing that I did. The only reason I got involved with you and Robin is because I thought that if I could deal with your problems, I wouldn’t have to face my own. It was horribly toxic, and I shouldn’t have meddled, not with that mindset. I should have done it because I care for you, if anything. Or better yet, I should have just supported you while you worked on it. I guess you did not need my support in the end, which makes it so much worse that I forced my way into it as if you depended on me.” His heart was beating fast, every pulse making the pain in his head worse. The world was spinning around him, but Alex’s look of confusion was clear as day.

“I don’t understand,” the jock whispered. Jacob nodded in response. He whispered a simple “sorry”, unsure of what to say or how to proceed. 

“But I want to understand, so please explain everything. I want to know what’s really going on.” The athlete’s voice gained volume as he spoke, his confidence building up with every word. Through the steam in the air, Jacob noticed a smile on his face.

“You deserve that, I’ll admit. Can we do it when we are equally dressed, though?” Jacob chuckled, pointing to his evident lack of clothes. Alex’s smile widened in response as he stood up. He grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head, throwing it to the side. He pushed off his shoes and socks before pulling down his shorts and underwear in one brief motion. Standing naked before Jacob, he jumped over the farmer and dived in the water behind him. Part of the resulting wave ended up in Jacob’s open mouth, now looking more confused than Alex ever did. As the athlete resurfaced, he shook the water off his hair and smiled at Jacob. 

“You’ve seen it before, I guess. Now that we’re wearing the same thing, you talk.”


	9. Reforging Friendships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some more explicit conversation happening in this chapter.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the most awkward position Jacob has found himself in yet. :)

Jacob was glad the lighting in the spa was dim enough for Alex not to notice just how hard he was blushing. He could not believe the other man had just stripped in front of him in order to have a conversation. He admired the balls on him, both figuratively and literally for a moment, to get away with such a cocky act. An uncomfortable chuckle escaped his lips, unsure of how to proceed. The athlete next to him smiled, all the anger and the fear from moments ago now completely faded away. Jacob slowly sank deeper into the water, exhaling and watching the bubbles rise to the surface. He was feeling stupid and wanted nothing more than to run away, but he was given an underserved second chance, and he would have to make it count. Alex had offered to listen and had earned to know what was going on, or at least understand the issues, as well as the person dealing with them. As the silence lingered on, the jock was still patiently waiting. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know where to start,” Jacob began. He could see the gears turning in the other man’s head as he thought of ways to help.

“Tell me what happened between us talking in my room and you pushing me away at the farm,” was the reply. Alex was still smiling as he spoke. His words could have been accusatory, but Jacob knew he was just genuinely curious because he cared. That made him happy.

“I got a letter from my mother. We don’t get along much.” He paused, his heart telling him to go on but his brain begging him to stop thinking about it. The heart was racing, eager to fight for this one. “She’s very manipulative and not very loving, although she would claim the opposite. Always tried to buy my love, unable to understand why money could not replace years and years of emotional distance and neglect. She’s not happy with my choice of quitting my job to take over my grandpa’s run-down farm.” Jacob sighed defeated, his head lowered. He could feel the weight of Alex’s hand on his shoulder as the other man tried to gently comfort him. 

“I just kind of spiralled from there. Got caught in an endless cycle of hating myself for nothing, and then hating myself for letting myself spiral and suddenly everything I have ever done felt like the gravest of sins. A terribly manipulative act I only did in order to have control instead of doing it out of kindness. Does that make sense?” He finally found the strength to look in the athlete’s green eyes. They were still focused on his. He could tell how much effort Alex was putting into listening to him and truly trying to understand.

“No, it doesn’t. You’re not manipulative,” he replied calmly. The way he stated that as if it were painfully self-evident made Jacob feel like he was the dumbest person in the world. The other man’s view of him simply did not agree with his own, and the way those green eyes were piercing right through his soul made him almost willing to trust Alex more than he trusted himself. He could not help but chuckle faintly at the reply. It was not funny, but it caught him off guard.

“And are you sure I didn’t manipulate you into thinking that? I feel like I can’t even trust me not to trick my own self.” He dove back into the water. Something about the warm liquid completely enveloping him felt more comforting than looking at some who cared for him. Affection felt dirty and wrong. He was, however, pulled back up by a pair of strong arms and a long sigh from their owner.

“No more pushing me away and no more hiding, Jacob. Don’t force me to pin you to the ground so we can talk.” The smile had faded from the athlete’s face. He did not look angry, just annoyed enough to make Alex frown in guilt. He mumbled an apology in response, his eyes awkwardly darting around the room to avoid eye contact. “If someone catches you pining me down while naked, the whole town will be talking about that,” he joked out of reflex. 

Alex sighed louder this time. “I know you’re not manipulating me because you’re a shit liar. And it’s obvious that you joke about things when you’re uncomfortable. You’re not fooling me, farm boy.” A smile reappeared on his face, the cocky kind that would have pissed off the farmer when he first arrived. Now, though, it felt appropriate and well deserved. He knew deflecting the issue would not work this time around.

“Was that enough talking about my feelings for now, though? I am not good at opening up,” Jacob pleaded, trying his best puppy eyes with Alex. The athlete scoffed in response, which made the farmer realize they may not be working this time around. “I don’t think this was everything, but we can take a break. I think we should talk more often.” Alex placed his hand back on the shorter man’s shoulder. Enjoying that sensation more than he cared to admit, Jacob found himself slightly leaning into it. It made him smile as he looked up.

“I agree, we really should. I appreciate you, Alex. You’re a good man. Thanks for not giving up on me even though I was a dick.” He wanted to hug the other man, but decided to delay that until they both got dressed. The taller man shrugged before wrapping his arm around Jacob to pull him closer. Clearly, he did not mind their current state of undress when it came to physical contact. “I can be quite stubborn, get used to it,” he laughed, while Jacob struggled to free himself from the athlete’s grasp. He eventually surrendered to his fate, just gently kicking in the water to stay afloat.

“Can I ask you a question now?” Jacob gingerly asked, the grip finally allowing him to breathe freely again. Alex nodded.

“Well, you see, I don’t joke just when I’m uncomfortable, but sometimes to also wildly change the topic. So why were you jerking off in a public gym?” He instinctively dodged out of the way in case the other man had tried to grapple him again for asking that question. To his surprise, Alex seemed to have been shocked into silence. He could not help but laugh at the view of the giant man looking utterly helpless because of a question. The stammering that followed just made him laugh even louder.

“I, uh, well, you see…no one ever shows up here. And so, uh, I thought this was more private than my bedroom where grandma just keeps entering without ever knocking. Also, ehm, working just gets me riled up sometimes and I was also frustrated with you and needed some release. And I got away with it for years until you ruined it!” Now they were both looking stunned. Jacob wasn’t actually expecting an answer, much less one that was more than just an admission of being a hormonal guy. 

“I guess I feel flattered that thinking of me made you jerk off,” he joked again out of discomfort. He was also painfully aware that he had jerked off while thinking of Alex in a much more direct way. Luckily for him, the other one was not aware of that.

“That’s not what I meant!” The athlete shouted helplessly, his arms flailing in the air. Their eyes caught each other’s again. This time, it was if someone had deflated a balloon of tension as they both began to laugh. The noise filled the room for what felt like an eternity, as Jacob could barely keep himself afloat with his stomach hurting from the laughter. Alex noticed the other man diving under and swiftly pulled him to the edge of the pool, wiping away tears of mirth with the back of his other hand. Once he had calmed himself down enough, Jacob exited the pool to grab his towel. He swiftly dried himself off and wrapped it around his waist. Alex stayed behind, now looking a little lost as he was helplessly staring at the farmer. “I did not bring a towel,” he whispered, his eyes now darting to the clothes he had ripped off before jumping into the pool. Jacob scoffed with a smile on his face, raising an eyebrow at the athlete.

“Oh, look who’s being modest about his body now. Don’t want to run to the locker room naked and show off some more?” His teasing did not seem to bother Alex at all, as if he did not even understand it. “But what if you slipped on the floor and got hurt because I made it wet?” he asked, confused. Jacob hoped it was a joke but he knew better. The dumb jock was actually that considerate while being too oblivious to ask Jacob to go grab his towel for him. 

“Wait here,” the farmer told the man in the pool, rolling his eyes. Jacob swiftly walked to the gym area where Alex’s towel was still places on the bench. He chuckled as he remembered that about half an hour ago there was a naked man on top of it. He made sure to grab it at a corner, just in case there was a sticky surprise waiting for him, and brought it back to the hot spring area. All modesty concerns were thrown out of the window when he found the other man in the water on his back, his entire body on display. Jacob rolled his eyes again, thinking just how hot Alex was while also being fully aware of it. He cleared his throat to get the attention of the floating man, who quickly made his way out of the pool by pushing himself up on a ledge. He stayed in that position as the water was dripping off his body, only using his legs to stand up once the worst was over. Jacob tried to have the decency to look away, but he still ended up peaking more than once. When the towel was ripped from his hands, he turned around to prevent himself from staring some more. Eventually, the other man appeared into view with the towel wrapped around his waist, holding his clothes under his left arm. His pubes were peeking out ever so slightly, and Jacob cursed himself once more for glancing at the sculpted body in front of him. He scratched the back of his head as he averted his gaze, trying to focus his mind on something else. He was quickly brought back to reality when he felt the towel he was wearing being torn away. Alex had grabbed it and began running away into the hallway. “Race you to the showers!” he shouted, holding Jacob’s towel up like a flag. Jacob instinctively covered himself up with both hands while running after him. “You really are such a jock, has anyone ever told you that?” he shouted back while giving chase, clearly slower than the trained athlete.

Both men freshly showered and dressed, they were now standing in the entry hall of the building. They were watching as the rain kept pouring down, neither one of them eager to head out. They made themselves comfortable on a bench, the sound of rain hitting the mud outside breaking the silence. Alex looked over at the farmer next to him, a smile on his face. He gently nudged him with his elbow, waiting to speak until their eyes met.

“Mind if I run to your farm to chat sometimes?” His smile grew wider as he spoke. Jacob groaned slightly, but his features remained friendly. He raised an eyebrow at Alex. “You really want me to hurry with opening up, do you?” he chuckled, averting his gaze and looking out the window at the never-ending rain. It felt serene to just sit and watch it fall with Alex by his side. His eyes searched for the athlete’s green eyes, finding them looking back at him in return. It was difficult to believe that the big jock had managed to get through to him while he was drowning in self-pity, but it made him feel grateful. He was glad he had found the other man today, even if the situation happened to be awkward for more reasons than just their past. After their conversation, though, he could say he felt comfortable with Alex. Maybe with time, he would feel safe next to him. 

“I want to get to know you more. I feel like we only ever talked about me when we were hanging out.” Alex hit the other man’s shoulder as a sign of friendship, Jacob’s whole body shaking from the impact. They both chuckled as the farmer rubbed the spot where he got hit. A long, drawn out sigh escaped Jacob’s mouth as he leaned back. He waited a few more seconds before he began to speak.

“How about Friday? I think I need a day to digest everything,” he said quietly. To his surprise, Alex extended his right hand to him. His pinky finger was held out as he leaned in with a serious look on his face. Jacob laughed as he joined in on the pinky promise, their fingers interlocking. “I promise I will talk to you on Friday, Alex,” he added, the other man smiling in return. 

“I will come by in the morning. I can help you water the crops or whatever it is that you do there,” the taller man eagerly replied. He stood up from the bench, flattening out the creases in his pants. He took a deep breath and stretched with his arms over his head. Jacob figured he should get up as well. Hoping for the rain to ever slow down or even stop seemed to be a foolish idea.

“I have other business to attend to, can’t sit on my ass all day,” Alex joked while continuing his stretching. Jacob raised an eyebrow at him with a smirk on his face. “You mean the business in the middle of which I interrupted you?” he added with a wink. The athlete turned beet red within a couple of seconds as comprehension dawned on his face. He froze in place, holding his breath while thinking of a way to recover from Jacob’s teasing. His thinking was interrupted by the impact of the shorter man’s body wrapping itself around him in a tight hug. The farmer’s head nuzzled into the jock’s shoulder, Alex returning the hug. 

“Thanks. I owe you,” Jacob whispered, his voice cracking as he spoke. His body trembling did not go unnoticed by the other man, who only tightened the embrace in response. “Hey, you’re alright. I got you,” Alex whispered back to the crying man. They remained in this position for a while longer before Jacob started wiggling his way out of the embrace. He wiped away the tears from his face, trying to force a laughter. “Stupid emotions, eh? Sorry about that.” He chuckled some more, but Alex did not join in. Instead, he pulled him back into a hug, squeezing hard. His hands gently stroked Jacob’s back. 

“I don’t know what to do in these situations. But you get to feel and be honest with me, okay?” he responded, looking down at the man in his arms. Jacob silently disagreed. Alex knew exactly what to do to calm him down. The dimly lit room faded away for the farmer as that embrace became all that mattered to him. He felt nothing but pure greed for this moment. He wanted to devour every sensation he was experiencing. The smell of the athlete’s freshly showered body, the texture of the green jacket against his face, the welcoming warmth of Alex’s chest. Jacob bit his lower lip, hiding his face in the other man’s shoulder. He knew they needed to part soon, but he just wanted this moment to go on forever. It was the first moment in years he felt that things would be alright. It was a feeling that felt distant the second the arms around him pulled back, far too soon for his liking. A glance on the smiling jock’s face gave glimpses of more hope. Hope that this would happen again. The same hope that made him walk back home through the rain with his head held high. He had one day to think, and then he would have felt this again. It took just one day of introspection for him to realise he wanted Alex to be more than just a friend. The greed for his arms, his smile, his words, his heart was still there. The selfish desire to experience those things again and again or the world could not be alright. The primal need to make the other man experience the same. It did not require much thinking from there. Many philosophers and poets alike had agreed on the cause for his feelings. They referred to it as love. 

Jacob’s rational side considered it too soon, telling him it was just a crush. Maybe more of a physical attraction, or maybe he had been too lonely and sad, and Alex was there to fill that void. He was there despite being pushed away. Instead of walking away, he pushed back and proceeded to push some more, straight through Jacob’s defences. He would have continued to be there the next day in spite of everything. That was where Jacob’s rational side was failing, because it was not capable of explaining why someone would show him this much kindness.

When Friday came around, Jacob caught himself constantly glancing towards the entrance of the farm. He was anxious about meeting Alex, but also excited. Every sound that did not come from him watering the crops caused his eyes to dart around, hoping to find the athlete. Unfortunately for his sanity, most of the sounds just stemmed from Fen chasing birds away. By 10 AM he had been conditioned to ignore the dog’s running and barking. Instead, he quickly honed in on the noise of a jogging athlete running towards him with heavy footfalls. Alex’s grey tank top was drenched in sweat, as were his face and hair. He was carrying a heavy-looking backpack with him which he quickly took off when he was a few steps away from Jacob. He whispered a greeting, the lack of breath preventing him from being able to make the sound travel. Instead, Jacob pulled him into a quick hug with a smile on his lips. Their bodies touched for barely a second, and yet all the moisture seemed to have transferred to his shirt instead. The shorter man placed the watering can on the ground, picking up the backpack instead and pointing at the porch. 

“Want a break? I need one, at least,” Jacob offered. He did not really need one, but he figured he could shield the athlete’s pride this way. Alex eagerly accepted, still desperate for air. By the time the farmer had returned from the kitchen with some water, the taller man had made himself comfortable on a chair. He was wiping his hair with a small blue towel he had fished out of the backpack. He showed remarkable restraint in slowly drinking the water, but still finished the entire glass in one go, not spilling a single drop. Jacob was certain the only reason he took so long to finish it was because he needed to stop and breathe. The second the glass touched the table, the farmer grabbed the pitcher and filled it once more. Alex nodded gratefully before making the water vanish again. He leaned back into the chair and took a deep breath. “It’s fucking hot already. May I?” He pointed at the tank top and began to remove it. Jacob chuckled as he rolled his eyes. “Oh no, an attractive shirtless man on my front porch! What will the crops think?” It was a small joke, or maybe just an excuse to call the other man attractive, unsure of what his reaction would have been. He felt relieved when Alex chuckled and smiled at him. “That you can do better, clearly,” he spoke with a much steadier voice. His breathing had finally slowed down enough for him to be able to hold a conversation. He even managed to wink as he said it. Jacob shook his head in response. 

“Better than the future player of the Zuzu City Tunnellers? I doubt it. When are the try-outs, anyway?” While he was interested in the answer, he also wanted to make this conversation about Alex. He wanted to get to know him better to understand if his own feelings were truly love. Avoiding a conversation about himself was also a precious side effect.

“Exactly a week from now, the day after the Luau. A day before my birthday. What a birthday present that would be!” His green eyes opened wide in excitement. His smile changed as well, only the left side pulling up. The asymmetrical grin made him look cockier, which Jacob had grown to like. A wonderful man like him had every right to be cocky. His answer also changed the farmer’s plans for the immediate future. For one, he had to find a great present for Alex’s birthday to show him how much he was appreciated. The other thing was potentially more urgent. 

“You’re not helping on the farm then. You can watch, but I’m not gonna risk you injuring yourself because you’re not used to the work. Especially not when you need to be in top shape next week!” he spoke sternly, and even found himself pointing his finger at Alex. Feeling uncomfortable in a position halfway between a strict mother and a motivational coach, he awkwardly lowered his finger again. The athlete looked like he was about to object, but lowered himself back into his chair as soon as Jacob raised an eyebrow. He raised both hands in surrender. “Okay, fine then. But I will stare at you while asking questions the whole time,” he said, sticking his tongue out. 

“Besides, it’s only fair for you to get to watch me do something personal now. After I caught you doing something personal at the gym, I mean.” Jacob stuck his tongue out at Alex in retaliation. The athlete groaned, quickly blushing again. “Do you have to keep reminding me? It’s not like I can’t already stop cringing because of it!” He hid his face in his hands, missing the mischievous grin Jacob was now sporting. 

“Just keeping you humble before the stardom gets to your head. You’ll thank me in a few years.”

“I’ll force you to talk about your feelings if you keep doing that,” Alex replied once he removed his hands from his face. It was now his turn to smile mischievously and for Jacob to squirm in his chair. “At least until I find something embarrassing about you. Feel free to share something if you’d prefer that,” he swiftly added. The other man scratched his head with a loud sigh before turning to Alex. They both smiled at each other, the farmer shyly looking away as soon as their eyes met. 

“You know, yesterday, when I was relaxing, I did something pretty stupid,” he started, still avoiding eye contact. Alex leaned in closer, eagerly listening for more words to follow. “Actually, I didn’t. But I enjoy teasing you.” Jacob finished the sentence with a slap against the athlete’s bare chest, the echoing noise functioning as punctuation to his statement. Alex cursed through gritted teeth at the searing pain, rubbing the quickly reddening spot on his skin. The farmer was too busy laughing to notice the other man standing up. He was also too late to do something about the headlock that he suddenly found himself in, the ex-bully showing off his experience. He struggled against the much stronger arms at first, giving up eventually and relaxing instead. He tapped the other man’s back in surrender, but the arm did not release him. Instead, it tightened a bit more, pulling him closer against Alex’s chest. His head was resting against a slight stubble of chest hair, the athlete’s quickened heartbeat loud as thunder.

“You’ll answer two questions, and then I’ll let you go. Okay?” Alex whispered into his ear as he leaned down. His tone made it clear he was teasing and would let the other one go immediately if he so desired. An affirmative humming from Jacob made it clear he was okay with the rules. 

“Question one. Where is the weirdest place you…enjoyed yourself? So, I can use that against you whenever you make jokes about it with me,” he asked teasingly. While Jacob could not see his face, he was certain the other man stuck his tongue out as soon as he finished the sentence. His lips curled into a smile at the jock’s attempt at avoiding explicit language. He squirmed a bit more against the tight grip for effect before lifting a hand and pointing upwards. 

“On the roof. Second week I was here. Nice view, cold breeze, thought I’d try it,” he whispered, out of breath. Alex wasn’t cutting his breathing off in the slightest, but he was playing it up for pity. He intentionally cut his sentences short, taking dramatic paused to breathe loudly. The athlete either did not care or believe his struggling. His entire chest trembled as he laughed in response, shaking Jacob with it. “So, you’re outdoorsy too? I’ll remember that,” he responded once he had stopped laughing. Jacob could not help but raise an eyebrow at the word “too”, making a mental note to also remember that. Alex’s grip on him loosened enough that he could have broken free had he tried to. However, he decided to wait for the second question. A few more seconds passed, making him wander if the athlete had prepared only one question. 

“Why don’t you like it when I call you Jake?” Alex now spoke softly. His voice was caring and worried, a little scared, even. Scared it would be a difficult topic for the farmer, perhaps? The farmer was unsure of the source of the fear, but he appreciated Alex’s tact in approaching the question. The grabbed the arm wrapped around him and began to gently pet it instead of fighting against it. A quiet chuckle escaped him before he began to speak. 

“It’s stupid. That’s what my grandpa would call me, and when he used it, it was always nice and full of love. And then my parents picked up on it, but only used it when they were being condescending. Whenever they wanted to make me feel like a dumb little kid, they’d call me Jake. Only in those moments. I guess they ruined it for me, and now I just go by Jacob with everyone.” The arm around him released halfway through the answer, allowing him to turn around and face Alex. The jock’s eyebrows were furrowed in worry, his lips pressed tightly together. Jacob smiled at him, standing on his tiptoes to pat his head. The athlete’s way quickly gave way to confusion. 

“It’s not difficult to talk about, don’t worry. I really appreciate that you care, though,” he explained. Alex’s features relaxed as he took a deep breath, nodding more to himself than to Jacob. The shorter man proceeded to climb up on his chair, wrapping an arm around Alex’s neck in return and putting him the weakest headlock possible.

“Now you answer two of my questions, scum,” he said in the lowest voice he could produce. He had tried to sound like an action hero, but it was closer to being constipated at best. Alex understood it was a joke, at least, smiling politely and motioning him to speak. 

“My first question for you: what the hell is in that heavy backpack?” His voice had changed back to its normal tone halfway through. They both looked at the item in question in unison, Alex almost yanking Jacob off the chair just by turning around. “Oh, that one. I bought some food for lunch, thought we could have a picnic or something. Then I filled it with some weights because I thought it would be a good workout,” he replied, not a care in the world about how insane his workout routine may have sounded to the farmer. The gesture of bringing him lunch was very much appreciated, on the other hand.

“That’s actually very sweet of you. So, you’re planning on staying for a while, then. That’s good, because I demand a detailed answer to my next question. How did the whole apologizing thing with Robin go? And working with her on the community center, of course. I’m sorry for not checking in sooner, I haven’t been a good friend. Also, do you mind talking while I water the rest of the crops? I should get that done before noon,” Jacob found himself rambling. It was a poor attempt at hiding his confession of being a bad friend. He was unsure why he tried to hide it in the first place. The feeling was valid, but perhaps he did not want to admit to himself he had hurt Alex. Maybe he had expended way too many words about his feelings for a Friday morning. Much to his relief, the man next to him just smiled and nodded, following him along to the farmland and talking while watching Jacob work. He described the events in surprising detail. He told Jacob about cleaning up the community center and bringing Robin her tools back. He explained how they were both crying and how Sebastian ended up getting involved. He even tried to recall the exact words he had said during their conversation, although Jacob hoped they were a bit more coherent than the broken fragments of his memory. He then continued with how they had worked on the community center the past weekend. Apparently, they had a quick conversation at the beginning, and both decided it would be best to just talk about the work for now. They wanted to get used to each other before trying to have any deeper conversations. Jacob listened intently, fascinated at Alex’s story and proud of how mature he was about it all. He was definitely being slower with his work than usual, but he was enjoying the company more than he cared to admit. He barely got a word in himself as Alex just continued his story time with how the Flower Dance went. By lunch time, they had settled down on the front porch again. Alex presented the different sandwich options him and Evelyn had prepared. Apparently, his grandmother had baked the bread herself. Jacob could have guessed as much when the heavenly fresh taste hit his tongue. While the farmer’s mouth was full, Alex suddenly put his own sandwich back down again. His eyes began darting around awkwardly, clearly unsure of how to start that particular conversation. His behaviour was swiftly noticed by the other man, who was now trying to search for eye contact. Eventually, Alex’s green eyes locked onto his, which appeared to be enough for the athlete to relax. He took a deep breath before speaking.

“Grandma is worried about you because you haven’t visited in a while. You also didn’t come to the Flower Dance. I don’t want to guilt trip you, but she would be really happy if you joined us for lunch on Sunday. I told her I’d ask you.” He gave Jacob a crooked smile, silently apologizing for asking him that in the first place. Jacob forced the large chunk of bread down his throat before smiling at him. 

“Don’t be weird about it. I only threatened her husband last time I saw her and then disappeared for a week. No idea why you’re being so awkward. I’d love to join.” He winked and forced his smile to grow a bit wider to reassure Alex that things were fine. If they were not, he would have to make them alright. He owed them that much.


	10. Meeting Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning for this one:  
> Violence, Mention of Abuse, Angst, Alcoholism
> 
> Not the easiest chapter to write because of the above mentioned reasons, but I hope you can enjoy it nonetheless :)

Alex stayed at Windflower Farm for a while longer after lunch, chatting away with Jacob about whichever topic came to mind. By the time he left, the farmer had practically finished his work for the day. There were a few more hours left before his plans to meet Abigail, Sebastian and Sam at the saloon. It had been too long since he last hung out with them, and he missed them. He knew he had a lot of explaining to do about his previous absences, but it was a band aid he was ready to rip off. Instead of worrying about that conversation any longer, he began to work on his birthday present for Alex as ideas started to form in his head. 

He trimmed his beard and put on a nice pair of blue jeans paired with a black button up shirt. He rolled the sleeves back to his elbows and spent a needlessly long time in front of the mirror to make sure he looked well put together. He was certain that he would be overdressed for the occasion, but he just had to put in some effort. Indulging in self-pity for more than a week did no favours for his looks, and this was an attempt to take back some control over his life and his mental state. Judging by the fact that he was smiling at himself in the mirror, it was definitely working. He felt confident and ready to take on a very small part of the world. His first challenge was preventing Fen from getting dog hair all over his clothes, which required distracting the beast with some dinner. With the dog previously walked and now fed, he stepped out of the front door and began to head to town. By the time he arrived at the saloon, the summer sun was beginning to disappear beyond the horizon, casting a golden light over the small town. Jacob stopped in front of the door and looked around at the scenery unfolding around him. Haley was taking photos of the sunset on the main square, Jodi was playing with Vincent in the back yard, and he noticed Maru and Penny leaning against the same tree, both immersed in a book. Everything appeared to be so much more beautiful than it would have been warranted, and he could not help but blame the good mood he found himself in after spending a day with Alex. He chuckled at the thought that an unrequited crush was enough to turn his brain into mush. When he finally opened the door, he was happily smiling to himself. The usual guests were gathered around the saloon. He gave a quick nod to Gus as he entered, the owner of the establishment waving back at him. When Jacob turned around the corner to enter the arcade area, he found his three friends already gathered around the table. Abigail noticed him first, jumping out of her chair to hug him tightly. Jacob returned the hug with one arm, using the other to wave over to Sam and Sebastian.

“I demand a group hug today,” he proudly announced to his friends. Sam appeared to have no objections and was quick to join in. Sebastian appeared to be a bit more reserved and only joined after Abigail starred at him with furrowed eyebrows. Awkwardly wrapping his arms around everyone, he looked at Jacob in confusion.

“What’s the occasion, exactly?” he asked carefully. There was uncertainty to his voice, but not direct objection to the act. 

“I’m really starting to like this town, and you’re the victims of my good mood,” the farmer spoke softly. He squeezed them a bit tighter before continuing. “Also, I really want to talk a lot today and be more open with you,” he said with a smile before releasing the group hug. The others looked at him with friendly faces and anticipation. Once the arms stopped enveloping him, Sebastian quickly took a step away for his own comfort. 

“Did someone drug you? Did something happen? You’re being a bit weird today,” Abigail replied, biting her bottom lip with a mischievous grin. Sam nodded along, his face decidedly more serious and concerned than hers.

“Let’s just sit down and talk, I’ll grab the food and drinks first. Jacob, want to help me carry them over?” Sebastian’s eyes darted between Abigail and Jacob as he spoke. It looked like he was calculating things in his head and assessing the situation. Jacob picked up on the signal that the other man wanted a moment to speak one on one and nodded. Once they were out of hearing range, helped by the loud environment, he turned to the farmer with raised eyebrows. 

“Am I right in assuming that this is about the last few times you missed or left early?” He began biting on his thumb, the gears in his head still clearly turning. Jacob frowned in response, nodding in confirmation, but staying silent.

“You left after you talked about a disagreement with Alex. You then dragged that guy to help at the community center, which I heard went very poorly with my mom. That guy then apologized the next day, but you disappeared for more than a week. Then, two days ago, during a smoke break, I saw both of you walking away from the old train tracks, and now you’re back in a strangely good mood.” He left his assessment up in the air, hoping Jacob would further elaborate. Noticing that he sounded accusatory, he began to put on a disarming smile. It was enough to encourage Jacob to answer.

“I really wish you’d use your perception skill against others, not me. I’d also appreciate if you didn’t tell the others. I will be talking a bit more about my situation with you guys, but I’m not yet ready to tell you everything. Are you okay with pretending you did not connect all the dots, even after I’m finished explaining?” Jacob’s eyes were now pleading the other for secrecy. He felt ashamed. He was not worried about Sebastian potentially figuring his crush on Alex, but he felt violated the other man was able to read him so well. Jacob was used to slowly letting people into his life, keeping them at arm’s length for as long as possible. Sebastian, on the other hand, had just gone straight for the jugular with a polite smile.

“Of course. That’s why I took you aside. Alex has been acting really strange since you came into town, you know? I think you’re a good influence on him. Hope he is the same for you.” Sebastian’s words were still vague enough for Jacob to successfully pretend he still maintained some level of privacy. A gut feeling was telling him that was not the case, though. He sighed in frustration. “He is, I assure you. Now stop prodding my brain. Don’t you have some criminal cases to solve that could use your skills more?” Some walls required quick building, else Jacob would have been overwhelmed. He hoped his comment would make the other man back down. His intentions were pure and kind, but were toying with a vulnerability Jacob did not feel ready to explore just yet.

“Forensics pays worse than coding does. Pepperoni pizza?” Jacob breathed out in relief, saying a silent prayer to Yoba. Sebastian’s perception skill had at last picked up on his wish to drop the topic. He nodded, both in celebration and in affirmation. When they returned to the table, Sam and Abigail were eagerly waiting in anticipation. Jacob treated himself to a first slice of pizza before addressing the group. All eyes were on him already, not so gently encouraging him to start talking already.

“My dearest comrades…nope, that was too much, let me try again. Friends. I’m glad to be here today. With all of you. I enjoy these evenings.” He smiled while looking down at the pizza in front of him, focusing more on his words than on the people around him.

“I have not been well lately. Mentally, that is. Not for many years, if I’m being honest. I know we haven’t done that much together yet, but it really helps me feel better. I’m also realizing I might not be as alone as I previously thought.” Jacob shyly glanced up at the others. Sebastian gave him a reassuring nod, which was enough encouragement to go on. “I got a bad letter from my mother, on top of some other things that I can’t quite open up about yet. As a result, I neglected the relationships I had formed with the inhabitants of Pelican town. Oh Yoba, too formal again.” He started stuttering until Abigail gently squeezed his arm, giving him an asymmetric smile. Jacob took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment, opening them once he had finished exhaling. 

“I’ve been a bad friend and made too many excuses. I’m sorry for that. Also, Sebi, I’m sorry for yelling at your mother. That was technically before the letter, but I needed to get that out. I’ll get around to talking with her, I promise. Long story short, I’m a bit of a mess. I can’t ask you to deal with all of my bullshit or demand help, because I need to do that myself. But if we can keep these evenings up, that would be really cool.” His shy glances at the others had evolved into careful inspections of their response. Sam appeared to be slightly confused, but happy. Abigail could no longer hold back and she hugged him sideways, her purple hair ending up in his mouth despite his best efforts to avoid that. Sebastian leaned back, fully relaxed and content with the direction this evening was taking. Jacob was not quite done yet, though. He slowly raised his hand as if he were in school again.

“One more thing. There’s another friendship in the village that I had been neglecting and I want to make up for it. Alex’s birthday is coming up and I’d like to throw him a surprise party, and was wondering if you’d join…?” He instinctively made himself as small as possible, hoping it would make the invitation seem less strange for some magical reason. Abigail’s arms around him retracted immediately as he furrowed her brows in anger. She let herself fall back into the chair with force, resulting in an unpleasant noise from the wooden legs of the chair scraping against the wooden saloon floor, a record scratch to what was a previously wholesome moment.

“Why would we go to a party for that dick?” Abigail was able to keep herself from shouting, but still made people turn around by slapping her hand on the table. Sebastian began to open his mouth and extended his arm to placate her, but was cut off by Jacob. 

“I am fully aware of your past, Abigail. I know this is a lot to ask after everything that happened. Without him, though, I would not be trying to be a better person now. He was the guy that knocked some sense into me - figuratively, before you start assuming things! Alex has also been trying hard to be a better person and make up for all the years that he wasn’t. I know he apologized to you already, and you’re not the only one. He is really trying, and it would mean a lot if you came. It would mean his hard work is paying off, and would encourage him to continue,” he said, somewhere between pleading and somewhat defending his friend. Abigail did not appear to be fully convinced, although her features softened slightly.

“I can confirm. I talked to him too,” Sebastian chimed in. “He’s helping mom rebuild the community center because he wants to give back to the town. He’s changed, Abi.” He tried his best puppy eyes, but Jacob was unsure if they were even necessary. Abigail always seemed keener to listen whenever Sebastian agreed. 

“He apologized to me too! Was kinda weird, but also nice. I say we go, Evelyn’s gonna make an amazing cake for sure!” Sam was clearly the most excited about the idea. The blonde man was easily excitable and optimistic to a fault, something that Jacob had always envied. 

“Come on, Abi. We are no longer kids. He’s no longer a bully, just like you no longer wear braces. We all changed a lot,” Sam continued. Jacob chuckled at the strange comparison, but it did work on Abigail. The purple-haired girl’s face relaxed, and she sighed in played-up annoyance.

“Fine! But if he’s a dick to anyone I’ll throw that cake in his face.” Abigail pouted and crossed her arms, slumping back into her chair. It was now Jacob’s turn to jump out of his chair to hug her. The evening progressed peacefully, every conversation feeling lighter and more open than the ones from the previous weeks. They quickly returned to playing a variety of games and joked the evening away, as if Jacob had always been there.

The sun was shining bright on Sunday, making the walk to Alex’s house feel like a trek through the desert. Jacob had decided to dress up again for his standards. He had picked a forest green short-sleeved shirt with his cleanest and best fitting black jeans. The shirt gently accentuated what little muscles he had developed from the farm work while the jeans were seeing their last use. With his thighs increasing in volume, they were threatening to burst at the seams if he kept up the physical work. By the time he arrived at the village, his shirt had turned a darker color from the moisture of his sweat. Considering he was invited for lunch by Alex’s grandparents, they were most likely used to sweaty people at the table. He fixed his sweaty hair, wiping his hands off his pants, and took a quick detour to Dusty’s enclosure to say hi to the dog. He held his hand over the fence where the large dog was hiding in his own little hut. Dusty carefully approached the hand, sniffing it a few times before giving it a gentle nudge with his nose, inviting Jacob to pet him. The farmer slowly reached behind the dog’s ear, softly circling the area with his fingers. The quaint moment was disrupted by a man’s shouting coming from the nearby residence. Dusty swiftly retreated to his hut while whining, Jacob’s head quickly turning towards the direction of the door. An uneasy feeling made itself apparent when he realized he did not recognize the voice. He began to approach the door as the shouting increased in volume and frequency. Hesitating for a second in front of it, he could hear Evelyn beg the unknown man to leave. The fear in her voice was reason enough for Jacob to grab the handle and fling the door open. It hit the wall with a loud bang as his eyes adjusted to the darker interior of the house. A tall man was standing over George, his hand grabbing the old man’s shirt. Evelyn stood next to them, hiding her face behind her hands in shock. The unknown man was wearing an old and stained white shirt and ripped jeans. His hair was messy and greasy, and Jacob could immediately tell that the stench of stale alcohol permeating the room was coming from him and not from the family that lived in here. All of their heads were now turned towards the farmer that had just entered unannounced. The tall man’s green eyes were piercing through him with vitriolic hatred. His face seemed eerily familiar, and it took Jacob but a glance at Alex to realize who was he looking at. The athlete was sitting on the stairs, his legs pulled to his chest. He was covering his face behind his knees, softly trembling, completely unaware of Jacob’s entrance who was now facing his father. The man’s grip around George’s shirt tightened as he pulled him closer, almost tearing him away from his wheelchair. 

“Who is that, you old fuck!?” The old man pushed George back into his wheelchair, spitting on the carpet the second he had finished shouting. Evelyn screamed in fear and Jacob began seeing red. Without thinking, he began stomping towards the taller man. 

“Leave them alone and get out of here immediately,” he spoke through gritted teeth, desperately trying to hold on to his last bit of self-control. A cocky grin formed on Alex’s father’s face as he turned to face the approaching farmer. Jacob noticed the muscles in the other man’s chest twitch just in time to duck below the incoming punch. Without hesitating, Jacob’s fist extended straight into the other man’s stomach. The drunkard grunted and staggered backwards, but the force of Jacob’s punch was not enough to make him back off. Hunched over, one hand holding his aching stomach, he turned around and grabbed the vase that was standing on the nearby cabinet. He forcefully threw it at Jacob, who stumbled over his feet in an attempt to dodge it. By the time he regained his footing, the other man had closed the distance and punched him right in the temple. Jacob’s world began to spin, his ears ringing long before the pain emerged from the blunt impact. The farmer was using all of his energy to remain standing, trying to force his body to move and fight back, but it refused to listen and cooperate. His blurry vision picked up on the other man raising his arm again for his next hit. Jacob’s mind was yelling at his body to dodge, but not a single muscle obeyed. He braced himself for impact when he noticed a hint of a green gridball jacket moving towards the other man at rapid speed. Alex tackled his father to the ground, pinning him down long enough to land a single, forceful strike at his face. The other man screamed in agony as Alex easily picked him up and carried him outside the front door, where he threw him back onto the ground. His father quickly picked himself up, most likely too intoxicated to feel the pain, and started running away.

“Never come back, you asshole, or I swear to Yoba I’ll make you pay for everything you did to mom!” Alex yelled before shutting the door. The resulting vibrations were strong enough to force Jacob down on his knees, as his world just kept spinning. Strong hands grabbed his face as Alex attempted to inspect his face, turning it and prodding at the source of all pain. Jacob winced in response, too dazed to speak. He could tell that Alex was speaking to him, but the ringing noise inside his ears made it difficult to figure out the words. From the corner of his eye, he noticed the athlete checking in on his grandparents, hugging them both before returning to Jacob. Suddenly, two strong arms had picked him up and were carrying him up the stairs. He found himself in a soft bed that smelled like Alex but was not nearly as comfortable as his arms. The jock disappeared from his vision for what it felt like an eternity, during which the ringing noise and the dull pain were Jacob’s only company. Eventually, a dark-skinned girl and a mustached man appeared in his field of vision. Maru and Harvey spoke to Alex for a short while before cold hands began prodding the farmer’s head again. Two fingers squeezed where the pain felt the worst, and he could feel a viscous warm liquid drip down his face. The fingers pulled away, quickly followed by a cold and stinging sensation as a disinfectant was sprayed on his fresh wound. A sticky tape began pulling against his skin where the pain was originating from, closing it for now.

“Stop that,” he found himself whispering, trying to move away the hands that were working on him as if they were an annoying mosquito. Harvey leaned in closer towards his face, shining a flashlight into his eye. 

“Jacob, can you hear us?” he asked, alternating the eye he was pointing the flashlight at. Jacob nodded slowly, still dazed. The doctor retreated away from his face, turning towards Alex.

“We can’t do much right now other than give him pain killers. The wound is not too bad, so it won’t need stitches. Keep an eye on him and call me if it gets worse. I’ll be back in a few hours just to make sure he doesn’t have a concussion or some other lasting effects.” Maru handed Alex some pills and instructed him on how often Jacob would have to take them and what else to pay attention to. The athlete was listening intently, his tongue sticking out slightly as he focused on memorizing all the important information.

“Okay, I got it. Again, thank you so much, really. Thank you,” Alex kept repeating, muttering away as Harvey and Maru began to leave. Jacob could faintly hear the doctor talking to Alex’s grandparents downstairs, but preferred to focus on the man who was now kneeling next to the bed. The ringing in his ears was now fading away enough for him to hear Alex whispering his apologies.

“I’m so sorry. I broke down and was useless and now you got hurt. He almost hurt grandpa too, and I didn’t do anything. I’m so sorry, Jacob. I’m so sorry,” he kept whispering, barely audible, while looking down. His voice was trembling, as was his entire body. Jacob’s head leaned towards Alex, inspecting his face and noticing the tears streaming down his face.

“You saved me,” he whispered back. He began to move to get a better look at Alex. His body still felt painfully heavy, but he managed to turn and lay on his side. “That wasn’t useless,” he continued, smiling at much kinder green eyes. Alex raised his head to face Jacob, a small smirk forming. 

“You did most of the work, I just swooped in to take the credit,” he joked, flashing a cocky smile which contrasted with his puffy eyes. The smile was reminiscent of his father’s, and yet could not have felt any more different. Jacob liked this cocky smile, it made him feel at ease. He closed his eyes for a moment to rest them, hoping the dizziness would fade soon. The feeling of lips against his forehead made him open them again, looking at Alex in surprise. Jacob slowly lifted his right hand and pointed at the general direction of his own face. 

“No, my lips are down there, you silly man,” he muttered, the world spinning again and his eyes closing on their own accord as sleep overtook him. 

He was rudely awakened again by Alex, who was shaking him with urgency. “Hey, Harvey told me to wake you up every hour to check in on you.” His intentions were pure and caring, but this felt like cruel torture. Any remnants of adrenaline had faded away, and the headache how felt like someone was jackhammering at Jacob’s skull. “Pain killer, please,” he whispered, his hand flailing around in search for some pills. Alex quickly opened the package of pain killers, placing one in Jacob’s hand before handing him a glass of water to swallow it down. The dazed farmer spilled some of it on himself in the process, but managed to swallow down the pill and was now praying it would work fast. He was unsure of how much time had passed before the pain began to dull, but Alex patiently stayed by his side the entire time without saying a word, fearing that any noise could make the pain worse. Once the aching had subsided, Jacob found himself able to form coherent thoughts again. He also remembered the comment he made about the location of his lips and began wishing for the pain to return so he could forget it again. If he was lucky, Alex would have understood it as banter and not dazed honesty exposing his deepest desires.

“How are you feeling after everything?” Jacob asked, eager to get his mind away from the corner it got stuck in. More importantly, he was worried how Alex was taking the encounter with his father. The jock shifted uncomfortably in the chair he had pulled next to the bed.

“I don’t know. I’m glad he’s gone. I wish he had never showed up. He made me feel like a helpless kid once again, just by being there,” he replied with worry in his voice. Jacob recognized shame on his face, as the athlete was trying his best to avoid eye contact.

“What did he want?” Jacob managed to sit up and face Alex as he asked the question.

“He wanted me to move in with him. Something about how I abandoned him and how he needs to make a proper man out of me. He was very drunk, no idea how he even got here. Then he began yelling at grandpa for raising me wrong. He does this once a year, usually around my mom’s death anniversary,” Alex continued. It was apparent how much he hated his father by the disgust in his voice. Jacob grabbed the other man’s hand to comfort him. He placed the other hand on Alex’s knee under the same guise, but really was to stabilize and keep himself upright. Alex’s hand hesitantly grasped back at Jacob’s, finally looking at him. 

“Never held hands with a friend before,” he tried to smile. Jacob rolled his eyes and tightened his grip.

“You probably also buy people dinner before carrying them to your bed, usually,” he joked in return. The athlete chuckled, blushing faintly.

“I did invite you to lunch, technically. I hope that makes it okay. Speaking of, want me to bring you up some food? Grandma started stress-cooking after everything.” Alex began to stand up before Jacob would even reply, but the farmer nodded anyways.

“That would be nice. Thank you.”


End file.
